


The Summertime & Butterflies

by itszaynandharry



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn - Fandom
Genre: Butterflies, Fall season, Falling In Love, Harry and Zayn fall in love, M/M, Olivia - Freeform, Summer Love, Summer season, house on the lake, lake, lake house, summertime, zarry - Freeform, zarry stylik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-07-24 12:46:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 68,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16175360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itszaynandharry/pseuds/itszaynandharry
Summary: Zayn is seventeen when his father first makes him spend the entire summer with his grandparents at their lake house. At first, he really doesn't want to be there. But that all changes when he meets an eighteen year old boy with green eyes and starts to make spending summer there a usual thing.---A story in which Zayn and Harry fall in love over the course of six summers and experience one Fall season they'll never forget.





	1. First Summer: Bait

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings:
> 
> ■ Eventual Sexual Scenes  
> ■ Some Language  
> ■ There is a major character death but it isn't Zayn nor Harry

"I think it will be very good for you." Yaser said to his son, Zayn, who was sitting next to him in the passenger seat of the car. "You need to get away. Plus your grandparents will definitely appreciate the company."

"But my whole summer vacation?"

"Yes. Your entire summer vacation. And they live in a lake house. Who wouldn't want to stay there a whole summer?"

Zayn leaned against the door and put the palm of his hand against his cheek. "Me. People who swim like the lake. I can't swim so it doesn't interest me."

Yaser chuckled. "The water nearest the bank is low enough to stand in. Besides, there's more to a lake than swimming. You can fish. You can go out on a boat. You can sit down and enjoy the view or even listen to the water crashing against the bank. If you don't particularly like that, Papa and Nan have some activities planned to do with you so you won't be bored there. But above all else, I think it will be good for you. You haven't seen them in years."

Zayn groaned. "I know but still..."

"You're going, Zayn."

Zayn sighed and his father sensed the tone of defeat and pat him on the shoulder.

"I know you don't think it's fair. But they asked for you to come down for a reason. It helps if you think about what it's like to be here. It's peaceful and there's so much you can discover here. Plus it's quiet. And you know you like quiet."

Zayn did manage to give a small smile to that. "Yeah."

"So cheer up then. I think by the end of the summer, you'll have changed your mind. Just wait and see."

He looked out the window into the distance. He would much rather be at his own home for the summer. Not here. Sure, he would never be too embarrassed to describe himself as a homebody because he had accepted it for what it was. But no matter how much he loved his grandparents, taking care of two old people for three straight months was not his ideal choice for recreation. Even if he was bored. He wasn't too sure that would have changed his mind by the end of the summer.

Only twenty minutes later, they were turning into the driveway of his grandparent's lake house. The last time Zayn came here to stay was a few years ago when he and his family came back from his mother's funeral. At the time, he was twelve years old so he really found comfort here. Sleeping in the guest bedroom in the big bed next to his father was okay with him then. But now that he was seventeen, things were different. The lake house was no place for him.

After Yaser and Zayn had collected the luggage, they went up to the front door of the house. Before he could ring the doorbell, the door opened and revealed his grandmother standing there with a delighted expression on her face. She reached out and hugged him immediately.

"Zayn, it's been so long. How are you, darling?"

He forced a smile and hugged her back. "I'm okay, Nan."

"Just okay?" She prodded as she let go and stepped out of the way for him to come on through.

"Uh, I'm good."

As she turned her attention to hugging and kissing Yaser, he dragged his suitcase on down the hallway and into the open living room. His grandfather was sitting in his favorite chair when he came in.

"Zayn. How are you?" He asked and he smiled.

And that was rather adorable to Zayn because his grandfather had no teeth and he hadn't put his dentures in yet.

"I'm good, Papa." He said and he walked over to him and hugged him. "How are you?"

"Oh, just getting old." He said nonchalantly. "That's all."

"Not true. I think you're getting younger. I think you lost a wrinkle today."

Zayn watched contently when Yaser hugged his former father-in-law. Even though they weren't his own parents, he had always had a good relationship with Papa as far as Zayn had known. In fact, they were always very close. It wasn't until Zayn's mother died and Yaser had to take on extra work that they stopped seeing them as much as they used to. And perhaps that was also the reason why Zayn no longer looked to this place as a place of comfort. It wasn't familiar anymore.

Out of the corner of his eye, a woman came walking down the hallway towards him. He reconized her as his Aunt right away. So he went over to hug her.

"How are you, Zayn?"

"I'm good."

"Ready for a summer with your grandparents?"

No.

"Yes."

"Good. And don't worry. You won't be left alone all summer. I live in town and I'll be around sometimes. Especially for errands mom and dad will need to go on and for doctor's appointments."

"Oh. Good."

"Your Papa and I have got all kinds of great stuff planned for you." Nan said. "Your father gave us some ideas and me and Papa had some of our own, didn't we Papa?"

Zayn's grandfather nodded. "Yes. We'll try to keep you busy all summer. But you can also let us know what you don't like and we'll occasionally leave you alone for a while."

Zayn smiled. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"I hate to run." Yaser spoke up. "But I did tell you I'd have to get right back when I told you I was coming. My flight leaves in four hours."

"Yes." Zayn's Aunt answered. "I really hate that."

"Me too."

"Me too." Nan replied sadly. "Maybe we can sit down and talk about what's happening in your life when you come back."

He nodded. "Maybe so."

Feeling a small wave of anxiety come over him, Zayn rushed over and hugged his father tightly. "Bye, daddy." He told him.

"Bye, Zayn. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Have fun. Be good."

"I'll try."

And then just like that, he was scurryung to the door and heading out.

When Zayn turned to face his grandparents and Aunt, he was not entirely sure what was in store for him this summer. But he did wish that whatever it would be, that it would go by fast.

"Have you eaten lunch yet?" Nan questioned.

Zayn shook his head. "No ma'am."

"Then I'll make you something to eat first. Why don't you go on to your room and unpack. I'll let you know when everything is ready." She gave him a loving smile and it was enough to calm him for the time being. 

"Yes ma'am."

Time to himself and a meal on the way. That was the best news he had heard all day.

 

➡️➡️➡️

 

Even if Zayn didn't particularly want to be here, he was extremely grateful to have his grandparents in his life. Being here with them reminded him that it was possible for two people to love each other for a very long time. But what was amazing about them was that his grandparents were more than just in love with each other. They thrived off of each other. They did everything together and to Zayn, they might as well be attached at the hip.

Yaser didn't think it was good. He worried that when one of them died, it would mean the other would go soon after. Zayn agreed. So he hoped that neither of them would die anytime soon. 

Thankfully, Zayn's first week with them was already designated for him to do nothing. His grandmother said it was so he could get used to the idea of staying with them first after having not seen them for years. So Zayn took full advantage of it. For the first few days, he stayed inside. He only came out of the room to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and once to sit and watch a game show with his grandmother which he did not find enjoyable. He was glad they didn't pressure him though. They clearly understood that he wanted a considerable amount of space from them even if he wasn't necessarily distancing himself from them.

One thing he had always looked forward to when summer vacation came around was getting to sleep late. He was often robbed of sleep when he was up late studying for tests or just having to get up early after not being able to sleep at night in general. So he appreciated that his grandparents didn't expect him to get up early just because they always got up early.

It was now the sixth day that he'd been there. Even though he did love it, he was already a bit tired of staying inside the house. So after he'd eaten a late breakfast, he put on his shoes and he headed outside through the back door. At first, he wasn't quite sure what he would be doing out there. But when he saw the plastic lawn chairs at the edge of his grandparent's dock, he figured he could sit in those and enjoy the sun beating down on him for a while, while he surfed the web on his phone.

But as he headed out to walk toward the chairs, he noticed someone else out on the dock next to him and sitting in a beach chair with no shirt and no shoes on. He stopped in his tracks. He was hoping to be out here alone but now he was going to have to share part of the afternoon with some man. Just great.

Deciding he'd have to pretend like he was the only one outside today, he went on to the dock and sat down in the green lawn chair. He kept his eyes trained forward, towards the lake which seemed to be a bit murky than he ever remembered it being before. Most days it was beautiful and clear. But today, not so much.

Stretching his legs out to get more comfortable, he faced the sky and looked up at the clouds. The sun shone out of the corner of his eye and blinded him, but he just could not get over how puffy those clouds looked. If he could reach out and grab one, he would probably sleep on it for the night.

"Ayye, what's up?!" He suddenly heard a voice raise from his left.

He quickly turned to face that direction but he couldn't really see because the light from the sun was still there in his eyes and was projecting a green spot directly in his view. But at least he was able to make out that it was coming from the man next to him since he could see a figure standing up now.

"Uh, hello!" He said.

"You live there?!"

Zayn hesitated. Who was this stranger inquiring of him? Gosh, if only that spot would go away so he could see clearly. "No! I'm just here for the summer!"

"Ah. Nice! You're related to those old people?!"

Zayn chuckled. "Yes! They're my grandparents!"

"Cool!"

Zayn sat back in the chair again and closed his eyes. Perhaps doing that would allow his eyes to readjust. Silly him for ever looking up at those clouds with the sun right there.

"So how old are you?!" Another question came.

Zayn frowned. Why was this man so nosy? It was none of his business how old he was. "Why?! How old are you?!" He questioned in return. 

"Eighteen!"

Upon hearing that answer, Zayn froze in place. Eighteen? Why was his voice so deep, then? "Are you really?!"

"Yeah! Don't I look it?!"

Zayn shrugged. "I can't see, to be honest! I think I accidently looked in the direction of the sun too long!"

He could hear him laugh. "Oh, yeah. That will definitely blind you for a while!"

Zayn sat up in his chair and faced him, his eyes were clearing up a bit and he could see him there with his short curly hair. He was just a bit too far to make out any facial features. "So... I'm seventeen!" He finally answered.

"Oh, yeah?!"

"Mhm. Are you only here for the summer too?!"

"No. I live here! Been here since I was seven!"

Zayn was so surprised. For some reason, he thought only older retired people lived here. Either that or well-to-do people with no children. Boy, was he wrong. "Not by yourself, though right?!"

"No. Of course not! I live with my parents!"

"Oh. I see! Well that's cool that you live on a lake and everything! You like it?!"

"I love it!"

"Hm."

It was quiet for a moment but Zayn was still looking over there at him. The fact that he was eighteen with a voice like that was... well, it had his attention.

"Should I come over?!"

"Huh?!" That caught him off guard for sure.

"Should I come over?! I mean, so we can stop yelling across at each other!"

"Oh!" He answered. He wasn't sure that he wanted him to but he did ask nicely first. So why not? "Sure!"

The young man made his way up the dock and across their yards and then down the dock Zayn was on, over to him. Zayn didn't even realize that he had been watching him the whole way until he had finally reached him and waved a hand in his face. "Hi, there."

And that's when Zayn was able to see it. He did have that young face. But how? How did such a raspy voice come with such a baby face? And what was he to do with that?

"So what's your name?"

"Zayn." He answered. "What about you?"

"I'm Harry."

That earned a small chuckle. Just off first glance, that fit with him. To Zayn, the name Harry had a wild, carefreeness feel about it and if he had to say so, those messy curls and the fact that he wasn't ashamed to be standing next to him shirtless and barefoot while in some tiny blue swim trunks meant he wasn't exactly far off.

"Ah. I see."

"And you're here for the whole summer, you say?"

"Yep."

"Do you know anybody here?"

"No. Just my grandparents... And now you." He added.

Harry smiled.

"That's cool. Not many people my age live on the lake. I'm the only one, really."

"I figured you would be. But honestly, I thought I would be the only one. I'm glad I'm not."

"I'm glad you're not, too."

Zayn paused to think about what he was saying. He would have thought that Harry would say he was glad he wasn't either. But the way he worded that sounded like he was saying that he was glad he was here with him. He was sure he meant to agree in a different way.

"Got any plans while you're here?"

Zayn looked at him in awe. His ability to ask certain questions in a conversation with him as if he had been knowing him for a while impressed him. "No."

"You should spend it with me, then."

"You have something fun to do?"

"I guess. Maybe."

He raised his brow. "If you're not sure, why would you suggest that then?"

"Because I thought you might like to just have company so you're not alone."

He slowly smiled again. "You're weird."

"Now that is something I don't hear every day."

Zayn gave a quick glance down his body to his feet, then looked off to the lake. "Why are you tanning?"

"I'm not necessarily tanning, really. I'm just soaking up the sun and the way it feels. If I happen to be tanning along the way, then I guess that's cool too."

"Harry!"

They turned toward the voice to see a young girl with long white hair standing outside the door.

"Yeah?" Harry asked.

"Ma needs your help!"

Not wanting to end the conversation, Harry sighed and folded his arms. "Alright Gemma, I'll be there in a minute!" Then he faced Zayn. "Well, I've gotta go. My mother and sister are calling. It was nice talking to you. Maybe I'll see you again and we could hang out some time."

Zayn nodded. "Yeah."

"Sounds good. See ya."

Zayn only gave him a small hand wave and he watched Harry until he disappeared into his house. After that, he sat back and stretched his legs out. He was in thought.

If he had to say so himself, Harry was really good looking. His way of striking up a conversation was very intriguing and Zayn liked that he didn't feel self conscious about being half naked around him. And he wasn't just glad that Harry was confident because he got to see an attractive boy in nothing but swimming trunks- because he did think that- but he was glad mainly because it showcased a confidence that Zayn knew for sure that he did not have. What if that could rub off on him this summer?

Hopefully he'd be seeing him again soon and get that chance. 

 

➡️➡️➡️

 

Once when Zayn was twelve years old, he came home from school and told his mother that he felt bad about himself. When she asked him why, he remembered telling her that he had a crush on a boy in his class and he wanted to kiss him. When she asked him why he felt bad, he said it was because he didn't think boys were supposed to kiss other boys. He remembered the way she hugged him and told him things would be alright but what he loved the most was the way she never made him feel bad for having those types of feelings. She always told them that she would support him no matter who he liked. And she did.

He never did get the opportunity to kiss that boy and he hadn't had the chance to kiss _anyone_ after that either. But ever since that talk with his mother, it had been much easier to admit to himself that his feelings were real. He didn't really shout it to the world but he wasn't ashamed either and that was most important.

Zayn's father also knew. He wasn't apart of the conversation that Zayn had with his mother those years ago but his mother did tell him. He was fine with it, though he found it a bit difficult to really talk to Zayn about boys and safe sex. That was probably the main reason Zayn never really pursued a boyfriend. And because he never pursued one, Yaser didn't ever have to rush into giving him the talk.

Despite his parents knowing, that wasn't something his grandparents were aware of. Not that Zayn was scared to tell them. But he also wasn't sure how they would take it either. How would they feel about their only grandson having an interest in boys like himself? Would they support him? He knew they loved him so it would not suprise him if they ended up still loving him the same. But he just didn't know for sure. So he wouldn't just volunteer that sort of information to them. He would likely just wait until they found out on their own and handle their reaction when the time came around. But whenever he was ready, of course.

So that's why even when they were all sat out on the dock a few days later and Harry was swimming in the lake to the left of them, Zayn didn't really even look his way.

"See, you take the worm and you just stick it right on the hook like this." Papa was saying as he demonstrated the act.

Zayn turned his face up when some of the juice spurted after the earth worm was punctured. "Ew."

But Papa waved a finger at him. "You would not be saying that if fishing was the only way you could get food. You would be very grateful that you even have this worm to be able to use as bait."

"I'm sure there are other ways to get food, Papa."

"There are, yes. But this is much more relaxing and requires less work. Look at us. Your Nan and I are old. This is all we can really do these days. Hunting is not an option for me anymore."

Zayn smiled warmly at him. He wasn't sure if fishing was an option either. Honestly, he feared his grandfather was going to accidently stab himself with the hook just now because of his slightly shaky hands. But at least he felt like he could take that better than Papa handling a gun and accidently shooting and killing someone or injuring himself from the backfire.

"Go on. Grab a worm." Papa prodded.

"Uh..."

"Go on."

Zayn reached in the bucket of live worms and pulled one out. But it wiggled in his hands and his first reaction was to get it out of his hands quickly. So he threw it over into the water.

"Oh no." Nan said with a soft scold. "We're not trying to feed the fish. If we feed them like that, they won't be hungry enough to bite on our lines."

Feeling guilty, he lowered his voice and offered an apology. "Sorry."

"That's alright. Try again."

Reluctantly, Zayn reached in the container of worms again and grabbed another one. This one moved much less but he still cringed as he pushed the hook through it.

"There you go. Now, was that so hard?" Papa questioned.

"Yes."

Nan laughed and the wrinkles next to her eyes made Zayn smile. She was so adorable. He really loved her.

"Now you just cast your line out like this." Papa said and he reached back before thrusting his arm forward so that the weight carried the line out to the lake. It didn't go far because he didn't have as much power as he used to have. But it went far enough.

"Okay." Zayn did the same. He wasn't really holding it right though, so it went outward a bit and to the left. He sighed. If he didn't love his grandparents as much as he did, he would not have the patience to sit out here and learn how to fish with them.

"Now we sit and wait and relax and be really quiet." Papa said.

"Okay."

"But that will be really hard when that boy is swimming right next to us." Nan commented.

Zayn looked over towards Harry for the first time to see him rising up out of the water, wet hair falling in front of his face and sticking there. He smiled. "You share the lake with everyone around you, Nan. Sometimes that's the way it is." He found himself saying.

"Oh. I know. I'm just saying we shouldn't expect too many fish to swim our way when he's disturbing the water. That's all."

He sat back in his chair and looked down at the water before sneaking a glance Harry's way. But it scared him because he didn't know Harry was already looking at him. So he blushed when Harry waved at him. He waved back and looked down with a smile. Even a few seconds later when Harry had went back into the water, he was still smiling.

"Well, see if fishing has got you smiling like that, I'd say we picked the right activity today." Zayn's grandfather said. And he sounded so proud that Zayn didn't have the heart to tell him he was wrong.

"Of course, Papa."

For twenty minutes, they sat there and they had to reel in their lines and cast them three times when they drifted. But nothing ever bit. It wasn't until Papa fell asleep in the chair and almost lost the fishing rod that Nan knew they should stop for the day and go back inside.

"Alright, Papa. Let's go on inside. I'd hate to send Zayn in the lake to get your fishing rod. You know he can't swim."

Zayn nodded quickly in agreement. He couldn't swim and never had an urge to learn to do so either. Even though he could still walk at the edge of the bank and retrieve the rod if it feel in, there were only a few feet before it suddenly got deep. He couldn't risk going that far in and slipping under. Plus, just the idea of getting wet was also enough to make him wince. He really hadn't planned for that today.

After packing up their small container of worms and kit of bait and hooks, Zayn grabbed everything and watched them walk up the dock towards the house. It amazed him how old they were, yet they still got around well without the use of a cane. He hoped he would fare the same way when he got to be their age.

Slowly they went up to the house and as he held the door open for them, he looked back for Harry. He was just wading in the lake, so he made a quick run to the carport to put everything away and then back inside. By the time he was done washing his hands, his grandfather was in bed and Nan was in her rocking chair with the newspaper in her hand.

"Zayn, if you want the TV, it's all yours." She said.

That offer was tempting because here, his grandparents only had one television in the whole house and that was the one in the living room. It'd be nice to be able to watch something he liked. But he was too anxious to sit inside.

"Thanks, Nan. But I think I'll go back outside."

"You're sure?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm sure."

"Then take something refreshing with you. It's just after two and we're reaching the heat of the day. I don't want you to get a heat stroke out there."

He nodded. "Yes ma'am."

As she said, he did go to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water for himself. But he thought about Harry and grabbed an extra one just in case. Then he headed outside to see if he could spot him. Harry was there. But he wasn't in the lake anymore. In fact He was actually headed in his direction.

Zayn panicked and tried to turn around and go back inside but Harry called his name.

"Zayn!"

He stopped and faced him with a bit of fear on his face. "Yeah?"

"I didn't think you were coming back out."

"Oh... ah...." Nervous laughter. "Yeah."

"You must be thirsty." Harry commented when he reached him.

Zayn looked down at the two bottles in his hand and felt his face go hot. He could never tell Harry one was for him.

"Yes. Very. Sitting in the sun can do that to you."

"That's fair."

Harry put his hands on his hips and it was then that Zayn noticed that his hair had been slicked back into a tiny ponytail now. "You're done swimming?"

"For now. Only to come looking for you."

He paused. "You came looking for me?"

"I'm in your yard, aren't I?"

He nodded and shrugged at the same time. "Yeah. But why?"

"I thought we could actually hang out this time. Just at the dock or something. Maybe I can convince you that those jeans are very unnecessary to be wearing right now. I mean seriously, I'm burning up just looking at you."

Zayn chuckled and held out one of the bottles to him. "Here then. Have something cool to drink."

"But you're thirsty, aren't ya?"

He shrugged. "I'll live."

Harry gladly took the bottle, opened it and took a sip. "So I never see you outside that much. You don't like summer or something?"

"No. I do like summer."

"You don't dress for it."

"You've only seen me a couple of times. How do you know I don't dress for it?"

"Because a person who usually dresses for it wouldn't be in jeans on such a hot day like this. Do you own a pair of shorts?"

"Yes."

"What about swimming trunks?"

"I have them but I don't swim."

"You don't?"

"No. I can't swim."

Harry frowned. "You can't? Well that's a bummer."

"Why is it a bummer?"

"Because that was my whole reason for coming over here. I was going to invite you to swim with me."

Zayn didn't know why his heart beat so fast. But just the idea of being invited to swim by this... really cute boy was so nice. "Oh... Well, like I said. I don't swim but I could change into my swim trunks and stand in the water with you, if that's good enough."

"Yes."

"Okay." He said. "I'll be right back."

He shoved his own water bottle into Harry's hands and ran back into the house. As he made his way to his bedroom, he chuckled to himself. He was not willing to get wet for the sake of getting his grandfather's fishing rod, but he'd go through the trouble of changing and standing in water just because Harry asked him to? He should have felt bad. But he didn't.

Instead of going both barefoot and bare chested like Harry, Zayn opted for a t-shirt to wear and slipped onto a pair of flip flops. Then he went through the living room again

"Nan, I'm going next door with Harry."

"Who?"

"Harry. Remember the boy that was swimming next to us when we were fishing? That's Harry."

"Oh. Him?"

"Yes. He invited me over."

"Hm. That's very kind of him. Have fun."

"I'll try."

He went outside and spotted Harry already at the dock but not at the edge where the water was deep. So he slowly made his way there. When he reached it, Harry was just standing there watching him. Sort of in the same way Zayn had watched Harry walk over to him the first day he met him.

"You're not afraid of water, are you?" Harry questioned.

"No. Not as long as it isn't deep. But honestly, I am really skeptical about getting in this lake. How do you do it without worrying about what might get on you?"

"I'm used to it. Also, this lake is not stagnant. It extends from the river so there's constant flow."

"What about the fish?"

"What about them?"

"They're always in the lake. What if one touches you?"

He thought that was funny. "That would never happen. They always run from people. It's the critters at the bottom you should worry about but they mostly only stay toward the more shaded areas of the lake. Like under the dock or where there's more trees. If you go back to the edge of the lake near the bank, you'll be fine. Trust me. Plus the water is clear, so you'll be able to see what's near you."

"Hmm." Zayn rubbed up the side of his arm. "So... are you getting in?"

"After I get to know you a bit."

That surprised Zayn, but he did sit down on the dock and let his legs and feet dangle over in the water. "What do you want to know?"

"You're in school?"

"Yes. My last year will be this coming year."

"Are you glad?"

"I don't know. Not really. Because I wouldn't consider myself finished even when I graduate. I have plans to go to college."

Harry sat down next to Zayn. "Same here. I'll be headed there this August."

"Are you excited?"

"Sure. It's new for me. But I'm ready for the adventure."

"You think you can handle it?"

"I know I can."

Zayn kicked his feet around in the water just to listen to the sound of it. "I like your confidence. I'm thinking I'll have the same when this next year ends. At least I hope I do because it's the only way I'll finish all four years."

Harry leaned back on his hands with a smile. "You said you're just here for the summer. Who do you live with at all other times of the year?"

"My dad."

"Oh. What about your mother? Actually, you know what? That's quite a nosy question. Don't answer."

"It's okay. I don't mind. She died from Pneumonia about five years ago. So it's just me and him now."

"Do you live anywhere near here?"

"Nope. A whole hour and a half away."

"Wow."

"Yep."

"Do you like it here so far?"

"It's alright. To be honest, I didn't really want to come here but my father said he thinks it's good for me. There's not much to do here when your only source to get away is your Aunt who occassionally visits while the two old people you live with can't even drive anymore."

Harry smiled. "Hey, if you wanted to go somewhere, I have a car."

"Your own car?"

"Yep."

"You drive?"

"Yeah."

"And you have a license?"

"Yes. I had better if I plan on going to college this fall."

Zayn nodded. "Well that's cool. And very true. I need to see about doing the same thing this coming year."

Harry paused and just looked at him. "If you really do want to go somewhere other than just your grandparent's backyard, you're welcome to ask me. There's not really anyone here my age so I definitely don't mind hanging out with you."

"You'd really do that for me?"

"Of course."

He gave it some thought before he gave a reply. "Okay. I will. But I will not take advantage of you though."

"Sounds alright to me." After saying that, he slipped down into the water and stood there. The water was up to his waist.

"Are you coming in or not?"

"Ahm... I'm cool here."

"You're cool there?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you said you would stand in the water with me."

Zayn pouted. "That was before I sat here and got comfortable." He said and Harry grinned up at him. Zayn really liked his smile.

"Next time, then?"

"Maybe."

He watched him lean back effortlessly in the water and float on his back. There was going to be a next time with this cute boy whom he hadn't noticed had beautiful green eyes until just now when the sunlight hit the water and reflected in them. Just great.

 

 


	2. 1st Summer: Butterflies

Despite that Zayn did like Harry, he didn't really see him over the next week. He actually spent that time going to the store with his Papa and Nan and he also he went to the doctor with Papa when his Aunt came by. He was surprised to learn that the only thing wrong was that his grandfather's blood pressure was a little high but that mostly came from him being nervous about having to be checked by the doctor.

He missed his father a bit too. He'd already spent three weeks here and he was starting to come around to this place. But that didn't mean he didn't still love home more.

"Didn't I tell you you would?"

Zayn smiled. "Yeah. You did, daddy. But it's still odd not being there with you. I miss you."

"I miss you too. The other day, I baked a half chicken. You know you and I would always split that between us but since you weren't here, I had dinner for two days instead of just one."

Zayn smiled. "I miss your half chicken dinner."

"Why don't you ask Nan how to make it. It's her recipe. Your mother just showed me how to make it when we got married."

Zayn thought about it but shook his head. "Nah, it's okay. I worry about her enough. That's a complicated recipe that requires a lot of back and forth to the kitchen and I wouldn't want to ask her to do more than she's already doing."

Yaser chuckled into the phone. "Alright, son. That's fine. But are you going to tell me why you like it so much there all of a sudden? I was expecting you to call me bored out of your mind."

Zayn paused. His reason was Harry, of course. But was he ready to say that? No. Not yet. Yaser might think there was something more when in reality, they were really only friends. "I just think the lake is a nice place to go for the summer. That's all."

"See? I knew that it fit you well. You just needed to spend a little more time there to see what you liked and didn't like. Are there any activities left to do or have you done them all?"

"No. There are still things left to do but I'm not sure what they are yet. I really want Nan to show me how to make banana bread. That's simple, I think."

"It is simple and I'm sure she can."

"Me too. I'm just afraid she'll want to take over and do it for me instead of show me. You know how Nan used to be."

Yaser hummed. "Yes. I know. But be gentle, Zayn. You know she still thinks she can do everything. Don't make her feel bad."

"I won't."

The line was quiet for a short while and Zayn fell backwards in the bed.

"I'm getting sleepy. So I think I'm going to hang up and go to sleep."

"Sure. But don't forget I'll be sending you money in the mail. And also, I'll give you a call early next week, okay?"

He nodded. "Yes sir."

"I love you."

"I love you too, daddy."

After that, Zayn hung up the phone and stretched out in the bed. Soon after, he'd drifted off to sleep.

➡️➡️➡️

  
"Oh. Yes. I've seen you many, many times and never met you. You're a handsome boy." Zayn heard his Nan saying one afternoon when he'd just opened the bathroom door after showering. But he stayed hidden behind it because he was only in his underwear. "And you say you're Zayn's friend?"

"Yes ma'am."

When Zayn heard that voice, he panicked and scurried out of the bathroom, down the hallway to his bedroom, then closed the door. _Harry?_ What was he doing here?

"Let's just go see if he's ready."

Zayn scrambled around in his room, looking for something to wear. He snatched a pair of dark jeans a plain shirt out of the drawer.

"Zayn, a friend of yours is here to see you!" He heard his grandmother call from the hallway but he knew that she thought he was still in the bathroom because he could hear her knocking on that door.

"Okay, yeah! But I'm in my room." He was rushing so much that his arm got caught in the sleeves. Just as he finally pulled the shirt over his head, the door to his room swung open and he was face to face with Harry and Nan.

"Nan!" He yelled in panic before reaching for the pair of jeans and covering over himself. Harry gasped before ducking out of the doorway.

"Oh, dear. I'm sorry. I didn't know you weren't dressed. If you hadn't gotten dressed, why did you ask him to come in here?"

"I didn't!" He said. "I said _I'm_ in my room. Not _com_ _e_ in my room! Go away!"

He honestly didn't mean to holler at her. But he was so ashamed that Harry had seen him in his underwear that it was the only way he knew to react. She left him there alone and when she closed the door, he fell on the bed and bawled into the covers. How was he going to face Harry after this?

He cried right where he was for another five minutes. Then there was a knock on his door.

"No." He said.

But Harry's normally raspy voice came through very soft from the other side. "Zayn, it's me. I'm sorry."

Zayn stayed quiet.

"Plus, I didn't even see anything, really. When I saw you yelling, I turned away right away."

Now he faced the door, but kept his head down.

"Don't be mad at me. I didn't know. I don't think your grandmother knew either."

When there was no answer, Harry put his hand on the door knob.

"I'm gonna come in if you don't say anything. I mean it."

Now Zayn did sit up quickly. "No wait. Give me a minute." He said. He sniffled and wiped his eyes, then finally worked up the energy to put his pants on. Once they were on, he sat on the edge of the bed with his hands in his lap. "Okay. You can come in now."

Harry slowly pushed the door open and peeked his head in. When he saw that he was now dressed, he came in, pushed the door up behind him and came over to sit on the bed next to him.

"Hey." He said and it was as if he knew that it would make Zayn laugh because he leaned forward to look at Zayn's face just as he giggled.

"Hey."

"I was hoping you would like to do something today."

"Oh."

"Do you want to?"

"Do something like what?"

"Well, I'm going into town. My mother wants me to get bread and a few canned goods from the store. I'm telling you, when you get your license, this is one way your father will take advantage of you. So get ready."

Zayn chuckled. "You're probably right."

"Oh, I am."

Zayn sniffled again. "So you want me to shop with you?"

"Sort of. And we could go get lunch or something. I mean you're seventeen though. I should probably ask your grandparents for permission to do that first."

He nodded. "You can ask. But I don't think they'll mind."

"And your dad?"

"What about him?"

"How does he feel about you being alone with a boy?"

Zayn didn't know why but that question sounded like he was hinting at something and it made him so nervous that a huge smile could not be contained from sweeping over his face. "Ahm... I think he's okay with it."

"And you?"

He almost stopped breathing. "Yes" was all he said. But he was embarrassed because he thought that maybe he was making it obvious. And it especially felt that way when Harry gave him a quiet closed mouth laugh and stood up from the bed.

"Whenever you're ready, I guess."

"I don't have on socks and shoes. But I can put them on."

"Sure. And while you do that, I will do the gentleman thing and ask your grandparents just to be sure. I'll be out there."

"Okay."

As he left the room, Zayn let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding. _"The gentleman thing."_ That was so sweet. But why did he get butterflies in his stomach over that? Harry was only being courteous, wasn't he? Plus it was only to hang out with him. It wasn't like he was asking for his hand in marriage or something.

By the time Zayn put on his shoes, Harry had already gotten permission to take him driving. So they were in the car and on their way into town.

"So how are you feeling?" Harry asked him.

Zayn looked over at him. "I'm fine."

"So we're good? About what happened earlier, I mean."

Zayn nodded. "Yeah. We're good. I'm not upset anymore. Still embarrassed. But not mad."

"You shouldn't be embarrassed either. It happens. I remember when I was younger, I went to a friend's birthday party. I was about twelve then and there was a bouncy house. I was jumping up and down and one of the kids pushed me while I was in the air so I fell down awkwardly and split my pants right down at the crotch."

Zayn giggled. "Oh no."

"Yeah. I was pretty embarrassed. I didn't know what to do because I wanted to go back in the bouncy house. But I didn't want my friends to see my split pants because my underwear was showing. So I ended up having to go in the house and my friends grandmother had to sew up my pants. Which means I had to take my pants completely off. It was bad."

"Wow."

"I know. So you're not alone. Trust me."

Harry glanced at Zayn again and shot him a kind smile and it made Zayn's cheeks go hot. Harry had made such an effort to make him feel better when he didn't really have to. He appreciated that.

They continued on until they made it to town. When they finally pulled into the lot of the store, Zayn recognized it right away. It wasn't the one he went to with his aunt but he had come here a couple times with his grandparents some years back. He still remembered when his grandmother gave him money to buy whatever candy he wanted. Not that she ever thought it could fill a void but that was clearly her way of trying to get him to smile a bit after his mother died. He loved her dearly for that.

Shopping with Harry turned out to be nice. But they did get strange looks from people. At first he didn't know why but when he realized the security guard was keeping a watchful eye on them, he knew it was because they'd assumed that two young boys who were alone must've come there to steal.

It made Zayn uncomfortable and it also was a topic of their conversation when they were sat in the car of a drive-in and eating lunch.

"Does it happen often?"

"Mmm, not really. I think that's because it's usually just me. Two of us probably made it a lot more suspicious."

"Oh." Zayn answered sadly.

"But that's not to say I don't want you to shop with me anymore. I do. Just pointing out that that was probably the reason."

Zayn picked up a fry and swiped it through ketchup in a ketchup container. "Okay."

When he ate it, Harry leaned back against the headrest and looked at him. "I won't be here."

"What?" Zayn asked.

"In about five days, I'm gonna be going out of town with my parents. So I won't be here."

Zayn had no idea why his whole mood soured. "Oh... For h- how long?" He stuttered out.

"Three weeks. We go for three weeks every summer."

"Do you want to go?"

"Of course, I look forward to these vacations every year. My parents are always working and when they're not working, they're usually tired from working. I enjoy getting to spend that time with them and Gemma."

 _Aw man..._ Zayn thought. Why did he ever think he would say no?

"That's cool."

"Yeah, it is. I've always had such a great life. I'm lucky enough that my parents care so much about my education that they're paying for me to go to college and providing whatever monetary needs I'll soon have so that work can't distract me."

Zayn twisted his head sideways. "What? Really?"

"Yep."

"Wow you are lucky. But I guess I am too. My father wants me to work with him. He's already got a job lined up for me but wants to wait till I'm eighteen. So I'll start that next year. He's still paying for me to go to school though."

"Hmm, it's nice to have parents with really good jobs. Only downside is that I hardly get to see mine."

"Yeah. I know what you mean. My dad goes out of town for work often so there would be times where I would be home by myself for four days straight and I'd have to take the bus to school and back home. But he was always there for me, regardless, I admit. I don't feel any less close to him than I want to be."

Harry chuckled. "I think that's a sweet thing to say about your relationship with your dad."

"Thanks."

He watched Harry lift his hand and take a bite of his burger. He tried to stay engaged in the moment but he found himself drifting to thoughts about what it would be like without Harry for those three weeks. His grandparents had said they had fun things for him but their idea of fun was different from his. But Harry was someone who knew what a seventeen year old really might be interested in. What was he going to do to entertain himself whenever he got bored? He had no idea.

He sighed opened mouthed and it caused Harry to frown over at him. "You okay?" He asked.

Zayn nodded at the question and played it cool. "I'm good. Just thinking about how I'll need to tidy my room up when I get back home. I hate doing that."

"Tell me about it." He answered. "But I think spending time with you just gave me the energy to go home and do it anyway."

Intentional or not, Zayn felt them. There were those butterflies again. And they were all inside him fluttering around and stirring up a ruckus. Was Harry's sweet talking starting to make him feel a certain way about him? He thought so. But he didn't want him to know. So he cleared this throat and wiped the grin off his face. No chance that Harry would suspect anything now.

➡️➡️➡️

  
"So, Zayn." How is it coming?"

Zayn sat back in the chair. "Still haven't cought anything Papa. And it doesn't seem like I ever will."

"That's okay. You just have to be patient. On the bright side, you don't have to worry about that kid swimming and running all the fish away again. I tell ya, it seems like that boy is always in the water. He must be part fish."

"Well... That's impossible." Zayn found himself saying but he couldn't help it. "If Harry was part fish, you couldn't blame him for scaring the fish away."

"Oh yes, yes. That's his name." Papa said.

Zayn poked his lip out a bit and his grandmother looked at him. "You seem to have gotten to know Harry since you've been here though. You really like him?"

Zayn winced at her choice of words. "He's cool."

"Well that's good. Children need someone their age to hang out with."

Zayn's expression was not of a pleased one. "I'm not really a child though..." He mumbled.

Nobody heard him.

As the water rushed up against the posts of the dock, Zayn let his thoughts take him away. All throughout highschool, he never was the texting or talking on the phone type of guy. He always preferred being face to face with those he had a conversation with. But he couldn't help but wonder why Harry didn't at least ask him for his number. Not that Harry should be texting him while he was on vacation and not that Harry should be checking in with him either but still... Did he not want to talk to him over those three weeks? Zayn wondered that.

Trying to distract himself from thinking negatively, he reeled up the line and then cast it into the water again.

"Whoa, very nice. You get better each time you do it." Papa commented with a smile.

"Why not? I have nothing else better to do." He mumbled.

Again, nobody heard him.

➡️➡️➡️

  
The day that Harry and his family returned home from vacation, Zayn was actually in the kitchen with Nan and had forgotten all about him. And it was a bit easier to forget because it turned out that the three weeks with only his grandparents weren't as bad as he thought.

Taking his father's advice and asking his grandmother to show him something was a good thing because he learned how to make banana bread from scratch. He forgot how good it was to bite into a warm slice of fruity bread with walnuts baked into it. All that he needed now was peanut butter or vanilla ice cream.

"I haven't made this recipe in a very long time. I'm so glad you asked me to show you." Nan told Zayn after she broke a piece of banana bread to eat.

"Thank you for teaching me how to make it. I think I'm gonna go write the recipe down so I can make it for daddy when I go back home."

She chuckled. "That sounds like a wonderful plan."

He scurried out of the kitchen and down the hallway as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Nan announced.

As she answered the door, Zayn rummaged through his room for a pen and some paper. And after finding both items, he rushed back to the kitchen. For some reason, he was in such a hurry that he was actually running to get back. And because of it, he didn't have much time to stop when he rounded the corner and unexpectedly, he collided with someone. He would've fallen if it weren't for strong arms grasping him tightly and holding him up.

"Whoa there. Someone is in quite a hurry. What if I were your grandmother instead?"

He locked eyes with the one holding him. The last thing he expected was for this green eyed beauty to be knocking on his grandparents' door today. "Harry. Uh..."

Harry let out a soft chuckle. "Are you alright?"

Zayn couldn't find the words. "I..."

"Well you're not crying or writhing in pain so I assume you are."

He let go of Zayn so he could stand on his own and as Zayn was just standing there looking at him, he collected the pen and paper from the floor, which Zayn didn't even realize he had dropped.

"Thank you." Zayn told him as he handed him the items.

"You're welcome."

"I don't recall your name, dear." Harry looked beside him to Zayn's grandmother.

"It's Harry."

"Oh, yes. I keep forgetting. Well, I'll leave you two to each other, then."

"But Nan." Zayn quickly said. "The banana bread recipe."

She smiled. "Don't worry about that now. I won't take away time from your company. I'll be in the living room watching TV with Papa if you need me."

"Uh... Okay."

She left the two of them standing in the hallway and Zayn cleared his throat. "How was your vacation?"

"Nice."

"Where'd you go?"

"To a resort on the beach."

"Really? Did you have an ocean view?"

"Yes."

"Wow. That's awesome. I bet you had fun."

"I did. And you... I hope you did too."

"A little bit, I guess. Definitely nothing like going to the beach though."

He put his hands behind his back with a soft smile. "Something smells good in here."

Zayn perked up. "Yes. I made banana bread. Do you like banana bread?"

"I love banana bread."

"Then would you like a slice? It's still warm."

"Sure."

They went into the kitchen and Zayn washed his hands. Afterward, he cut Harry a slice and put it on a napkin for him. "It's my Nan's recipe. It's one of my favorites of hers."

He took a bite. "Mmm. I can see why. This is delicious."

Zayn smiled. "I'm glad you like it. I like it too."

He took another bite of it, then reached out and tugged at the little apron Zayn was wearing. "Bees. That's cute."

Zayn shrugged. "It beats all the floral ones that she has."

"I guess so. Still adorable though." He kept his hand securely on his apron as he asked his next question. "Did you miss me while I was away?"

"No." Zayn answered quicker than he intended. And yeah right. It wasn't like he didn't spend a whole day wondering why Harry didn't ask for his number or anything.

"I wanted to ask for your phone number but I forgot, so... you know."

That scared Zayn. Wow, it was like he had been reading his thoughts just then. It was weird but he played it cool. "That's okay. You were on vacation with your family. You didn't need to talk to me."

"But I did want to send you pictures of the ocean and the place where we stayed. The bed in my room was amazingly comfortable. And big."

"Ah." Zayn said. "That's good."

"Yeah. And there were so many things to do. You probably would have enjoyed yourself with the activities at the resort more than going to the beach because I know you hate the water."

He gasped. "I don't hate the water."

"It seems like you do. I haven't seen you get in it since you've been here."

"But not because I hate it."

"Then why won't you get in it with me?"

"Just because I didn't. Plus it's lake water. Yuck."

He chuckled and finally let go of his apron. "I've been swimming in this lake for years and I haven't mutated into a six headed monster yet. So I think you will be fine too."

"Hmm."

"I'm serious. You will. So you should really think about it."

"Yes. That's what I'll do. I'll think about it." Zayn told him. "Okay?"

"Sure."

Harry ate another bite of his bread and nodded his head. "Delicious."

After that, Zayn made him wait in the kitchen while he went to make his bed. Thankfully it wasn't too disorderly so in a matter of minutes, the two of them were sitting on the bed in his room, having a conversation and exchanging phone numbers. But it was very hard to concentrate because Zayn kept wondering why he was first on Harry's list when he returned. Was he suposed to feel special? Regardless of if the the answer was yes or not, it surely felt that way.

➡️➡️➡️

  
The next time Zayn and Harry saw each other was when Zayn was on the dock with his grandparents. They weren't fishing. They were just enjoying the day because the heat wasn't overbearing today. Zayn was in a lawn chair and watching a music video online with his headphones in.

For a split second, the volume lowered for a notification alert. He pulled down the notification bar and smiled when he saw it was a text from Harry.

**Are you bored?**

He replied back.

**Idk. Why?**

Another text came in.

**Because you look bored.**

His choice of words made made Zayn look around. But when he saw no one outside, he glanced toward Harry's house and sent another text.

**Are you watching me from your window?**

**Maybe.**

Zayn smiled and sent another one.

**Stop.**

**I can't stop. You're fun to look at.**

Zayn shook his head with a chuckle. But didn't bother to send a reply back. So it was Harry who sent the next text back.

**How do you feel about dinner?**

What a strange question.

**?**

**How do you feel about coming over for dinner tonight? You and your grandparents.**

Oh. Now he understood. Harry was inviting him over.

Wait...

Harry was inviting him over!

He wanted to jump up and down with excitement but he knew Harry was watching him. So he sent a calm reply instead.

**That sounds fun. What time?**

**7**

  
Zayn felt goosebumps form over his body. It was already 5 o'clock. That was just 2 hours away.

**I'll ask them and see what they think about it. Then I'll let you know.**

**Okay.**

He turned to his grandparents. "Papa. Nan."

Nan faced him. "Yes?"

"May I ask you something?"

She smiled. "Of course, darling. What is it?"

"Harry asked us over for dinner tonight at seven? Can we go?"

"Harry?"

"The boy next door."

Papa grunted. "My answer is no. Last time they put too much salt in the food. I'll never eat anywhere but home again."

She chuckled. "He's not talking about Harry's family. We really don't even know them and we've never tasted their food before. He means someone else we ate dinner with three years ago. We haven't eaten anyone else's food since."

"Since?" Zayn asked because he couldn't believe it.

"Yes. We don't eat away from home anymore because Papa likes my home cooking best."

"Nan's food has always been good, ya know. And never too salty. An old man like me with high blood pressure can't take the sodium."

Zayn poked out his lip a bit and then sat back with his elbows on the arms of the chair. "So... Papa won't go then?"

"No. We'll stay home. But you can go. He's your friend, right?"

Zayn only nodded. Of course Harry was his friend. But he also liked him. Being with him outside alone or in his room at his grandparents' house alone was okay. But he didn't necessarily want to be alone in Harry's house with him. Unfortunately, it looked like that was what it would turn out to be. Why did his grandparents have to be so attached at the hip?

Instead of answering Harry, Zayn resumed watching the video he had been watching before. Obviously he'd have to think on it.

* * *

  
By the time seven o'clock rolled around, Zayn and his grandparents were back inside. Papa wasn't feeling good so he went to lie down in bed. Grandma was just coming back from bringing him tea when she passed Zayn's room.

"You've been standing in front of that mirror for a while. Are you ever going to leave?" She asked.

Zayn looked at her. "Yes ma'am. I am. I was wondering how I looked."

She smiled. "Fashion these days for young folks really confuses me. But I'll say you look fine. You're also quite late. It's fifteen minutes after seven."

He nodded. "I know. But I'm leaving now." He took his phone from his pocket and glanced at it before putting it back. "I'll be back by ten."

"Alright."

He passed her and went out through the front door of their home. He hated to walk across the lawn but he really didn't want to make the long trip up the driveway to the street and then back down Harry's driveway. After ringing the doorbell, a young girl with blue hair and a lollipop in her mouth opened the door. He recognized her as Harry's sister right away because he remembered Harry identifying her as such at the beginning of Summer when they first met.

"Hello. You must be Zayn. I believe this is the first time we've officially met."

"Gemma! What are you doing?"

The door swung open further to reveal Harry.

"Will you chill? I'm just answering the door."

"I told you I would get it. Go away."

She rolled her eyes. "Ugh. You're so annoying."

When she walked off, Harry shook his head. "Sixteen year olds. I don't miss that age. Do you?"

Zayn laughed quietly. _"That age_ was only two years ago for you and just half of a year for me."

"Feels longer when you live with a sister like Gemma." He said and he backed up out of Zayn's way. "Come in."

Zayn did and he waited for Harry to close and lock the door before he went further into the house.

"I thought you weren't coming because you never texted me back." Harry said.

Zayn put his hands behind his back. "Oh yeah. That's because I wasn't sure up until the last minute."

He nodded. "And your grandparents?"

"Uh... They're okay. They just weren't feeling good this evening." Only half of that was true.

"Oh. That's okay. But you can meet my family."

"Okay."

Harry led him to the kitchen where a man, woman and Gemma were all preparing food. "Oh, hi, Zayn." The woman said cheerfully when she saw him. She had such a welcoming smile.

"Hi." Zayn said.

"I'm glad you could come for dinner. Are your grandparents here?"

"No ma'am. They aren't feeling the best."

"Oh. Well that's alright. Maybe another time."

"Yeah. Maybe."

"My name is Anne and this is my husband, William."

"Nice to meet you."

"You've probably met Gemma already but she's my daughter."

"Yes. I met her at the door."

She still kept her smile. "Well that's our family. We'll have fun getting to know you tonight."

He watched her spoon beef onto a tiny round of dough. "I'm sure I'll have fun getting to know you too."

"Anything else you need me to do, ma?" Harry volunteered.

"No. We have enough helping hands between William, Gemma and I. Why don't you go entertain your company."

He shrugged and looked at Zayn. "Okay. Let's go into the living room."

Zayn followed him and they ended up sitting on the living room couch together. "Your family is really nice." Zayn said.

"Thank you. It's about time you're finally getting to meet them."

Zayn nodded. "Gemma loves to dye her hair, I see."

He rolled his eyes playfully. "Yeah. I don't think it's good for her but my mom and Willie let her."

Zayn frowned. "You call your dad Willie?"

He chuckled. "Yeah. The thing is, he's not really my dad. I just tell everyone he is. He's my stepdad. But he's the only true father I really ever had. Ever since I was seven."

"Wow."

"Yeah. I was lucky that I was still able to have two parents to grow up with and be with me now to support me." Then he stopped himself. "But not to say you are unlucky or anything since your mom died. Just that I feel lucky by my own standards for myself. That's all."

Zayn touched his shoulder gently. "It's okay. I understand what you meant."

Harry softened and leaned against the back of the couch to look at Zayn. "Will you miss the lake when you go back home?"

"Probably. It's so peaceful here."

"True. It is. But will you miss me?"

Zayn laughed. "Why do you keep asking that?"

"I only asked once."

"And I gave you your answer."

"Right. You said no. I was hoping you changed your mind to be honest."

"Why?"

"Because I would miss you."

"Yeah right." He mumbled but he still got those butterflies again.

When Harry saw him and how shy he had become, he changed the subject on to something else. Ten minutes later, dinner was ready and Anne brought in a tray of beef and cheese samosas. Zayn was surprised that they were not eating formally in the dining room but rather in the living room on the couch together. It was nice to have a more comfortable setting and the conversation was even more of a contributor to the easygoing atmosphere.

After dinner, Harry took Zayn to his room and showed him his video games. They even opened a case and played one together. Zayn really enjoyed himself and he was so into it that he lost track of time. It wasn't until he felt his phone in his pocket that he thought to check the time.

"Oh no."

"What's wrong."

"I'm late."

"You are?"

"Yes. I told Nan I'd be back by ten. It's after eleven."

Harry quietly sat his controller on his bed and then ejected the game from the console. "Well... she didn't call, right?"

"No."

"So then she's not worried. She knows you're safe. Plus, you're just next door."

"It doesn't matter. I told her ten so I should've been paying attention to the clock. I'm sorry. But I have to go. I guess I'll see you later. Thanks for dinner and for the fun."

"You're welcome." Harry told him.

Harry was kind enough to step out of his front door to make sure Zayn went in the house but he didn't go any further than that. The front door was open, so Zayn went on inside. Most of the lights in the house were off so he knew that both Nan and Papa had gone to bed long ago as usual. But he still felt bad that he didn't honor the curfew he made for himself.

Later that night when he was finally in bed, he couldn't help but think about the night. Going there alone wasn't so bad after all. It felt like he and Harry were just good friends and enjoying some time together. Harry didn't have to know he liked him at all. As a matter of fact, no one did.


	3. 1st Summer: Lake House

"You did good, son."

Zayn smiled at his grandfather. They'd gone fishing again today and Zayn ended up with the biggest catch of the day. They were all in the kitchen right now. "I did?"

"Yes! Absolutely. Bass are hard to find in this lake but you caught a big one. I'm extremely proud."

"So am I." Nan said happily. "All I have to do is gut and clean this, then whip up some vegetable medley and fresh bread and we have dinner tonight."

Zayn grinned and pushed his chest out a little. He caught dinner tonight? Wow. He might be better at this fishing thing than he thought.

"I'll go finish bringing everything in from outside, Papa. You two stay inside."

"That's thoughtful of you. Thank you. Do you know which side of the carport the fishing poles go?"

"Yes sir. I do."

"Okay. I'll leave you to it then."

Zayn left his grandparents in the kitchen, then went outside. They were out of bait so the only thing left at the dock were the poles and the tackle box. As he reached the dock, he heard someone yelling and turned to see Harry coming out of the house.

"Because you're always babying me! I know what I'm doing!"

"Or maybe you don't!"

"Ugh! Fine! I won't accept it, then!"

He slammed the door closed and then kicked at a pot of elephant ears just outside the door. Not wanting to appear nosy, Zayn quickly turned away and took the fishing poles and the tackle box to the car port. He was going to go back inside once he put the items where they belonged. But he couldn't help but look Harry's way again. When he saw him, he noticed he was sitting at the edge of the dock, hunched over with his chin in his hands. He didn't look alright and it worried Zayn.

Deciding to satisfy his curiosities, he made his way over to Harry's backyard and down the dock, towards him.

"Um..." He said silently. "Are you alright?"

Harry shrugged but answered him. "No."

"Is there something I can do?"

"No. You wouldn't understand."

"Okay. Well... I'll just go away then."

As he turned his back, Harry sighed. "You know what I hate? How everyone wants to have a say so in what I do. I'm eighteen, I have my own car and I'm about to start college in a couple weeks. I should be able to make my own choices. It's not that big of a deal."

"Oh."

Harry faced him. "Listen. If you had the opportunity to work some place where the job was practically handed to you, would you not take it?"

Zayn shrugged. "I don't know. Depends on what kind of job it is."

"A cashier at a liquor store. That's it."

Zayn relaxed. "Oh. Well. Sure. I wouldn't mind. Especially if I didn't have a job and really wanted one."

"Exactly! As much as I love my parents, I'm tired of them wanting to pay for everything. I know they just want me to stay close but I don't want that. I want to make my own money and my own decisions. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working at a liquor store. She doesn't have to get so upset about it every time I mention it."

Zayn really liked Harry's mother and thought she was so sweet. So out of respect, he didn't want to speak against her. "Well if she was that angry, maybe there is a reason why. Maybe you could sit down and ask her what it is."

"I already know what it is." He said and there was so much irritation in his voice. "The problem is she'll never change her mind."

Not wanting to say too much or pry into his family business, Zayn stayed quiet and plopped down next to him on the dock. Doing that was much less rude than just walking off because he had nothing to say.

They sat there next to each other a minute or so before Harry huffed. "Your dad has a job lined up for you, right?"

"Mhm."

"Are you excited about that?"

He thought for a moment. "Yeah. I really want to know what it's like to do my dad's job. It feels like I'd enjoy it. Especially the travel aspect of it."

Harry was intrigued by his answer.  "Wow. That's good. At least one of us is happy about our parents predetermining stuff for us."

"Yeah."

That made Harry chuckle and he looked at Zayn with a half smile. "I can't believe you're still here."

"Hm?"

"You stayed even though I didn't want to talk to you and even though I could have gotten mad at you, you didn't go anywhere until I said what I wanted to say and you listened to me when I did."

"Yeah. So?"

"But when I ask you if you want to get in the water with me, you chicken out and suddenly have no tolerance for me. Makes sense."

Zayn scoffed and frowned.  "I am not a chicken."

"Then get in the water with me."

"No."

"So you're a chicken."

"No. I am not a chicken. Will you stop saying that? I'm just not risking getting any parasites from the lake water. I call that being very smart."

"And I would agree with that if I hadn't been swimming in it since I was seven."

"Doesn't matter if you agree or not. There is nothing you can say or do to get me in that water. So you might as well give up trying."

Harry hummed. "Sure, maybe there is nothing I can say. But nothing I can do? I'm not so sure about that."

The way Harry looked at him made it so obvious that he was accepting a challenge and Zayn knew that.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Huh?"

"Don't get any ideas. I'm serious."

"What?"

Zayn started to get up just as the smirk was forming on his face. "Harry. Stop. I'm leaving."

But he watched Harry carefully when he realized he was getting up with him and he refused to turn his back on him. "Don't." He said and he took a step back away from him. When Harry took a step forward, he took another step backwards.

"I swear..." He warned.

"What?"

"Don't."

"What?"

"Harry, stop."

Suddenly Harry lunged forward at him and Zayn took off running in the opposite direction. As he made it safely onto the grass and off the dock, Harry caught up with him and wrapped his arms around him. Zayn screamed and tried to remove his hands but he couldn't.

"No! Don't! I mean it!"

"Relax." Harry told him and he laughed into his ear. "I'm not gonna throw you in the water. It was a joke. Relax."

Zayn quieted down. "You're not?"

"No. I was joking."

He relaxed. "Oh. Good. Because if you did, I would never have forgiven you."

Harry laughed and he briefly lifted Zayn from his feet before putting him back down. "That's cute and you're hilarious."

"Only a little."

"A lot."

"Zayn, son. Did you find it?"

When Zayn heard his grandfather's voice, he gasped and pulled Harry's hands from around him. "Yes. I- I found it... I was just... I'm coming, Papa." He looked back at Harry with a sheepish look. "I have to go. Sorry."

Harry didn't hide his frown. "That's okay."

Zayn slowly made his way to his house with a deep exhale. He probably could've stayed but he didn't want to. Maybe his father knew but his grandparents didn't and he definitely wasn't sure if it was something he wanted them to know just yet. Maybe in time, but right now? No. Not now.

* * *

  
"So you're enjoying your summer there after all, huh?" Yaser was saying to Zayn over the phone that night.

"Yes but I really miss being at home."

"I know. Only one more week and I'll be there to get you."

Zayn smiled. "I think I want to come back here next year."

"Really?"

"Yes. I learned how to fish and I caught the biggest bass today. We ate it for dinner tonight."

"Wow."

"I know. I was so surprised. We haven't really caught much all summer. Papa only caught a few Brims and Nan froze them after she cleaned them. But at least they have that though."

"Nice. So surprisingly, it was the fishing that makes you want to go back. But what about the lake? Do you like it?"

"Yes. I do. It really was nice and serene here."

"And getting in it isn't so bad after all, is it?"

Zayn hesitated. "Well..."

"What?"

"I haven't gotten in it yet."

"What?"

"I know."

"But Zayn, it's a wonderful experience. It's so different from swimming in a chlorine swimming pool."

"I know."

His father was quiet at first. "Listen... The whole reason I wanted you to go there was to get out of your comfort zone for a little while. You're seventeen and you hardly like to go anywhere or do anything, really."

"But I did get out of my comfort zone. I went fishing. I never do that at home."

"I know, I know. I'm just saying even if you have plans to, you never know if you'll be able to go back there ever again. And I don't want you to regret not trying more than one thing. That's all."

Zayn smiled. "I understand, daddy."

His father sensed a bit of irritation, so he didn't push it too much more. "Well, you need to tell me how you caught that bass. That sounds like a story."

"It is!"

In that moment, Zayn almost forgot concern about getting out more was being shown for him and he gladly told his father about what it was like to feel that fish biting. Sharing stories like this with his father meant so much to him. He couldn't wait until this summer long vacation was over so he could see him in person.

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
It was the last night before Zayn's father would be coming to pick him up for the summer and Zayn was packing his things away so he wouldn't have to do it tomorrow. When he took his swimming trunks from the drawer, he sighed quietly. He'd only ever put them on once during this entire summer. But that was only because of Harry and he was too cautious to actually get in the water.

Did he regret that? Not really, because the fact of the matter of was that the lake just never was appealing enough to him to ever want to get in it. And he could never force himself to make it be appealing to him either.

What made him sigh was having his father's words come to mind. Sure, fishing was good but there was also much more he could do. What if he never got to visit this place again? What if he never saw Harry again? His chances to try new things here at the lake would be gone too.

To make the situation worse, the last time he saw Harry, he'd ditched him at the dock when his grandfather caught them playing around. After that, he was too afraid to face Harry so he didn't go outside, for fear Harry might catch him out there. His plans were to leave tomorrow without telling Harry so he didn't have to face him but if he did that, then Harry would only remember him as the boy who constantly rejected him and then left him without a goodbye. And he didn't really want to leave him with that. He liked Harry and even if he didn't tell him he did, he didn't want him to think wrongly of him.

Once again, he sighed but this one was much deeper than before. Should he or should he not? Sure it was after ten and the sun had set but should he contact Harry and at least suggest it? Would Harry want to? Was he in bed right now and if he was, would he still get up for him? He contemplated those questions for a while before finally getting up and retrieving his phone from his bed. He didn't want to give himself a chance to change his mind so he quickly sent the text before he could think about it.

**Are you up?**

Just seconds later, he got a reply.

**Yes.**

He sent another one.

**Are you in bed?**

**No.**

He let out a breath of relief.

**You should come outside then.**

His reply took longer this time.

**Outside? Why? Are you out there?**

**No. Not yet. But I will be in a few minutes if you agree to come out.**

Now the third time was even longer.

**Sure. I guess. But why?**

**Put your swimming trunks on.**

Harry had sent him back a single question mark but Zayn didn't answer. He just got dressed as quickly as he could, grabbed himself a towel and went to meet Harry outside.

When he got outside, Harry wasn't there yet. So he waited outside his back door. Finally when the door opened and out stepped Harry, he smiled hesitantly. But Harry wasn't smiling. He was confused.

"Zayn. What's going on and why did you ask me to come outside?"

"Do your parents know you're out here?"

"They're sleeping but I'm not necessarilly sneaking out if that's what you're asking. Gemma saw me walk by her room. And she probably heard the door close too."

"Oh, okay. Good."

"But you still haven't answered the question. Why did you ask me to come outside?"

There was no hesitancy this time. "I want to go get in the lake."

Harry just stared at him. "If this is a joke, it's not funny."

"It isn't one. I'm serious." He tugged at his own swimming trunks then held up the towel in his hand. "See?"

Harry did see. But he couldn't believe it. "Really?"

"Yes."

"What made you change your mind?"

Zayn was embarrassed to admit it. "Tonight is my last night here before I go back home. So I want to try something I've never done before. And you always ask me to do this with you, so..."

Harry softened. "Tonight is your last night?"

"Yes."

"But there's still two weeks left in summer."

"I know. But I'll need to spend those weeks getting ready for senior year. Go shopping for supplies, get registered, start figuring out my plan for my last year. You know... so I can be fully ready for college."

He held his hands out and wore a confused look. "Why didn't you tell me though? We could've gone out and done something together. Why would you keep something like that from me?"

He lowered his head. "I know. I- I'm sorry. I wasn't really thinking, I guess. I didn't want to say anything because-"

But his sentence was interrupted abruptly when he was yanked by Harry off toward the lake. Knowing that Harry wasn't angry at him, he relaxed and laughed all the way until they reached the bank. When they stopped, Harry wasted no time removing his shoes, socks and shirt. Then he just went right in the water.

"Is it cold?" Zayn asked.

"No. It was a hot day today so the water is fine."

Zayn took off his shirt and after slipping out of his flip flops, he walked to the edge of the bank. He was trying to see down in the water but of course that was impossible. It was dark and the stars and moon just simply weren't enough. Harry had reached up and grabbed his hand to steady him.

"Okay. Come on. Jump down."

At his order, Zayn jumped down. When water splashed near Harry's face, he gasped. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay. I can't get in water and not expect to get wet. I'm just so happy you decided to do this. I mean you're really late but I appreciate you still doing it at all."

Zayn nodded. "Trying new things."

Harry let go of his hand and walked further out. When he lay back and started to float, Zayn shook his head. "Wow. Amazing. I can't do that."

"I could teach you."

"Nope. I'm good. I barely even got in the water to stand. I'm not about to do anything more. But you can tell me when you learned. I wanna know."

"When I was seven." Harry gladly answered. "My dad... Willie taught me how to swim after he got married to my mother and we moved here with him. He was really trying to make himself truly part of the family by spending a lot of time with us and I appreciated it. He's the reason I love the water so much now."

"Nice. I didn't have anyone to teach me, so..."

"If you come back next summer, I can be the one to do that."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

He chuckled but he didn't give him a yes or no answer even though he knew he would never let that happen. "We'll see."

Zayn bravely stepped further into the water and swooshed it around a little. "You know... if I turn into a sea monster with gills and forty eyes after this, I will blame you because it was always you trying to convince me to get in the water in the first place."

Harry stopped floating and stood on his feet so he could get a good look at him. "Funny you should say that. There have been cases where people have turned into sea monsters because they haven't gotten immuned to the water yet before it got splashed in their face. In this very lake even."

Zayn reconized the joke so he chuckled but he stopped when Harry swiped across the water and splashed water in his face. "Hey." He said.

"Oops."

But Zayn splashed back with the same motion. "How do you like it?"

"I love it because I'm immuned."

"Please. Not funny."

"Yes, it is funny. See?" When he splashed Zayn again, he laughed out loud. "Hilarious." 

This time when Zayn splashed him again, Harry grinned and repeatedly used his entire arm to push water in his direction. When Zayn realized this was becoming a water fight he would not win, he turned and scrambled to the bank, laughing on the way.

"Don't be afraid, Zayn!"

"Stop!"

The water was putting up resistance so he couldn't run as fast as he would like to and Harry was still able to splash him good. The water was so cool to the rest of his body that he screamed out and didn't care how late at night it was.

When he got to the edge and tried to climb out, his body felt heavy and it slowed him down. Just getting on land had taken so much out of him, so he collapsed near the bank and lay out on his back with his hands and arms stretched out. Perhaps this was another reason he avoided this for so long. Water fights took up whatever energy he did have.

Harry crawled over him and then callasped on top of Zayn even though it was far from necessary. Then he slid off of him a little so he was next to him and able to look at him but still halfway on top. They stared into each others eyes and Harry gently pushed some of Zayn's hair from his face. Things felt different to Zayn at that moment. They were so unbelievably close and though there wasn't much light from the sky or the back porch light of their houses, he could tell that it was different.

"Can I tell you two things?" Harry whispered.

"Sure. What?" He whispered back.

"The reason my mother doesn't want me to get that job at the liquor store is because my biological father drank a lot. That's why their relationship never lasted."

"Oh." Zayn said sadly. "And you were so young. I'm sorry you went through that."

"Me too."

"And the other thing?"

He took his time about responding. "I like you, Zayn. And by that... I mean I like you as in... more than friends."

That caught Zayn off guard because he didn't expect him to be brave enough to ever admit that to him. He knew he could never be the first to admit something like that to Harry without knowing how he felt about him in return.

"I like you too." He told him.

"As more than friends though?" He questioned. "Because that's different."

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Really."

Harry giggled and Zayn could tell it was really more so from relief of not being rejected. He'd pushed his fingers into Zayn's wet hair and ran them through it. "That's good then."

They were still close so Zayn didn't even notice Harry leaning in. He felt Harry's lips touch his lips and they touched his for a short while before he drew away.

"Um..." Harry said nervously. "Zayn... You... you didn't kiss back."

"I know."

"Did you not want me to kiss you or something?"

He shook his head. "I've never kissed anyone before."

Harry gasped and sat up. "You've never kissed anyone?"

"No."

"So I just stole your first kiss?"

"No." He said.

"Yes. I did." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Ugh, I'm so stupid and selfish. I should've asked first."

Now Zayn sat up. "No. I wanted you to. I wanted you to kiss me."

He swallowed and looked at him. "You did?"

"Uh, huh."

"Then why didn't you kiss back?"

He twisted his mouth sideways to show he was unsure. "I don't know how. I didn't want to look foolish."

Harry chuckled a little and wiped running water from his face. "You've never even had a short kiss with anyone?"

"No."

Harry removed his legs from Zayn's and sat up on his knees, facing him. "Well I guess that's not hard to believe. You seem innocent enough, I think."

"Is that bad?"

"No. It's not bad. It's good."

Zayn laughed quietly and then looked at the ground beneath them that was now moist from the water that ran off of them.

"So I guess that wasn't your first kiss then?"

He laughed as if it were so obvious. "No. Definitely not. But what just happened is not much of a real kiss to me. I don't consider it real until the people I kiss, kiss me back."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Zayn looked up at him. "I could... try. But don't laugh if I do something dumb."

"I won't."

"I mean it."

"I won't." He repeated.

After studying him a moment, he took it upon himself to lean in. And he knew that when he was merely pressing his lips against Harry's that it was dumb but still, Harry didn't laugh. Instead, he pressed his lips against his a little firmer in return. When the kiss was done, he looked at Zayn's silhouette with a satisfied smile.

"I'm so glad you asked me to come out here."

"I'm glad you agreed."

He pulled Zayn onto him and then fell backwards onto the ground with him up against him. He couldn't be more glad he had agreed either.

 

➡️➡️➡️

 

The next day when Zayn awakened, it was early and he realized he was still outside. When he turned and saw Harry next to him under the morning sun, he cursed under his breath. They had laid outside on the bank together and talked until they fell asleep. Why did he do that? Not only did it leave him stiff and uncomfortable, he could get sick and the risk of their family members finding them here with nothing but swimming trunks on would surely give rise to suspicion about their relationship.

Their relationship... Did they have one? Sure they kissed last night but they kissed when they were fully aware that Zayn was leaving. In those circumstances that kiss meant nothing, right? In his opinion, it did until proven otherwise and he didn't want make a guess either.

Without disturbing Harry, he quietly got up, collected his things and went back inside. He thought he would be able to sneak inside undetected, but he forgot his grandparents always got up so early. His Papa was sitting in his favorite chair in the living room and he could smell breakfast cooking.

"You're up early." Papa commented when he saw him come in through the sliding doors.

"Yes." He said nervously.

"Why are you half dressed?"

"I... I went and got in the lake."

"At eight in the morning?"

He nodded. "Yes sir."

"Well, alright." He said although he didn't really understand because Zayn wasn't even wet. He was completely dry.

Zayn scurried on past and went to take a shower. When he finished, he got all his things from his room and brought them to the living room.

"What would you like for breakfast?" Nan asked him when she saw him come in.

"Nothing. I'm not hungry."

"You're not hungry?"

"No ma'am. I'm not."

"Are you sick?"

"No. I'm not sick. I'm just not ready for food."

She saddened because she wanted to make breakfast for him on his last day. "Oh. Well... Let me know if you change your mind."

"I will."

But Zayn never did change his mind. He still hadn't eaten anything when his father and Aunt had arrived. They greeted each other and his Aunt thanked him repeatedly but his father did not choose to stay too long. Apparently he had to get back for work. As they were outside and packing his things in the trunk, Zayn heard a voice come from next door.

"Zayn!"

He looked over in that direction to see Harry clean and fully dressed and he huffed. He was hoping they had gone before Harry showed up. They almost made it.

Harry jogged over to him and put his hands in his pockets. "Hey, Zayn. You left me at the lake this morning. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Sorry." Was all he said but something about the way he said it made Harry think he was insincere.

"Oh. Hello."

Harry faced Yaser. "Hello."

"I'm Yaser, Zayn's father. What's your name?"

"I'm Harry Styles. I live next door. I spent time with Zayn this summer."

"Oh, I see. Well it's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

"Are you ready, daddy?" Zayn asked.

"Yep, I've got everything packed."

"Okay. I'm ready too."

"I guess this is goodbye, then?" Harry asked quietly.

"Yes. It is. Thank you for the great summer vacation. I had a lot of fun."

"Me too. Will you be back?"

Zayn shrugged. "I dunno. I'll have to see."

"Okay. But take your time and really think about it so you can say yes, okay?"

That did generate a very short giggle. "Alright."

When Harry reached out to hug him, Zayn quickly stuck his hand out for him to shake instead. Harry looked hurt and confused by it but he still shook it anyway. "Bye, Zayn."

"Bye."

Not wanting to look at him too long and make his father suspicious, he got in the car and then closed the door. But his father had already known something was up. The handshake was strange to him and the effort in shaking his hand was more telling than if he'd just accepted the hug.

"So, Harry, huh?" He'd said when they were well on the road.

"What?"

"Harry. He seemed nice."

"Oh. Yeah. He is."

"He sounded like he was going to miss you when you left."

He hesitated. "Well, he's the only one around his age in his neighborhood and we became friends, daddy. Of course he will miss me."

"And you'll miss him as well, I assume."

"I'll miss living on the lake. Not ncessarilly him." He corrected.

But Yaser didn't believe him. "Do you want to go back?"

"For the summer?"

"Anytime. If you really want to visit, that is."

He leaned against the door. "Maybe. But probably not."

"Probably not? Why?"

"Just because. And really, I don't wanna talk about going back already. I've been away from home for nearly three months. I'm just ready to go back."

Yaser raised his brow when Zayn leaned against the door. Zayn clearly wasn't going to say anything about it and that worried him a little. He wanted him to come to him when things had changed. Not try to hide from him. But at the same time, he didn't want to force him to be open with him either. It became apparent then, that he just might have to be clever with this one. Perhaps now was the time to stop delaying. This was the summer he was going to have to finally sit him down and talk to him about safe sex.


	4. 2nd Summer: Friends

When Zayn first went back home after spending the summer with his grandparents, he always hoped that he would be able to go back. When he got his licence, it became a possibility and when his father gifted him a car for his birthday, it officially became a reality. However, things had changed since then.

Zayn didn't know why but Harry would not return any of his calls or text messages. For the first week, he texted him everyday. Because he recieved no repsonse, he ended up calling him and leaving a voice message about how sorry he was even though he didn't know what he had done. He felt pathetic doing that but he had his first kiss with this boy. He'd hate for things to end as quickly as they started without even knowing the reason behind it.

Soon, texting everyday turned into once a week, and then once every few weeks and before he knew it, he had given up altogether by month four. Clearly Harry wasn't going to acknowledge him and honestly, he didn't even know why he tried for that long.

By the time the nine months of his senior year and preparing for college had ended, he was so angry at Harry for ruining his desire to go back. So for the first two weeks of summer, he stayed home and pouted. It wasn't until he came back from his graduation ceremony and his father had questioned him about seeing his grandparents that he realized he was very interested in getting to the bottom of the problem and going to visit them for the summer might be the only way. Harry may have been avoiding him over the phone but it would be very hard to avoid him if he saw him face to face, wouldn't it? Zayn wanted to see how right he was. So he packed his things, called ahead and headed to his grandparents' lake house for the summer.

He had no plans or anything. So after his aunt had left him alone with them, he stayed inside and tried to put one together. What was he going to say to Harry if he saw him? Was he going to yell and scream at him or be calm about it? And what about Harry? What if he pretended he didn't ignore him an entire school year? That would be so awkward. But it would also probably hurt less than watching him pretend he didn't remember him either.

So really, the uncertainty of how things would play out made it very hard to have a plan. Therefore he made up his mind that winging it would be the much better option. That way he couldn't be disappointed by things not taking place exactly the way he expected them to.

"Are you hungry, dear?" Nan had asked as she peeked her head in his bedroom.

Zayn was lying out in his bed and staring blankly at the ceiling. He faced her. "No ma'am. I'm not hungry. I think I'm just gonna go to bed."

She looked worriedly at him. "Are you okay? You've hardly come out of your room since you got here. Even Papa asked about you."

That put a smile on Zayn's face. Papa liked his time alone and he respected when others did too. So if he was asking why he hadn't seen someone in while, that was because he was truly worried for them.

"I'm okay, Nan. I promise. It's just that being on the lake gives me time to really think and I think I just got carried away. That's all."

She gave him a smile that reached her eyes. "Alright then, if you insist you're ready for bed, then I won't stop you. I'll see you in the morning, I guess." She told him.

"Yes, ma'am, you will."

Without asking him, she went on ahead and closed his bedroom door. He put his hands behind his head and he sighed to himself. Right then and there, he made up his mind that he was not going to let what he was feeling about Harry ruin his vacation with his grandparents. Because he wasn't just here for Harry. He was here for them too.

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
The next day when he woke up, it was around noon. His grandparents were sitting in the living room when he came in. Papa was trying to do a puzzle on the little table that had been placed in front of his chair while Nan was watching the weatherman on TV predict the forcast for the next seven days.

After greeting them, he went to the sliding door to peek outside at the lake for the first time. He was shocked to see Harry sitting out in a lawn chair on his dock the same way he did last year. Right away, anger filled inside of him all over again. He just looked at him and the way he was comfortably slouched in the chair and pecking away at his phone as if he hadn't kissed him and ditched him. Zayn thought he was so sweet when he had spent all that time with him over last summer but not so much anymore.

He decided to test his theory of being deliberately ignored. So he took out his cellphone and texted him.

**Hey, it's me. It's been a long time since I've heard from you.**

After he pressed send, he watched him from the window to see what he would do. He only put the phone down in his lap and shook his head.

Knowing that was an indication that he saw his text, it infuriated Zayn even more. So he sent another text.

**Yes. That's right. Ignore me. You just continue basking in the sun, why don't you? Get yourself a nice tan.**

Harry picked up the phone again and this time when he read the text, he sat up and looked around.

**Yes Harry. I'm here.**

He tossed his phone on the couch, opened the screen door and then walked outside barefoot and in his house shorts and T-shirt.

"How dare you?!" He yelled as he made his way in his direction.

Harry faced the voice and when he saw Zayn walking toward him, he stood up and in place. He couldn't believe he was here.

"How could you, Harry? I thought you were a good guy!"

"What?"

"You heard me!" He waited until he reached Harry's dock before continuing. "You were my first kiss! I wanted you to be my first kiss because I trusted you but that was a mistake!"

Harry scoffed and put his phone down in the lawn chair. "To no fault of mine! You chose what you wanted and it wasn't me!"

"What are you talking about? Don't put this on me! I tried to text you and call you multiple times and you looked at them just like you looked at the ones I just sent you and you ignored them! I would've liked it better if you just blocked me or changed your number and disconnected this one! At least it wouldn't have hurt so much!"

By now, Zayn had reached him.

"Yeah, I ignored them. Because you tried to make me look like a fool. You tried to embarrass me. When I said I liked you, I meant that. It wasn't a joke, Zayn."

Zayn scrunched up his face. "Huh? How did I make you look like a fool? How did I embarrass you? I didn't!"

"You did! You think it's funny to let me wake up alone outside? I expected you to be there. Or at least get me up when you got up. But you snuck off and didn't tell me. Plus you didn't even tell me what time you were leaving. I just happened to be walking out of the house to go see you and there you were, packing your things in the car to leave. You were going to leave without saying anything! And when I tried to hug you goodbye..." He shook his head and tighten his lips in anger. "You went for a handshake! You friend zoned me! Obviously what we shared the night before wasn't real. You didn't really want that and you made that clear with everything you did the very next day."

The way Harry listed all those things in a negative way as if he was so sure about his words had offended Zayn. "What? Are you kidding me? That wasn't me friend zoning you."

"Yes it was. You don't have to lie to me."

"No it wasn't! And stop calling me a liar!"

He pushed Harry without realizing it and Harry stumbled backwards off the dock. But as he was falling, he reached out to grab something. Since Zayn was the closest, he gripped his shirt and pulled him into the water with him.

Harry was the first to stand and when Zayn finally rose to his feet, he screamed and hit Harry in the chest. "See, if you had replied to my texts or answered my calls, this wouldn't have happened! And I didn't lie! I never friend zoned you! I just didn't want my father to know I had kissed you because I didn't feel like hearing him constantly warning me about boys during my entire senior year. And I left you lakeside because I didn't want my grandparents to find us out there together. Maybe your parents knew about you but my grandparents didn't and I wanted to keep it that way. It wasn't about you at all!"

He was struggling to wipe running water from his eyes so Harry reached forward and wiped his forehead to stop it at the source for a bit. But Zayn didn't want it and he smacked his hand away. "No! I don't need your help."

He wiped more water from his eyes and he felt Harry push his hair to the back of his head this time.

"I said quit touching me."

"Oh, stop it, Zayn. That's enough."

Harry had gripped his shoulders, so that Zayn would look up at him. When he saw him smiling down him, he scoffed in annoyance. "Do you really think you can just show those teeth and you'll be forgiven right away after nine months of pretending I didn't exist? Those big green eyes can't get me, I hope you know. I'm still mad at you for ignoring me because even if you did think I friend zoned you, that's no reason to ignore me. Talking it out would have proven otherwise but you wouldn't know that because you were being selfish."

"So then that means you still like me?"

"I did. Now I'm just annoyed and mad at you."

Harry chuckled and rubbed his shoulders up and down in a soothing manner. "You can quit pretending now."

"Pretending? I'm not pretending."

"Yes you are. You're pretending like both of us weren't wrong."

"I'm not pretending. I'm just saying what you did was worse."

"In what way, though? Because I only did what I did because you left me confused. If you had actually communicated with me in the first place that night when we spent all that time talking, I would have known your intentions and your reasons behind them and wouldn't have had to assume. But you didn't and so I had to guess and I was just as upset then as you are now. The only difference is that you weren't there to see it. But that doesn't make what you did any less hurtful just because you weren't there to witness the effects of it. And that's a fact."

Once Harry explained things that way, Zayn knew he could no longer go on continuing to assign most of the blame to him. So he huffed and pouted down at the water. "Why didn't you answer the phone? It felt like you used me."

Harry pulled him close and stroked his hair when he started to cry. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying make you feel like that and I didn't even think about the fact that it could when I made the decison. I should've taken that into consideration. But I do want you to forgive me."

Zayn looked up at him. He could see the seriousness in his face and he knew that he genuinely regretted what he did. "I do."

Harry was still curious. "And... does that mean it's still good that I was your first kiss then?"

He nodded.

Now he smiled widely. "Good because I'm still happy you wanted it to be me. There's just one thing."

"What?"

"Have you kissed anyone else since you kissed me?"

He lowered his head in embarrassment. He never even came close. "No."

"Oh."

"Have you?"

Harry looked up to the sky with a scrunched up face and Zayn chuckled.

"You have."

"But not seriously."

"It doesn't matter. You still did. But I don't care. We're not even together, really. We never were."

"Because we only had one day together and then you had to leave. That wasn't enough time to establish anything."

"Establish what though? Clearly there wasn't anything to establish after what happened over the nine months. Long distance wouldn't be good. Especially while we're both away at college. It's not good."

"What? You don't trust me?"

Zayn smiled. "Nope. Not yet. I don't know you enough to trust you like that. And I hope I'm not offending you by telling the truth."

"No, no. It's okay. I get it. I have to earn your trust. And I'm gonna try. That is, if you let me."

Zayn twisted his mouth sideways and paused in deep thought. "Well... Okay."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. But first, I wanna get out of the lake."

He looked around them with a light chuckle. "Oh. Yeah. Right."

Zayn turned out of his grip and headed for the bank. Harry was closely behind him. In fact, he was so close behind him that when he sat down at the bank to dry off a bit, Harry was right next to him. "Can I have some space?" He giggled out.

But he wasn't giggling anymore when Harry had just leaned in and kissed him. At first it was slow and sweet but then suddenly Harry had just opened his mouth with his own and stuck his tongue inside. It was the first time Zayn had ever been french kissed by anyone. So he gasped. Harry's tongue was so soft and warm but he didn't expect to be kissing anyone today, let alone Harry. So he went with the flow as Harry kissed him and when he stopped kissing him he just looked at him.

"You still don't kiss me back, I see."

"Because I didn't expect it. Plus that's the first time I've been kissed like that."

Harry nodded. "I know. You liked it?"

"Um... Yes?"

"Good. If you like it, that means one day you will kiss me back the same way."

Zayn blushed. Him? French kissing Harry? Oh dear, would he ever? _Could_ he ever? He was getting secondhand embarasssment just thinking about doing something like that to this boy.

He stood up from the ground and rung out his pants. "I'm going inside."

Harry looked up at him. "What?"

"I'm going in."

"But you're still wet."

"I know but... I don't want to wait to dry. I want to get dry now and put on some new clothes. Plus, I have to get something to eat. I haven't eaten anything yet."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry I pushed you in the water."

"That's okay. I'm sorry I pulled you in the water."

"You wouldn't have pulled me if I didn't push you so it's alright."

"Um... will I see you later?" He asked.

Zayn nodded as he turned to walk away. "Yes. But for now I have to go. I'll see you later."

"Yeah. You too."

When Zayn left, Harry himself got up and went inside. Gemma was there in the living room smiling at him. It annoyed him.

"What are you smiling at?"

"I saw you." She said.

"What?"

"I looked out the window saw you kissing Zayn."

"So?"

"So you were upset with him. You said he was playing with your feelings."

"I know. But that was before we talked. "It turns out that it was just a big misunderstanding."

"Whose misunderstanding? Yours or his?"

"Does it matter? Anyway, I don't have time for questions. I'm cold and wet as you can see."

She looked at him in surprise because she had just noticed it herself. "How are your clothes wet? Did you fall in?"

But instead of answering her, he chose to continue down the hallway to his bedroom. "That's none of your business."

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
Every day for the next three days, Harry sent Zayn a _good morning_ text. But after Zayn texted back, the conversation always stopped there. However on the fourth day when he sent it, it was accompanied with other words.

**Good Morning. Do you have any plans today?**

Zayn replied right away.

**Good morning. Nope. Just to stay inside and stay cool.**

**Have you eaten anything yet?"**

**No.**

**Me either. Let's go out and get something together.**

Zayn felt his heart race. Go out? Was that like a date? Were they even dating at all? Probably not. Not officially, at least.

**Sure. Now?**

**Yes, now.**

**Okay.**

He jumped up out of bed and quickly got dressed. By the time he was done and came out of the room, Harry was in the living room with his Nan and Papa.

"You two have fun." Nan told them.

"Yes ma'am. Do you need anything?"

"Just the fountain of youth if you happen to spot one."

Zayn chuckled. "I'll see what I can do."

They left and walked across the front lawn so that they could ride in Harry's car. Zayn was so nervous to be enclosed in that space with him again. It had been so long but things were even more weird now that they had to make up once already.

"I should probably tell you we're not going to eat alone." Harry said.

Zayn furrowed his brow at him.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm actually meeting my friends there and I wanted you to meet them."

Zayn felt like a stick had lodged in his chest. Was that jealousy? Not that Harry was only allowed to hang out with him but where did these _friends_ come from? Harry never spoke of any last summer. He was curious to know when and how he met them.

"Friends? You have friends now?"

Harry chuckled. "Yes. I have friends. I met them at college.

 _Oh._ That made sense. All of his questions were answered just like that.

"That's cool."

"It is. And I want you to meet them."

"Well, I don't have much of a choice since I'm in the car, now do I?"

"Yes you do. You can say no."

"Does that mean you'll immediately turn around and take me home?"

"No."

"So then I don't have a choice."

Harry reached over and gently pinched Zayn's chin between his fingers. He smiled when Zayn smiled. "You know... when I said I didn't have anyone my age around here, that didn't mean I didn't have friends. I did. All the constant contact with them just stopped when I graduated in the summer. I wasn't interested in remaining friends with people from highschool. I wanted to move on."

"I understand. It was similar with me too. I wasn't really friends with anyone. I only had phone numbers of two kids in the entire school and that came from having school projects with them and needing to stay in touch."

"But now you've got my number and it's not for any school project. So I'm special." Harry said proudly.

"Mhm. If you say so."

They rode for a few minutes before they finally pulled into the lot of a McDonald's. Honestly, Zayn was relieved it was this place instead of some really nice place. Meeting Harry's friends would be a lot easier to do in a casual atmosphere and a fast food restaurant would present that for him.

As soon as they walked into the building, Harry spotted his friends and waved to them. When they waved back, Zayn noticed there were three of them. And not just that, but he had a very diverse friend group. One of them was white, another was black and the other seemed like he may have been Latino. But that was just a guess.

They went up to the counter and ordered their food. Harry had gotten a hamburger and fries but Zayn got a chicken salad and an Oreo shake because the summer heat was not permitting him to eat anything hot and heavy right now. Once they got their order, they went over to where Harry's friends were sitting.

They were actually sitting in a rounded booth so all Harry and Zayn had to do was slide in. Zayn was so glad that Harry slid in first. Even though he was on the end and was exposed, he didn't want to be next to anybody but Harry.

"Arty was just about to text you, bro." The black guy said.

"Yeah, I know we're late. Sorry about that."

"So who's this with you?" The white guy asked, gesturing his head towards Zayn. "Someone new to our clan?"

"In a way, yes. Let me introduce you. Zayn, this is Maxwell." Harry said and he pointed to the white guy. "That's D'Angelo." The black guy raised his hand. "And this here, is Arty." Arty nodded his head.

"Nice to meet you guys. I'm Zayn."

D'Angelo gave Harry a look and Zayn noticed that all of them gave him the exact same look. That was so weird.

"Guys, chill. It's all good now." Harry told them as he began to unwrap his sandwich.

Wait. What was all good? And why did Zayn feel like he was being left out of the loop?

"Well, it's great to have you here. We heard about you before." De'Angelo said.

"You have?"

"Yeah. Harry used to talk about you sometime back. We never thought we would meet you because you live so far away."

"Oh. Yeah. An hour and a half away."

"Wow."

Zayn removed the top from his container of salad.

"Anyway, man. These guys call me Gelo for short and you're welcome to use it too."

"Thanks."

"Yeah. And everyone calls me Max. Please call me Max because I hate my full name. It sounds like the name of an annoyingly smart kid who's overly condescending and wears sweater vests all the time."

Zayn chuckled at that one. "Noted."

"And I don't have a nickname so just call me Arty." Arty said.

And hearing him speak gave away that Zayn was right. He did have a spanish accent. So he probably really was a Latino.

"Don't feel bad. I don't have a nickname either."

As he opened his silverware and tiny package of dressing, the table went quiet. For some reason, Zayn had the feeling that when Harry befriended these three, his name came up in the conversation in a negative way. Harry must've told them something offputting about him because the way they looked when Harry said his name seemed as if they couldn't believe he was actually here with him. The only thing that kept Zayn from being embarrassed to be sitting here now was that they seemed to want to be genuine friends of his once Harry said things were good. And if Harry's friends were trying and not judging then that was enough for him to move on and forgive Harry for what he had done.

"So I know you're college friends. But how exactly did you all meet?"

"Study group." Max said. Me and Gelo were already friends from highschool. Then we met Harry and invited him to study group. Arty is the last added. Arty is smart as hell. He actually showed us a better way to study than we had been doing before."

"That's cool. I'll be starting college next year. Maybe you can share what that better way is."

"Of course."

"Wait. You're starting college next year? Are you going to our school?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm going to college near me."

"Oh. So you're just here for the summer."

"Right."

Everyone looked at Harry again, but Harry casually put an arm around Zayn's waist. "But there will be things for us to do and enjoy before he goes back so it's okay. I'm not worried."

Arty chuckled and spoke in a warning tone. "Alright, then, H. It's on you."

Zayn frowned and poured the dressing over his salad. It was obvious they were talking about him for sure now. But he didn't want to say anything. He knew he had kissed Harry and then tried to leave him without telling him. Of course they were cautious about him. They were his friends. And it didn't exactly help that they now knew he was going to leave at the end of the summer.

Again.


	5. 2nd Summer: Snakes

Zayn huffed before opening the sliding door and making his way to the dock where his grandparents were sitting in their lawn chairs. It was ten in the morning and he was up earlier than usual so they must've gotten up quite early to come out here.

"Nan. Papa." He said.

They both had on sun hats and Nan looked up at him from under hers.

"Yes, darling?"

"You decided to come outside pretty early, didn't you?"

"Yes, before the midday sun arrives. We can't take that heat anymore. We'll mess around and have a heat stroke and die out here."

"And I don't want that." He said.

"Me either."

Papa fidgeted in his chair. "I'm gonna have to start bringing a cushion to sit on. This chair gets more uncomfortable everyday."

"Do you want me to get you a pillow from the house?" Zayn offered.

"No, no. It's fine. I'll get it next time."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay." Zayn folded his arms. "Nan."

"Yes?"

"Is it okay if I go into town alone today?"

"Of course. You're an adult, arent you?"

Well, he was eighteen, so technically he was. "Yes."

"Then I think you are allowed to go into town alone."

He smiled. "Thank you."

"But be careful. Just because you're an adult, that should not make you careless."

He nodded. "Yes Ma'am. I'm gonna leave in an hour then."

"Alright."

As Zayn fixed himself fruit and oatmeal for breakfast, he thought about his destination today. When he had gone out with Harry's friends and met them the other day, the topic of having a summer party had come up. They joked about Harry convincing his boss to let him bring liquor to the party. Of course it was only a joke but that had been the way Zayn found out that he worked at the liquor store.

When their meal was over and Zayn and Harry got in the car to go home, Zayn had asked him about his job. He was pleased to know that after a good talk with his mother, she allowed him to have the job he wanted. Even though Harry had kept it secret till then, he was so excited to tell him and it made Zayn excited to see him so excited. And since Harry could see that he truly was happy for him, he called him this morning and asked him to come sit with him for a while. At first, Zayn was a bit skeptical about it because of all the alcohol he would be surrounded by, but after Harry convinced him that it was fine, he agreed to go.

After he finished eating, he put the address to Harry's workplace in the GPS and let it guide him there. Ten minutes later, he pulled up to a shopping center on the edge of town. The liquor store was on the end. Once he parked his car, he went inside and immediately saw Harry standing behind the counter.

"Took you long enough."

"It did, didn't it?"

"What took you so long?"

"I had to eat breakfast first."

"Breakfast? It's lunchtime."

"But it was my first meal of the day and it was breakfast for me, so..."

"Alright. Sure. Whatever you say."

Zayn leaned on the counter and he thought it was so cute that he quickly let him have his way so that they didn't have to argue over something as small as that. "So why'd you ask me to come here?"

He smiled. "Just so I can enjoy your company."

"You're lonely?"

"No. Not lonely. Just wanted to enjoy your company. Plus I know you'd just be sitting at home with nothing to do anyway."

"Mhm. So... you expect me to stand here and watch you work for the next few hours?"

"No. Of course not. I'm gonna get you a stool so you can _sit_ and watch me for the next few hours."

Zayn laughed as Harry stood up. What a clever boy. Or man. Because Harry was 19 now.

"Be right back."

"Okay."

Zayn let him go and then turned around from the counter. He was having a hard time understanding where they were right now but he liked that Harry was picking up where they left off last summer. So far, there was that amazing kiss, then there was Harry taking him to meet his friends and eating with an arm draped around him. Now it was him wanting Zayn to observe him doing something he was proud of doing. What did those things mean? He wish he knew.

Harry came from behind the counter and sat the stool down. "There. You can sit right there on the opposite end of the counter where the customers pay."

Zayn sat down. "But what if the customers don't want me on the opposite end of the counter where they pay?"

"Then that's too bad."

"Is it too bad if your boss doesn't want me on the opposite end of the counter where your customers pay?"

Harry waited until he was all the way behind the counter before he responded. "Zayn."

"What? You took too long to respond so I assume he doesn't know."

"Actually, I talked to my boss this morning. I can assure you that you will not be shooed away."

"You're positive?"

"One hundred percent."

"Hmm."

Just then, the door opened and in walked a man. He came right on over to them.

"Excuse me. Where would I find your bottles of Brandy?"

Harry piped up. "They're on the aisle directly behind you. If you go around that way, it's on the left side on the bottom shelf."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

As he went in search of the Brandy, Zayn looked at Harry in amazment. "You started working here two weeks after I left, huh?"

"Yep."

"And I can tell. You can now direct people where to find what they're looking for without even getting up to show them."

"In the begining it was quite frustrating to remember where everything was but after I finally got the hang of it, it was a breeze."

"That's really good."

They stopped talking so the man would not assume they did more talking than working. Then after five minutes of browsing the same shelf, he finally came up to the counter with his choice bottle of Brandy. After paying for it and having it bagged, he looked between Zayn and Harry.

"Wow. Is all of the staff here really young?"

"No sir. There are people much older than us who work here too." Harry said.

"Oh. Okay." He tucked the bag under his arm and smiled warmly. "Well, you two have a good day, then."

"Same to you. Come back and see us."

"Okay."

When he left, Zayn rested his chin in the palm of his hand and sighed. "There is no music playing. I don't know how you do it. It's so boring here."

"Well, we do have have music playlists but the system has been broken for a week now. Lonny needs a new one."

"Lonny?"

"That's my boss' name."

"Oh. Pshh. Well, now I know why you asked me to come here. You're bored."

"Not just that. I like looking at you too."

"Why do you say that?"

Harry got up from the stool and reached for a black bag behind him. "Because it's the truth. Want one? I've got two more in here."

Zayn noticed he'd taken out a packaged chewy granola bar. "No. And is that supposed to be your lunch?"

"Yes."

"That's an awful lunch."

"I know. I didn't have time to get anything good, so I grabbed these from home."

"And you can eat on the clock?"

"Yes, if I'm the only one here. Which, I am today. Plus I'm only working five hours so I'm just gonna snack. If I was working six, then a thirty minute lunch would be mandatory and I would've gotten something better to eat."

"Oh. I see."

Instead of sitting right back down, Harry leaned forward and positioned his face right across from Zayn.

"It's not against the rules to kiss me on the job, you know." He said as he opened his chewy bar.

"That's a lie."

"Who says?"

"Every rule book on professionalism in the workplace."

"Come on. I'm going out of town next week and I'll be gone for three weeks. You should be soaking this up as much as you can while you can."

"No I should not. I should keep doing exactly what I'm doing."

Harry grinned but it was the sort of grin that meant he knew he couldn't get away with anything with Zayn. So he leaned forward and pecked Zayn's lips softly.

"Oops. Did I just break the rule?"

As Harry smirked at him and ate a chunk of the bar, Zayn just had to look away. Even with everything else that had happened since he returned this summer, this was truly the first time he'd gotten those butterflies. He loved so much the way that Harry gave them to him when he did little things like now when he'd only looked at him and accompanied it with that amazing smile of his. Maybe Zayn was wrong all along. Maybe those big green eyes really did get him. And there was nothing wrong with that.

 

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
"You never really told me how things were going there. You can't just call me one time out of three weeks and tell me all was well without telling me why you were so sad but anxious to go there in the first place."

"I told you last week already, daddy. I came here to visit Nan and Papa."

"Do you really expect me to believe that's the only reason? Do you think your father was born yesterday and that he doesn't know you at all?"

He chuckled. "No. I know you do. But that is why."

"So this is not about a boy? One of them is not grabbing your attention while you're up there?"

He frowned. "No."

He knew he was lying but he wasn't ready to tell him. Even without him saying anything about kissing Harry when he went home last summer, his father still sat him down one day and had a long talk with him about safe sex. It was so awkward talking to him about that and if Yaser had chosen to talk to him even without knowing about Harry, Zayn could imagine what things would be like if he did tell him. Especially now that he was starting college where he would be exposed to the pressure of having sex more often.

"Alright, Zayn. If you say so."

There was a silence before his father spoke again.

"I'm going to be sending you money in a few days so keep an eye on your bank account. There will be a little extra in there because I want you to take your grandparents out to dinner."

Zayn hesitated. "Thanks but... I don't know if you'll need to send extra for that."

"Why not?"

"Because Papa doesn't eat out anymore. He only likes Nan's food."

"Really?"

"Yes. Aparently four years ago he and Nan were invited to someone else's house and the food was too salty. After that, he made up his mind he wasn't going to eat over anybody else's house or eat anybody else's cooking but Nan's."

"And he told you that?"

"Yep."

"Wow, I did not know that. Your mother's side of the family was always the weirdest, I tell ya."

Zayn chuckled but immediately saddened. "I miss her, sometimes."

"I know. I miss her too."

"I always think about her and how she always wanted me to go to college. She would be proud of me now."

"She sure would. I remember when there were days that she would even lose sleep and then the next morning I would ask her why she was tossing and turning all night. She'd tell me it was because she was worried that we weren't saving enough money for you to go to college. She always thought we were spending it on frivolous things."

"Yeah, I definitely believe that. She was a worrier. I guess it's good that she doesn't have to do that anymore at least."

"Yes. That's very true."

Zayn sat up on the couch and sighed. "I'd better go get some sleep. Papa and Nan have been in bed for a couple hours now and left me with the TV."

"Me too. I have to go to work in the morning. Goodnight then. Look for that money on Wednesday."

"I will. Goodnight."

 

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
"But Papa, I promise you, it will be delicious and I doubt the restaurant will put too much salt in the food."

"I've already made up my mind, son. I'm not going anywhere else to eat."

"But it's my treat for you. It might be good to get out for a change."

But Papa frowned at him. "The answer is no and it will always be no. I haven't eaten out in four years and I don't care what anybody says. Not even you will get me to go. Do you understand?"

Zayn just stood and looked at him, then finally stormed down the hallway to his room. When his door slammed closed, Nana huffed.

"You know better than that. Your grandson wanted to take you out for dinner as a gift. The least you could do was go for him."

But Papa wouldn't budge. "Absolutely not. I don't think so."

"Not even once for him?"

"Nope."

"Why are you being so selfish?"

"I'm not. I am an old man. Too much salt could raise my blood pressure through the roof and kill me."

"Yeah, well, I think that's just an excuse for you not wanting to go anywhere anymore."

"No it's not. I'm just telling you and him the truth. If you don't like it, then I'm not sure what to tell you."

She glowered at him and got up from her chair.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere else not here. You need some time alone to think about how you have disappointed your grandchild."

He huffed when she said those words but made no effort to apologize. He had no plans to either. He felt that he had every right to say no. And nothing could change his mind.

Meanwhile, Zayn was in the room listening in. He thought that Nan leaving the living room meant she was coming to his room to talk to him and apologize for Papa. But he was glad that she didn't because he didn't want to see anyone right now. So he lay in bed sadly, but not once shedding a tear.

He had told his father it would be like this. He didn't know why he even bothered. His Papa was set in his ways now. Not even Zayn could change them.

 

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
Today, Zayn's aunt had come by to do the shopping for the month. Unlike last summer when all four of them would go, it was just he and his aunt this time.

"Zayn, I'm so thankful that you volunteered to come up for the summer again. It's been so nice getting a break off and on and I can spend the summer getting some things done at home now. I may not be married or have children but I'm still a very busy woman."

"You're welcome."

"But you know, next summer, you may not have to do that anymore."

He frowned. "Why? What do you mean?"

"Because I'm selling my house. I'm gonna move in with them so that I can take care of them twenty four seven. Since I'm the only child left now that your mother has passed, I'm responsible for taking care of them and I want to be there with them while I do that. I can tell they don't have many years left now. And honestly, Mama shouldn't be cooking anymore."

"But then what would Papa eat? You know he only like's Nan's cooking."

She chuckled. "I know. But he tolerates my cooking too though. So that's good."

"Oh. That is good. And I guess moving there might actually be a good idea then."

"Yeah. I just want Mama to stop getting angry every time I bring it up. You don't know this but she always says that I tell her what to do. I really don't though. I'm just watching out for her safety like any concerned child would."

Zayn put his hands behind his back as they walked. "Maybe she does know that but she doesn't want to be reminded that she's getting old."

"Oh, I'm sure. They're both like that. So stubborn. I just have to be patient."

He nodded. "Yeah. I've definitely seen a lot of their stubbornness lately. Especially with Papa."

She looked worriedly at him. "Oh dear. Is it too much?"

He shook his head. "No ma'am. It's not too much."

"And you're sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, alright. But you have my number, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Then call me if you need anything. I mean anything. I'm still right here and I have not left you alone. I'm just trying not to smother you all summer since technically it's a vacation for you."

He nodded. "I know."

"But do you really? Because last summer you did not call me at all. If it wasn't for me having a calender of when to get their bills paid, take them shopping or to a doctor's appointment or just checking in on them period, then I wouldn't have seen them or you for three months."

He chuckled. "Because I didn't need anything then. Just like I haven't needed anything so far. Everything is fine."

She looked skeptically at him. "Well alright. But don't hesitate, okay?"

"Okay."

They continued on shopping and Zayn couldn't help but fast forward to next year. If he decided to return again in the summer, he could be staying with three people instead of two. Could he deal with that? He didn't know. But his mind was telling him no.

 

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
"And that there, is the snake that Willie caught. Well... ran over on the way back to the cabin."

Zayn chuckled. Currently, he and Harry were outside on Harry's dock and Harry was showing him pictures from their three week vacation in the mountains. Harry's legs were stretched out straight but Zayn was sitting with his legs across Harry's legs and Harry's free hand was resting on his lower back.

"So you guys stopped the car in the street to take a picture of a snake you ran over?"

"Yes. But we also wrapped it up in a plastic bag we had in the car and took it to the cabin. Willie knows all about snakes and shit. So he skinned it, cooked it and we ate it for dinner that night."

Zayn scrunched up his face. "Ew, you ate it?"

"Yeah."

"How did it taste?"

He thought for a moment. "That's not the first time I've eaten snake and I can tell you it's hard to explain. When people say everything tastes like chicken, they're not lying about this. Except it's kinda fishy as well."

"Yuck."

"Nope. Not yuck. Yum."

"Yuck." He repeated.

But Harry had lightly spanked him for being so persistent, although he couldn't get his whole palm on Zayn's bottom due to the way he was sitting. When Zayn looked at him quietly and shyly, Harry pushed his hand up the back of his shirt and rubbed his back.

"And this is Gemma up in a tree. Ma kept telling her to get down but she wouldn't listen. Disobedient as usual."

"Did you climb a tree?"

"No. I wasn't interested in that."

"What did you do, then?"

"Besides when we all went tubing, nothing much. I slept a lot. Oh, and I texted you good morning everyday when I remembered to."

Zayn laughed. "Yes. You did do that."

"Also, the place we went tubing at has a little shop that sells surf boards and they were all beautiful. There's no place to surf nearby but most people drive two hours from there to surf in the ocean so they make good money selling them."

"I bet."

Harry had turned off the screen on his phone and sat the phone down next to him on the dock. "But all in all, I liked our beach vacation last year much better. I'm always up for an oportunity to swim but I didn't really get that in the forest. And I missed you, so..."

Zayn giggled when Harry wrapped both arms around him and pulled him close. Then he paused.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked when he noticed he had gotten quiet.

"Who did you kiss while I was away?"

Harry cleared his throat. "You're not supposed to ask that, you know."

"But I want to know."

"Why?"

"Why won't you tell me? Do you have something to hide?"

"No. Because when I kissed who I kissed, it was when I was under the impression that I had been friend zoned by you."

"Okay then. So who was it?"

He chuckled. "I'm not naming them. Especially since it was a one time thing."

"Then don't name them. Just tell me if it was a boy or girl."

"Why does that matter?"

"Cause I want to know."

"You mean you want to start an argument."

"No. I just want to know."

Knowing Zayn would not give up, Harry finally gave in. "It was a girl. But it was also nothing. So don't sweat it."

Don't sweat it? He just didn't know he was far from sweating it. For some reason, Zayn was actually relieved that it was a girl. The idea that Harry may have kissed another boy and liked it would be worse to him. He would much rather not be competing with another male because with a female, he knew exactly what he lacked when compared to them.

"Well, that's okay, I think. I mean... we can't even be a real couple anyway."

"Why not?"

Zayn was searching for the words. "Well... Because... you know- the whole long distance thing."

"Yes, but you said I had to earn your trust, didn't you?"

"Yeah but..."

"So that's what I'm trying to do."

"I know you are but don't you see how it's not fair?"

"What's not fair?"

"Being far away from each other."

"Who is it not fair for?"

"Both of us. Because we're so young and we both wanna get into things. You more so than me, I'm sure. And I don't want to stop you from that. I don't want you to feel restricted. If there's someone you're attracted to, I would much rather you go after them freely than feel you have to wait for me. Because if I do come back, it'll only be in the summer like it has been."

Harry looked at him frantically. "If? What do you mean if? I thought you were coming back next summer."

He shrugged. "I don't know. I thought so too. But I talked to my aunt and she's gonna try to move in with my grandparents by next summer. I don't know if I want to be here with three other people in the house. That's too many people. I start working with my dad when I start school this summer and then he'll let me have my summer months off for vacation. At least, that was the plan. But I may stay home and just work through the summer months too so I can earn more money."

Harry poked his lips out. "That's not fair."

"Yes it is. That's why I say it's better to agree that I could be yours for this summer and you be mine. But after this summer ends, no promises and we have to move on as if we didn't make any promises to each other."

"You mean as if we broke up or something?" Harry asked with obvious frustration in his voice.

"Sort of."

But he shook his head. "No. I don't want that."

"Yes you do. You're only saying you don't now because I'm sitting here in your lap. But what happens when I'm an hour and a half away and you want some company? You'll still want it and you'll go get it but it won't be me you're getting it from."

"In other words, you're saying you think I'll cheat."

"You will."

Harry turned away from him and Zayn looked down sadly. "I'm not trying to accuse you of something you haven't done yet but I'm-"

"Yet. Which means you believe it's inevitable and technically, you are accusing me ahead of time. You know you can say that's not what you're doing but you are. I don't know what's giving you these ideas but I don't only want to be yours for the summer for the sake of being free when you're away. I want to actually date you and be loyal to you."

When Zayn heard those words, he balled his hand into a fist and pressed his thumb nuckle to his gut. Now was not the time for those stupid butterflies to show up. He was trying to have a serious conversation.

"I want the same with you."

"Then give it a try."

"But things don't always work out."

"So why bother trying to plan things out at all if you know that?"

"For precautionary measures. That way nobody gets hurt."

"According to you because you're only thinking about yourself. But I'll be hurt the day you leave here and I know you're not mine for the next nine months. I'm not gonna like the feeling. I just know it."

Zayn had never seen Harry look so sincere in his expression and he couldn't bear looking at him any longer so he tried to turn away. But Harry grasped his chin and made him face him. Then he kissed him hard.

It shocked Zayn, but he really liked the idea of kissing him like this, so he still put forth effort to try and kiss him back, even if he was a bit sloppy. Harry gripped his neck and held him in place to gain even more leverage. When he was done, he pulled Zayn onto him.

"Will you at least consider changing your mind until then?"

He sighed. Harry just asked him nicely but why did it seem like he still didn't actually give him much of a choice? That kiss felt so much more like an order than a plea. And Zayn, though not afraid of him in any way, didn't really want to challange that.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

Zayn lay against him and looked out toward the water. If only that beautiful glistening water could wash his worries away. Then everything would be okay. And then the time spent wondering if his heart would eventually be broken by Harry while he was away at college wouldn't even exist at all.


	6. 2nd Summer: Party

"I don't know what I was thinking but I'm not trying to get in a habit of letting you talk me into going places I'm not familiar with."

Harry chuckled and then reached over to the passenger side and squeezed Zayn's thigh. "Oh, come on, Z."

"What did you call me?"

He hesitated. "Um... Z? What's wrong with that?"

Zayn shook his head with a grin. "Nothing. It's just that was the first time in my entire life that I've been called that. No one has ever given me any kind of nickname before."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"I know."

"Well now you have one given by me."

"And your friends already call you H so I can't really give you one."

"Yeah, but you can give me something they can't give me."

"What?"

"A pet name."

Zayn nodded with a soft laugh. "True." He also wondered if Harry had one for him because he surely hadn't heard it yet if he did. "But back to the topic on hand. I'm nervous about going to a party full of college kids. I haven't even started my freshman year yet and you're already exposing me to this."

"Yes. So you can let loose a little bit. You really need it."

"I do?"

"Definitely. Plus you'll get to experience it so you'll know what to expect when you're invited to one of these parties once you start college."

"I'll probably turn down the invite and not go though."

"Then that's an even bigger reason to go tonight then. So you'll at least get one in."

He shrugged. That was terrible reasoning but if that made _some_ sense to him then he figured trying to get out of this one wasn't something he'd try to do just yet.

"Did you tell your parents you were going to a party?"

"No."

"So you lied to them?"

"I didn't say that. I said I didn't tell them I was going to a party."

"What did you tell them then?"

"I told them I was going to hang out with some friends and that I was bringing you along."

"So you picked your words carefully."

"And you?"

"I told my grandparents I was going out with you. So I didn't have to lie either. It helps that they're old and trust me to go alone simply because I'm an adult."

Harry was thinking on that. "Okay, when you say going out with me, does that mean..."

"No. I wasn't telling them I was going on a date with you."

"So they still don't know?"

"No. But only because I haven't said anything and they haven't seen me kiss you yet. Not because I'm hiding. I've decided not to do that anymore."

"What made you change your mind?"

"They won't be around much longer. And I don't want to spend the time they have left hiding from them. It doesn't seem right to do that."

"That's a good reason, Z."

He nodded. "Yeah."

Just minutes later after that conversation, they finally arrived at a huge house out in the suburbs. Cars were already parked outside along the street and Zayn couldn't believe so many were on the grass. That was an automatic sign that the owners of the house could not have been home because no way would they allow a bunch of college students to destroy their front yard like this. Since there was no room for Harry to park close to the house, he had to park around the block and they got out and walked.

As they came up closer to the house, Harry noticed Zayn lagging and also holding his hands and arms close to himself as if he were bracing himself for something. So he stopped and turned all the way around to face him.

"Are you alright, Z?"

He shrugged. "I'm nervous. I've never been to a college party and it just feels like trouble."

"Trouble?"

"Yes. Trouble. You know how college kids get. At least the ones I've seen on TV. I don't want to go to jail. I'm not built for that."

Harry smiled and then put his hands on the sides of Zayn's face. "Whoa. Are you really that scared?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to go home, then?"

He thought for a moment then sighed. "No. Because then I would be ruining your fun and you were looking forward to this."

"But I won't stay if you don't want to. Plus, we don't have to go home. We can just go somewhere and hang out together."

But he shook his head. "No, no. It's okay. Let's go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He took Harrys hands from his face and walked past him and ahead of him. "Come on, let's go."

Harry caught up with him and then grabbed his hand. "Just stay close to me tonight then, okay?"

"Sure." And honestly Harry didn't need to say that. Zayn had plans to do that anyway.

They got up to the door, which was already wide open and went on inside. Right away, the smell of alcohol hit him in the nose and music was blasting into his ears. He was also expecting this house to be a way to escape the heat, but it was actually very warm because of the amount of bodies crammed into the space. Harry pulled him through the crowd until they came to an entrance to the kitchen.

"Why are we in here?" Zayn asked.

"For drinks."

"Drinks?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna grab us a couple beers."

When Zayn heard that, he yanked him back into him. "What, Harry?"

"What?"

"We're not old enough to drink."

"Neither are half the people at this party."

"But just because they're doing it, it doesn't mean we have to too."

"I'm not doing it because they're doing it. I'm doing it because I want to. Besides, it's not my first time drinking so it's too late to police me."

Zayn gasped. "What?"

"Zayn..." He huffed. "Why don't you wait outside the kitchen."

"But-"

"Zayn. I'll be back in like thirty seconds. Please just wait out there."

"Fine." He did as he asked and went just outside the kitchen where he folded his arms and leaned against the wall. He couldn't help but think about what Harry told him before he went back home last summer. He said that his father drank a lot and that's why his mother was worried about him getting a job at the liquor store. Maybe Zayn didn't know much about his father and had no place to speak on it but drinking at parties could lead to bad habits like the ones his father had. And Zayn didn't want to stand by and watch it happen.

After a couple minutes of leaning against the wall, he began to realize that Harry was still not back. Where could he be and what was he doing? Did he already forget about him? Wondering if the latter had happened, he decided to go in search of him. After lightly pushing some people out of his way, he discovered Harry still in the kitchen, but he was pinned against the wall and counter by some girl in a crop top and mini skirt. At first Zayn was upset that they were so close. But the closer he looked, he could see Harry actually looked like he was trying to get away, but the two open beers in his hands were preventing him from pushing her out of the way.

He walked over to them and cleared his throat. "Excuse, me?"

She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "No. I don't want your number. Nor will I give you mine. So go away."

"Actually," Harry said and he was able to safely duck under her arm and get away from her now. "He came looking for me."

"You?"

"Yes. This is my boyfriend, Zayn."

Zayn looked at him in surprise just as she gasped.

"Oh... so when you said you were into boys too, you were serious about that? I thought you were just telling me anything to get rid of me."

"No. I was serious about that. That's why I wanted to tell you upfront. So that you weren't suprised later after we'd already..." He glanced at Zayn. "You know."

"But... when you kissed me."

"That wasn't fake. I was actaully into you. Well, until you left after I told you that. Then I wasn't."

She smiled. "Not because I hate it though. I think you being into two genders is kinda hot. But like I said, I thought you were trying to get rid of me. Now I know you weren't."

He shrugged. "It's too late though. But you look nice, I guess."

Feeling offended, she looked at Zayn and rolled her eyes. She didn't even say anything as she turned away.

"Wow." Zayn said.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

Harry smiled and then held a beer out to Zayn. "Here."

He shook his head. "No. I don't want that."

"Even just to taste?"

He shook his head again.

"Okay, but I'm still gonna bring it just in case. You might change your mind. Come on. Let's go find the living room."

The living room was far less hard to find considering how big and spacious it was. And they had come just in time too because there was enough space on the couch for them sit together. Once they had sat down, Harry put Zayn's beer down on the table and drank from his own.

"That's good to you?" Zayn asked.

He chuckled. "Yeah. It is. And if you stop being a good boy long enough, you'll see that too."

"I always thought beer was an acquired taste."

"It is. And I have acquired it."

"After how many tries?"

Harry put the bottle up to his mouth and held it there. "A few. Why?"

Zayn looked down sadly and shook his head. "Nothing. Just asking."

He felt Harry put an arm around him and pull him onto him. "Cheer up, Z. Enjoy the party. It's alright."

Enjoy the party? Well, he wanted to. But this really wasn't Zayn's cup of tea. If this was what he had to attend in order to gain college friends, then he already knew he wouldn't have any college friends any time soon.

"H!"

"Gelo!"

Harry put his beer down so he could dap D'Angelo.

"I must've missed you. How long have you been here?"

"Just got here."

"Oh. Nice. What's up, Zayn?"

"Nothing."

D'Angelo chuckled. "What's wrong?"

"He's not much of a party goer." Harry said.

"Or a beer drinker either, I see." He gestured to the untouched beer bottle.

"Nope."

"Aye, let me have this seat." D'Angelo said to somone who was sitting on the end of the couch adjacent to Zayn and Harry.

"Whatever, I'm leaving anyway." The guy got up and left and D'Angelo took his place.

"Yo, they're playing Spin the Bottle out in the backyard and it's wild. I'm talking about girls full on kissing girls and shit. I know it's not foreign to you but when it landed on a guy for me, I immediately quit and came inside."

Harry laughed and picked up his beer again. "Oh, come on, Gelo. Go back out there and get one in."

"No, man. Stop playing."

That actually made Zayn laugh. He wasn't offended by that. In fact, he found it funny because he'd react the same way if that bottle had landed on one of the girls there.

"Is Max here?"

He shook his head. "No. He and Arty are hanging out."

"Wow. Max never misses a party."

"I know right. Arty's lameness must've gotten to him for the night."

"If only mine had gotten to Harry. Then we wouldn't be here right now." Zayn said.

He pushed his lips out but Harry had kissed him and stopped his pout. "You're being a difficult boyfriend tonight and it's cute."

Zayn looked at him in surprise. Once again, Harry had used that B word. The sound of it made him feel so funny in his stomach. But he liked it. Clearly those were the butterflies.

"You know what seeing you two makes me wanna do?" D'Angelo asked.

"What?"

"Go find a girl who'll give me a relationship like yours."

Harry shook his head. "That'll never happen. If it does, we'll all look up to the sky and see pigs flying."

D'Angelo laughed. "I'm for real though. I actually do want to settle down one day."

"Just not now."

"Who says?"

"Your willing participation in spin the bottle where you knew you'd be kissing and getting handsy with multiple girls says that."

"Whoa. Hold on now. Let's not only see the negative aspect of that. The way I see it is you've gotta start somewhere, right?"

He shook his head in amusement. "Sure, man."

Harry and D'Angelo sat and talked together for a while and Zayn sat quietly and listened. After a short while, Zayn started to get hot, so he complained out loud. D'angelo offered to get him something cold to drink since his beer had gotten hot by then. Silly of Zayn to think he would bring water because he instead came back with another open bottle of cold beer. He also handed Harry his second one and had one for himself.

Annoyed by the amount of liquor at this party, he went ahead and drank some of it anyway. At first he turned his nose up at the taste but it actually wasn't even nasty after he had swallowed it.

"Not so bad, is it?" Harry asked.

"Um... no."

"See?"

Zayn looked at the bottle skeptically. Something was oddly refreshing about this and not just because he was hot and it was cold. Maybe he could drink this. And he did because the more he sat there both bored and hot, the more he mindlessly sipped on it. Soon, the entire bottle was empty on the table. Since it was Zayn's first taste of alcohol ever, it was plenty enough to get him loose. Nowhere near drunk but definitely loose.

"This music is too loud, Harry."

Harry looked beside him. "Not really. This is pretty normal for a party."

"Not to me."

"Because you don't usually party. If you attend a few of them, you get used to it."

"Can we go outside?"

He chuckled and so did D'Angelo. "What do you want to do outside?"

"Get away from the speakers and all these musty people. I need fresh air."

Harry sat up on the couch. "Alright. Sure. We can go outside. I'm gonna get another beer though."

"A third one?"

"Relax, Zayn."

Harry got up and left him there and Zayn sat in thought. When D'Angelo noticed his demeanor, he stood up and pat his shoulder. "You'd better convince him to give you the keys before you guys leave."

"Yeah. Looks like it. Sadly."

"Hey... It's alright. At least you are here for him. It's better that he'll have someone to drive him home instead of driving drunk, right?"

"True."

"I'll be by the pool when you guys come out."

"Okay."

When Harry finally, returned. He took Zayn's hand and led him outside. Zayn felt bad that they were leaving their empty bottles on the table but he didn't really have time to grab them. When they got outside, Zayn could see that the Spin the Bottle game was still going on. There looked to be twenty people playing and Zayn had never seen so many people playing it at one time before.

"If you're looking for D'Angelo, he said he would be by the pool. But I think he's on the other side."

"I'm not looking for him."

"You're not?"

"Nope."

They reached a lounge chair near the pool and Harry put his beer down next to it. After he sat back in the chair and lay back, he pat his lap. "Come on. Have a seat."

"Harry."

"What? I want you to lie down with me and give me kisses."

That made Zayn laugh quietly. "You do, huh?"

"Of course. You keep saying we're only each other's for the summer. I'm trying to change your mind but just in case, I should get all I can, right?"

That really captured Zayn's attention. Harry was already two and a half beers in so he was just saying whatever came to mind while speaking the truth in the process. To know that having him full term and not just as a 3 month rental was on his mind even now made him feel special. And he finally did lie down next to him and situated himself comfortably in Harry's waiting arms.

"Feels like the very first night we kissed. Except we're not wet." Harry had mumbled to him and he rubbed their noses together.

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Very much like it. But you think maybe you'll kiss me back this time?"

"Maybe."

Harry leaned over and reached for his bottle of beer. Then he sat up briefly so he could drink the rest of it down. When it was all gone, he sat back again. "You know, those things are really good. The most I ever drank was four. So not bad."

"But not tonight, right?"

"What do you mean?"

Zayn sat up and climbed over Harry, resting his knees on both sides of Harry's body so that he was in his lap. "I mean you're not gonna drink anymore tonight?"

"Why not?"

"Harry, look at you."

"No, look at you. Sitting in my lap like a proper boyfriend and all. And by the way, be easy. I'm not drunk, babe."

_Babe._

"How can I be easy? Maybe you're not sloppy drunk but you just had three beers in succession which means you're over the limit considered legal to drive and I'll have to drive you home. So that's definitely intoxicated."

Harry looked up at him with those glassy eyes and smiled. Then he pushed his hands up Zayn's shirt. "You're cute."

"I'm even cuter when you haven't had three beers."

Harry appreciated his tiny bit of bragging and pulled him down onto him. He kissed him hard in the mouth and that took Zayn completely. He could taste and smell the alcohol and he knew that was probably the main reason Harry had become more flirty and touchy-feely the more the night progressed. Even if that one beer had only gotten Zayn a little more loose, kisses like these might fully intoxicate him to the point that not even he might be able to drive them home.

They kissed for such a long time until Harry stopped, reached between his legs and cupped his own crotch. "Fuck... I'm so hard." He moaned.

Zayn looked down to get a peek and that's when it came to his attention that he was just as hard. "Oh, no." He gasped out and in an effort to hide them, moved upwards.

Harry tapped Zayn on the bottom with a laugh. "No. Don't. Actually, with you sitting on it, that just makes it worse."

"Oh."

"Want to get rid of these though?"

Zayn thought for a moment. "Um... Yeah... But I don't want anybody to see this. It's embarrassing."

"And it'll be even more embarrassing if something happens right here, if you know what I'm saying."

"Yeah."

"So come on. Stand up."

Zayn did stand up, but he stood facing away from everyone. Harry took his hand and started to walk ahead of him. "Just walk behind me. I'll hide you."

"And who will hide you?"

"Nobody. And I don't really care either."

Leaving another empty bottle behind, they walked past the pool and that ongoing game of Spin the Bottle now with some new members added and old ones gone. Zayn wasn't sure where they were going but he soon found out when he passed everyone in the house and went down the hallway. They passed the bathroom and Harry reached for a handle on a room door. But it was locked from the inside which meant it must've been occupied. So he continued on. In a hurry to just get relief, Harry automatically went to the next room where the light was off and closed the door behind them and locked it. When he turned on the light, he saw a computer and printer on a really nice desk, which had a fancy office chair pushed up to it. So he knew he was in the office. He spotted a futon on the far wall and sat down on it.

"Zayn. Come here."

Zayn walked over to him and was embarrassed when he couldn't take his eyes off of Harry's dick poking at his pants.

"Are you scared?"

"Nervous."

"Then just tell me what you want to do or how you want to do this. I asked you outside but if you change your mind, I'll change mine too."

"You will?" He asked shyly and he appreciated so much how Harry managed to be calm about this despite the three beers.

"Absolutely."

But he shook his head. "No. It's okay. I just don't really want to rush into my first time. That's all."

"Sure. I respect that. But you still want relief from that, right?" He asked, gesturing to Zayn's bulge.

"Yes." He said shyly.

"Me too. Here. Sit next to me."

Zayn sat next to him and right away, Harry engaged him in a gentle kiss. Even when he was pushing Zayn back on the futon and pulling his legs up so he could get between them, he was still kissing him the same way. And Zayn was pretty sure he was right. They had kissed each other so much tonight that he might already be intoxicated.

Once he kissed him, Harry just looked down at him and pushed his hair back with one hand and then undid his belt, button and zipper to his jeans with the other. "It's okay. We won't do that. But I'm still gonna ask you to lift your hips a bit for me. Okay?"

He lifted them and Harry was able to pull his pants and underwear from his waist to his ankles, then all the way off, forcing his shoes to come off without even untying them.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes. It's just this futon doesn't belong to us but I'm naked on it. And what if we get caught in here?"

"Earlier when we were talking, D'Angelo said the guy's parents are gone for a week. We'll be long gone by then. And the door is locked so no one is gonna walk in on us."

"Mmm. Yeah."

Harry smiled, then suddenly frowned.

"What?"

"We need something." He got up and started to look around the desk and then through the drawers. He found a small travel sized bottle of hand lotion and grabbed it. After opening it to make sure it wasn't scented, he came back over to Zayn and crawled between his legs again.

"Just gonna use my hand." He said and he squirted lotion into his hand and began to rub it with his palm up and down the shaft of Zayn's dick. Zayn shivered and Harry smiled smugly as he tucked the lotion bottle between Zayn's hip and the back of the futon. Zayn had been relatively patient and good tonight. He didn't mind rewarding him with the type of relief he was most comfortable with.

In a steady motion, he went up and down, making sure to be very careful. The last thing he wanted to do was go fast right away and scare Zayn. Especially since he was already watching his hand carefully as if it were some sort of torturing device being used on him.

Just a moment later, he could see Zayn relaxing at his touch. Finally, he was beginning to see just how great something like this really was.

Zayn groaned and then raised his head to look around.

"Are you alright?"

"What about you?" Zayn asked.

"What about me?"

"It's not just gonna be me, is it?"

He was slow about responding. "Well, you're nervous, so I wasn't going to do it all at once, but if you want us both to do it together..."

"Yes." He quickly answered. Because to Zayn, it would be embarrassing if he just lay there and let Harry do it to him.

"Okay."

Zayn sat up awkwardly and reached forward. He didn't really know how he was going to do it but he did know it was so difficult to reach forward and try to undo Harry's jeans and belt.

Harry chuckled at him a little. "Need some help?"

"A little." He said shyly.

With one hand, propping himself up, he started to undo his belt and jeans. Instead of pulling them down and off like he did for Zayn, he just pulled his dick out and over the opening.

He let out a guttural moan at the feeling of being free before resuming what he was doing to Zayn.

Nervously, Zayn retrieved the lotion bottle Harry had put next to him earlier and squirted a little bit of the lotion in the palm of one of his hands. Then he just leaned forward, wrapped his palm around the shaft and started with a back and forth motion.

Because he was concentrating on not being the only one, Zayn nearly forgot that the whole idea of doing this was to pleasure each other. But he remembered when he felt Harry graze over his head with his palm in a circular motion.

He leaned back and the back of his head hit the arm of the futon kind of hard but he didn't care. It just felt so good. And this was his first time having it done too. When he looked up, Harry was smiling proudly at him.

"You like it?"

"Shut up." He sort of laughed out, but Harry had kissed him and didn't stop.

Now whimpering underneath him, Zayn went back to what he was doing. That's when he knew doing this together was a good idea because then he could just do whatever Harry was doing. If doing what Harry was doing was making him feel good, could he not do the same for Harry? He should. And he found out that he could when Harry looked down at his hand with a light gasp and shaky breath.

"Oh shit, Z."

Even if Harry was making him weak, Zayn was trying his best not to stop. The end goal was to have an orgasm and he sort of wanted to do that together. However, his body had different plans. Just a little longer and he couldn't take it anymore. He moaned heavily and then the next thing he knew, he was having his first orgasm.

As it was ripping through him, he really wondered why he didn't ever try this by himself. Why was he such a good boy all those years? He was missing out on something so wonderful. This was so pleasurable and satisfying that he didn't even know what to do with himself.

This time, Zayn did stop completely, but since his hand was still wrapped around Harry, Harry just took advantage of it and fucked into it. It wasn't long before he came and he relaxed as he spurted onto Zayn's shirt and partly onto the futon between Zayn's legs.

"Oh shit." He giggled out, still getting the last of it out. "That was fucking amazing."

Zayn smiled sheepishly. "It was?"

"It was. Wasn't it?"

He nodded and Harry just leaned down to engage him in yet another kiss. As they kissed, Zayn could still taste the alcohol on his breath. He had almost forgot that Harry drank three beers before this.

"Are you ready?"

"Ready for what?"

"To go out there?"

Zayn panicked. "No. I'm not. Look at me. It's all over me."

"That's okay. I'll hide you again."

"No." Zayn panicked and he gripped Harry's shirt.

"What?"

"I don't want to. Let's wait."

"Wait?"

"Yeah. Until most of everyone else is gone then we'll leave."

After studying him a bit, Harry finally relaxed and lay down next to him. "Okay then. I guess we'll wait. Plus, this gives us a good oportunity to talk about what what we just did means for us anyway."

"What it means? What does it mean?"

"I don't know. But maybe it'll contribute to you not being so bent on ending this relationship before you start your freshman year."

Zayn chuckled. "You keep talking like you know me so well. You keep talking like a long distance relationship is worth it for me."

"Well, I wouldn't really refer to it as long distance. It's only an hour and a half, right?"

"That still presents opportunities to be unfaithful though. Just like you drank three beers and got handsy before pulling me into a room, you could do that with anyone when I'm not here."

"But I wouldn't."

Zayn chuckled lightly. "Sure..."

Harry had then kissed him one last time, so slow and gentle, and then draped and arm around him to hold him close. His plan to keep him as his was still in full force. But Zayn was not going to make a decision until he had to. He had a few weeks. So why not take his time about deciding anyway?

➡️➡️➡️

When Zayn woke up the next morning, he was so uncomfortable. And not just that, but his his lower half was freezing.

He opened his eyes to pull the covers over him when he realized he didn't have any covers. Only Harry's body draped over him. He gasped and shook Harry awake when he realized where they were.

"Harry."

"Huh?"

"Wake up."

"What?"

"We stayed over."

"What?"

Zayn scoffed and got up from underneath him so he could quickly put on his pants. Harry finally sat up and then after blinking, began to realize where they were.

"Oh man... My parents are going to be so mad."

"How did we fall asleep?"

"I don't know... We were talking and we just kind of did, I guess."

Zayn frowned. "Because of you. If you hadn't drank so much, when I fell asleep, you could've have woke me."

Harry returned his frown. "I don't think so. I'm not letting you blame me. And I didn't drink too much. It was literally just three beers."

"And three is more than enough for someone who isn't even legal to drink yet."

"Did you or did you not drink a beer last night?"

"Only one."

"And is that one beer also not more than enough for someone who isn't even legal to drink yet?"

Zayn quieted down and mumbled. "Well maybe if this party had water, I wouldn't have."

Harry chuckled. "You're something, babe."

Zayn just looked at him. He still hated that they fell asleep in an unknown house but he loved to hear Harry call him that. It softened him right up.

Once they both had gotten dressed and showed themselves presentable, Harry put his finger to his mouth to shush Zayn. "We're going to try to sneak out of here. Okay?"

When Zayn nodded, Harry took his hand and he led him to the door. After putting his ear to it and not hearing anything, he opened it. It did squeak a little but not loud enough to wake anyone who wasn't already awake.

They tiptoed quietly down the hallway. When they passed the bathroom, they realized somone was already awake in the house. It was another young college student, but she didn't even notice them because she had her head down in the toilet and was puking over in it. So they scooted on past undetected.

Only a couple others were still there when they went through the house so they assumed most drove home drunk or called a car service. Zayn hoped it was the latter. Especially for D'Angelo because Harry would be devastated if anything ever happened to him.

The second they got in the car, Zayn leaned against the door quietly. The last thing he ever expected to do was leave his grandparents home alone all night to do something as irresponsible as wild partying and illegal drinking. If his father knew about this, he would be so disappointed in him.

When he arrived at his grandparents house, the door was still locked, so he had to use the key his Aunt gave him to get in. He expected to be able to just slip in without being seen but when he opened the door, he was surprised to see his Nan. He stood frozen in the doorway.

"Whoa, there. Zayn?" Nan said and she smiled big at him. "I thought you were still asleep."

"Um... well... I- I-"

Harry gently pushed Zayn further inside so that he didn't have to explain himself or lie to her. "I'm sorry. He was with me. It's my fault. But I did return him home safely to you."

Nan smiled even bigger at him and the wrinkles by her eyes were deeper than normal. "Thank you, Harry."

Zayn looked her funny. That was the first time she ever remembered his name.

"Would you like to stay for breakfast this morning?"

"Um..."

He looked at Zayn who was still looking at her funny. He knew he'd be lectured by his parents the second he walked through those doors. Delaying that might be a good idea. "Sure. I don't mind."

"Good."

She walked on past them into the kitchen and Zayn whispered to Harry. "Well, I guess you're lucky you don't have white stains all over you like me or else sitting down for breakfast would be quite the experience for you."

"Yeah."

"Well I'm going go get cleaned up. I'll also find an extra toothbrush so you can at least brush your teeth."

"Thanks, Z. I appreciate it."

Zayn scurried off to his bedroom and pulled out a whole new set of everything. Then after taking that to the bathroom, he began his search. It took a few minutes but he finally found an unopened pack of toothbrushes in the cabinet underneath the sink. Just as he stood to his feet. He heard Harry yell his name in panic.

"Zayn!"

He rushed out towards the kitchen and stopped when he saw Harry holding his hands out to his grandmother as if he were steadying her.

"Harry? What happened?"

"Your grandmother. She was walking and just lost her balance. She almost fell but I cought her before she did."

Zayn rushed over to her and he too began to put a hand on her back and shoulder to steady her. "Are you alright, Nan?"

"Yes, Yes. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Because I can call Auntie."

"No, I'm fine. I know I am. Just tripped over my own feet is all."

But when Zayn looked at Harry, he could see him shaking his head and mouthing _"no she didn't."_

So he sighed sadly at her. Maybe his Aunt was right. His grandparents shouldn't be alone. And thank goodness that he did come home when he did. There was no telling what injuries might have occurred if he had actually come back home last night and was still sleeping in bed right now. Or even worse, if he had still been halfnaked on a futon in a house he was sure its owners would never willingly welcome him in.

➡️➡️➡️

"And you will use that cane, right, Nan?"

Nan put a hand to the side of Zayn's face. "I will try to remember to grab it every time I get up. But you know that I didn't want a cane. I keep telling you both I don't need it but you insist."

"Yes you do, mom." Zayn's Aunt said. "What Zayn told me, scared me to death."

Nan frowned at her. "You just want me to be handicapped to death. I don't need you to watch over me. Neither does your father."

Zayn's Aunt sighed. "Whether you like it or not, you do need someone here. I just want to make sure you're safe. That's all."

Zayn felt like there might be an argument soon, so he looked at his father pleadingly. Yaser knew exactly what to do. He put his hand to the doorknob and opened it.

"Well, we better get back. It's not exactly a short drive."

"Oh yes, yes."

They all walked outside, with Nan following behind on her cane. Yaser had already packed Zayn's things in and expected his son to be getting in beside him, but instead, he was walking over to Harry who was crossing the grass over into their driveway.

"Well, this is already different from last time. You did at least text me that you were about to leave." Harry said with a slight smile on his face.

"I did." Zayn giggled.

"Will I see you next summer?"

"I don't know. I hope so."

"Me too."

Harry sighed, then held his hand out to Zayn for him to shake. "See you then, I guess?"

But Zayn laughed before throwing his arms up around Harry's neck and kissing him fervently. It caught him by surprise but he still rested his hands on Zayn's waist and kissed back. When they were done, Harry looked at him questionably.

"Whoa. Okay so... what does that mean? Does that mean we're still on and you're not doing a break up for the school year thing?"

"Yep."

"You're serious?"

"Mhm. I'll give it a try. I swear though. You better be good."

"Same to you."

"I will be good." He laughed out. "I've literally experienced my first everything with you so far. So I'm not going to go trying anything. You on the other hand... You kissed a girl last time. Remember?"

"Because she was hot."

"Harry."

"I'm kidding. But honestly, to make this long distance thing work, that means you've gotta keep your phone on a lot."

"I do?"

"Yes. For emergency reasons."

"Like?"

Harry scrunched his face. "You're cute."

"Hello, Harry."

Harry took his hands from around Zayn and put them behind his back when he saw Yaser coming over to them. "Mr. Malik, sir... it's good to see you... again."

"Good to see you too. I also see things have changed."

"What? They have?"

"Yes. I don't remember Zayn kissing you goodbye last time."

Harry tightened his lips. "Oh... Right... well see, um, well- We're not like... It was really just-"

"Harry's my boyfriend now, daddy."

Yaser looked at his son and still held his smile. "As I would've guessed. How long?"

"Just this summer."

"Oh. That's nice. Does this mean you expect to visit us sometimes?"

Harry and Zayn looked between each other. "I don't know, sir. I'm busy with college and work so I'll have to see what days will be available."

"What do you do for work?"

"I work at a liquor store."

"Ah, a liquor store. You're not drinking yet, are you?"

"Daddy."

"What?"

"It's time to go."

"What?"

"It's time to go. Now."

"But..."

"No." He spun him around and nudged his father to the car. When they got in the car, Yaser pointed at him.

"You can try to get me to ignore it but I won't. Your mother wouldn't have ignored it."

"That's not what I'm trying to do. It's just that we're about to try dating from a distance and I don't need anything that might make it easier to turn him off. Especially you questioning him like he's committed a crime or something."

"Well, I'm sorry. I just have to ask those questions if you're going to be kissing him like that in the near future. You're my son and this is a shock. Sort of..."

"Sort of? What does that mean?"

They pulled off towards the street.

"I'm your father, Zayn. I'm always going to be shocked when you actually start to date. But at the same time, I've been there before. So I knew that things had actually changed between you and Harry last summer."

Zayn sank down in his seat when he heard that. "Oh. You knew?"

"Of course I knew."

"Are you mad?"

"No. I'm not mad. I know you know what safe sex is so I'm not worried."

Zayn cringed. "Just so you know, we haven't slept together. And he hasn't even asked me about it or tried to pressure me either."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

"But you do plan on coming back next summer?"

"Yes."

He smiled. "Well then if things change then, I'm still very confident that you will know what safe sex is."

Zayn didn't even have time to be embarrassed because his phone had buzzed in his pocket. He took it out to check the notification and saw it was from Harry.

**Your dad is actually pretty cool.**

Zayn scoffed at that message but still smiled as he sent a reply.

**Thanks.**


	7. 3rd Summer: Family

"Okay. Yes. I understand."

"But if you want anything to eat-"

"No. No. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep!"

Zayn's Aunt chuckled. "I think you're just eager to get out there to that boy we saw you kiss last summer. So you're trying to lose me."

"Well..."

She chuckled. "It's okay. Go on, Zayn."

He rushed to the back door but when he went outside, he slid it shut quietly, then he tiptoed across the grass and out to him. Harry was sat in the lawn chair near the end of the dock. But he noticed that this time Gemma was swimming in the lake. When she saw him, she stood up in surprise but Zayn held a finger to his mouth to shush her and she smiled before watching him silently.

Harry was so busy looking at his phone that he didn't see or hear anything, so when Zayn reached over his shoulders and hugged him from behind, he gasped.

"Hi."

Harry turned in surprise. "Zayn! You're here? You said you wouldn't be here until tomorrow."

"I lied."

Harry smiled and then stood up in a hurry so he could hug him. Zayn hugged him back but he was very surprised to be picked up and spun around like he was in some romance movie.

"Whoa. You really are happy to see me."

"Of course. I missed you, babe."

"He really did." Gemma said and she swam over to the dock so she could rest her elbows and arms on it. "He talks about you a lot. Like... a lot." She said as she drug out the last word.

"Um... Gemma. Go away."

"Why?"

"Harry, don't be mean." Zayn said.

"What?"

"Stop. Don't be mean."

"It's okay." Gemma chuckled. "He's just embarrassed to say how much he really likes you."

Zayn kissed his cheek and Gemma smiled. "Do you like orange soda icecream floats, Zayn?"

He nodded. "I do."

"Okay. I'll go get cleaned up and then we can all go inside and have one, if you want."

"Wow, that's really thoughtful, Gemma. I would like that."

"Okay. Let me go take a quick shower first." She got out of the water and after drying herself off, she scurried inside.

"That was very sweet of Gemma to offer that."

Harry went and sat back down and Zayn volunteered himself to sit in his lap. "Yeah. She's been really hyped about graduating this year so... she's been generous with everything."

"Ah, Interesting."

"I see you let your beard grow out."

"You like it?"

"Of course. But your boyfriend only grows scruff for a beard so he has to shave his. I'm sorry about that."

"I like your scruff though. And at least the hair on your head is getting so long."

"That's true." He reached out and pulled Zayn into his arms tightly. "I missed you. It feels like I haven't seen you in forever."

"You visited for Christmas."

"I know."

"And we did FaceTime a lot."

"But FaceTime isn't the same because it isn't face-to-face in person and if we're not face-to-face in person then that means we're not mouth to mouth either."

"Is all you can think about is kissing me?"

"Yes. Because the last time I kissed you was four months ago after spending Christmas with you. And you haven't once tried to kiss me on the lips yet today.

Zayn hummed. "I thought when I kissed your cheek earlier, that would satisfy you for the time being."

"Uh, I was a good man and a loyal boyfriend the whole time you were away. I deserve more than that."

"Loyal boyfriend? Yes. Good? No."

Harry chuckled. "Are you still on about what we did."

"Yes. Doing that at all already makes me self conscious to the environment around me but you almost got me caught by my father. As if you haven't destroyed my innocence already."

Harry ran his fingers through Zayn's hair. "I'm sorry. I told you I did not know your dad would decide to come home so early that day. And by the way, you destroyed your own innocence. Innocent people don't talk like that over the phone."

Zayn raised his brow to show he was unimpressed. "But you started it."

"True. But then after that, I finished you too, didn't I? Actually, I wasn't there with you so technically you finished yourself but it was still me who turned you on-"

"Stop."

Zayn got up from his lap. "Let's get one thing clear. There will be none of that while I'm here. No midnight phone calls, no dirty talking and no sending me naughty pictures."

"Sure."

"I mean it. Because if I get caught here doing that, I may never get to come back again and there will be no more face-to-face."

"I understand."

Zayn studied him for a moment.

"I said I get it. Come here." He reached out and pulled Zayn towards him, but not in his lap. He put an arm around his waist and smiled at him. "What are we going to do this summer?"

"I don't know. Possibly a lot of sleeping. I feel like I hardly got any sleep over the last eight and a half months. College is actually quite a pain in the ass."

That made Harry giggle. "Yes. It is. But you got through your first year. So it's not all too bad. And it helps when you can look forward to seeing me."

Zayn scoffed. "Don't be a narcissist. What if I said the same thing about you?"

"Then you wouldn't be wrong. Because I really was looking so forward to seeing you."

Zayn went quiet and then pulled out of Harry's grip so he could stand at the edge of the dock. He had spent the whole school year thinking about Harry. He just remembered being very intrigued that Harry wasn't afraid to come over and start a conversation with him, despite not knowing him.

Two years later though, he had things on his mind about Harry. But the main thing was why Harry liked him. To Zayn, he wasn't really anything special. He was kind of quiet and really only spoke when spoken to or asked questions first. Sometimes he could be a bit of a party pooper too because he was all about being obedient and good and law abiding. On top of that, he was the most indecisive person he knew and that was just him being honest. So why did Harry really like him so much and why was he always looking forward to seeing him the way he was? He thought about that a lot. But he was afraid to ask.

"Are you alright, Zayn?"

Zayn put his hands in his jean pockets and looked back at him. "Uh, huh. Just enjoying my view. I used to be worried about coming out here but I really love the lake. It's beautiful. Makes it easy to get lost in your thoughts."

When he faced the lake again, Harry frowned at his back. For him to suddenly walk away from him and go quiet was strange. It was also very telling that something was on his mind.

So he stood up and went over to him. "Something you want to tell me?"

Zayn shook his head but didn't look at him. "No."

"And that's a fact?"

Now he looked at him. "Why are you interrogating me?"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. You're treating me like a criminal."

Harry chuckled at his comparison, then put an arm around him. "Sorry, babe. You just made me worry when you got quiet like that. That's all."

Instead of saying anything to that, Zayn smiled and leaned onto him. He had just seen Harry in person for the first time in four months. No way was he going to ruin their reunion by bringing up the things he had been thinking about. In time he'd ask. That is when he finally worked up the courage to do so.

➡️➡️➡️

  
Currently, Zayn was outside an arena and standing next to Gemma and Harry. A redheaded girl had just come over and embraced Gemma on the sidewalk.

"I wanted to come over and hug you before the ceremony but Mrs. Austin was in a hurry to get everybody lined up and I couldn't." The redhead said.

"That's okay." Gemma said. Then she turned to Zayn and Harry. "Obviously you know my big headed brother, but you should meet his boyfriend, Zayn."

"Ooh, handsome."

"And mine." Harry added.

"Oh relax." The girl said and she held her hand out to Zayn. "Hi. I'm Liz. And no my full name is not Elizabeth. My full name really is Liz."

He shook her hand with a smile. "Nice to meet you. Also, thank you for the compliment. You look nice, yourself. At least your makeup and shoes do. The cap and gown kinda covers the rest."

She cheesed. "Thanks."

"So what are your plans, Liz?"

"Dinner with my family."

"Me too."

She playfully poked out her lip. "Wish we could go together but I know we can't so we have to say goodbye."

"We can video chat tonight if you want."

"Definitely."

They hugged each other again and then Liz scurried off across the lot."

"Where's mom and dad?" Gemma asked.

"Already in the car waiting for you."

"Oh."

The three of them went to the lot as well and found Anne and Willie inside the car. Once they made it to the car and got in, they all headed to the restaurant they were to be dining at tonight.

* * *

  
"It's unfortunate that we weren't really friends the first few weeks you were here because you didn't get to see me at my graduation." Harry told Zayn when the five of them were at the table and waiting on the servers to bring their food.

"Why is that unfortunate, exactly?"

"Because I was so fucking good looking and you missed it."

"Um, Harry. I heard you." Wille said and he gave him a warning look. "What did we say about using profanity at the dinner table?"

Harry drew to himself. "Sorry, Willie. It slipped out."

Willie went back to talking to Anne and Gemma while Harry returned his attention to Zayn.

"But anyway though. You missed a good sight."

"Sure I did." Zayn replied.

"You did."

Zayn shook his head and sat back in the chair. "Thanks for inviting me along with you, Anne and Willie. I didn't think it was appropriate for me to be here but it feels nice that you wanted me here. Sorry I didn't bring a suit on vacation."

Anne grinned at him. "Of course, Zayn. We've known you for two years now and we love having you around. As for your clothes, don't worry about that. When Harry graduated, he brought a change of clothes and got out of that suit as soon as the ceremony ended."

Zayn faced him. "Oh really? I thought you looked so good in it?"

"I did. Just because I didn't want to wear it all night, that doesn't mean I wasn't good looking in it."

For some reason, that even made Anne laugh. "Oh, Zayn. I don't know how you're putting up with him."

"By just looking at him without saying a word when he says stuff like that."

Harry leaned forward and pecked his lips, causing Zayn to smile and turn slightly red in the face.

"Aw. Cute." Gemma commented.

"He tries to be." Zayn said nonchalantly. But in his head he knew that Harry had succeeded.

For the rest of the night, they talked over a delicious meal and had a really good time. Zayn hadn't really branched out and made a friend at college or at his job with his father just yet so it was nice to have this type of association for a change. He really loved Harry's family. And he hoped there were more good times with them to come.

➡️➡️➡️

  
"I told you that thing makes me irritated."

"I know, mama. But it's doctors order. We don't want you to fall and get hurt."

"Well, that's not the way I see it. You just want to smother me because you think I'm old and handicapped. You don't want me to cook. You don't want me cleaning too much. I've been doing this for eighty years. This feels like prison."

"It isn't."

"It is. And I don't know why you're insistent on being here. We both were fine living apart."

Zayn's Aunt sighed. "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way but I'm not backing down because I really care for you. So we're going to bring the cane while we shop today." She went and got the cane, then put it next to Nan's hand. She took it from her daughter but she was not happy at all.

"Dad, are you ready?"

"I guess." He answered grumpily. He stood up from the chair and she came over to help walk him to the door.

"Zayn, are you coming with us?"

He shook his head.  "No. I'll probably stay here and relax a bit. But I'll help you walk them to the car."

"That would be very helpful. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

He walked with Nan while his aunt walked with Papa and once his grandparents were in the car, Zayn got her attention with a question.

"Are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"Taking care of Nan and Papa seems to really be stressing you out. I've only been here a few weeks this lsummer but... I can see it."

She smiled warmly at him and then rubbed her thumb softly over his cheek. "Don't worry. I'll be alright. It's nothing I can't handle. You just enjoy your summer. Okay?"

He nodded and then watched her get in the car and start up the engine. As the car went on down the driveway, he folded his arms. Not giving up was the only thing keeping Nan going. As long as she felt like there was something for her to do then it gave her reason to continue on living. However, things were already so different with her. Unlike two years ago, he could see traces of her giving up now. And if that was really what she was starting to do, then he feared that this would be the beginning of a short journey to her ending.

➡️➡️➡️

  
"So... where are you and your family going on vacation this year?" Zayn asked Harry. Right now they were sitting on the lake bank and leaning against each other. It was nighttime and they'd eaten dinner with their own families and then met outside.

"Back to the resort on the beach."

"Ooh. Very nice."

"I know. I really liked it there so I suggested we go back."

Zayn sat up and looked at him now. "Do you ever wonder when your last annual family vacation like that will be?"

Harry hummed. "Not at the moment. But it is definitely going to end one day. Probably once I'm settled."

"Settled?"

"Yeah. When I move out and away and maybe get married or something. I don't know."

That caught Zayn by surprise. "Interesting."

"Yep."

Zayn looked across the lake but faced Harry when he stood up.

"You know you haven't gotten into the water with me since you've been here this summer, right?"

"Yes. I know that."

"Why don't we change that tonight?"

"What? You want me to go inside and put on swimming trunks just so I can get in the lake with you? I don't feel like it. If I go in the house, I'm staying in."

Harry smiled and then removed his shirt over his head. "I said nothing about swimming trunks."

"Okay..."

Harry took off his shoes and socks and then pulled down his pants and underwear in one go.

Zayn gasped. "Harry." He said.

"What?"

He blocked his view of Harry's lower half and then looked back toward their houses. "Why would you do that?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Yes it was obvious but Zayn was sort of hoping it wasn't true. "If you want me to go skinny dipping with you, then I think you're crazy. And honestly, you need to cover up before someone looks out here and sees you like that."

Harry laughed. "Why are you blocking me like you don't already know what I look like naked?"

"Because I want to."

"Well I think it's funny because we both know that you're not as innocent as you used to be."

"They don't know that. And I'm trying to keep it that way."

"You can if you get naked with me and get in the water."

"What?"

"They won't know. Boys always swim with their shirts off so they'll think we're just in our underwear or something."

Zayn finally put his hand down and looked at him. "Not if you keep standing there naked, they won't."

"And I will continue to stand here naked until you agree to get in."

Zayn sighed and then looked around once more. "How long do you plan to stay in there?"

"Not all night. Just enough to enjoy it and then after that, we'll get out, get dressed and go inside. This is just for fun."

Zayn stood up to his feet. It was weird to be sitting on the ground with Harrys dick just inches from his face.

"A large part of me doesn't believe you. We tend to end up doing something much different than what you say."

"How?"

"Remember that college party last year?"

Harry smiled. "I didn't tell you what we would do there though. So that doesn't count."

"You also didn't mention we'd be giving each other hand jobs and end up spending the night in somebody's office either, did you?

"Because I didn't want to ruin the surprise."

Zayn stopped himself from laughing as he pulled his shirt over his head. Then he began taking off his shoes. "Yeah, well, you can just stop your jokes right there. Because no dirty stuff like that is going to be happening tonight."

"Really?"

"Really."

"And what if it did?"

"It won't."

"But let's say it did. What then?"

Zayn stood up straight and took his time answering. "Then after my orgasm is over, you'd better hope you're at least thirty feet away, because I will get you."

He got out of his shorts and underwear at the same time and then walked towards the water, completely naked. But Harry just smiled before running to catch up with him and encasing him in his arms. He pulled him close so that their naked bodies were flesh against each other's and put his lips to his ear.

"Looks like I'll get to enjoy seeing how fast I can run away, then, won't I?"

➡️➡️➡️

  
"How is it there?"

"Great."

"And Harry?"

"He's good too."

"Good, good. Any plans to do anything fun yet?"

"No. I've stayed around the house more this summer. Plus Nan and Papa aren't looking too good and I'm worried about going too many places."

"What do you mean? Your Aunt is there."

"Yes. I know, daddy. And that's the thing. Nan doesn't want her daughter there so these days she just sulks and never wants to do anything. And because of it, Papa is getting really grumpy too. He's not so good because he's worrying about her."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So what do we do?"

"I'm not sure. I don't want to be intrusive and try to take care of them myself when your Aunt knows what she's doing. I guess I could ask her if she needs anything. If she does, I can send it."

"Well, you can try." Zayn said sadly. "But I don't think she'll say yes. I've offered many times but she keeps telling me to focus on my vacation so I don't get stressed."

His father was silent. "Hmm, I guess there's nothing I can say to that. It's sweet that she doesn't want to mess up your summer vacation. But I'll tell you what. I wouldn't ask her about it anymore."

"You wouldn't?"

"Nope. I would just do some things on my own anyway. And by that, I only mean things that can't harm them or get you in trouble."

"You mean like cook a meal?"

"Sure. That's a great idea."

Zayn perked up. "And I know what I can make. You taught me how to make your half chicken recipe last year. Everyone will love that for sure."

"Good choice."

"And then maybe I'll make that banana bread Nan taught me how to make. It was so tasty."

"That sounds good."

He sat down on the edge of his bed. "Then I will. I'll do it next week."

"Let me know how it goes."

"I will."

Zayn could hear talking in the background and then his father's attention wasn't on him anymore. He waited patiently until Yaser acknowledged him again.

"Hey, son."

"Yeah?"

"Work is asking for me. So I guess my lunch break is over."

"Oh."

"We'll talk again soon. Enjoy yourself but behave yourself too."

"I will. Love you, daddy."

"Love you too. Goodbye."

"Bye."

When the line disconnected, he got up,  grabbed some paper and a pen and begin jotting down items he would need for that meal. This was something he had never done before and he was absolutely looking forward to it.

➡️➡️➡️

  
"You really didn't have to do this, Zayn. Honestly."

Zayn had taken the chicken out of the oven and sat it down on the stove. "Oh, I know." Zayn told his aunt. "But my dad and I talked about this a week ago. I wanted to do something that would make things a little bit easier on you. I'm really worried about the way things are going with Nan and Papa. It isn't looking too good."

She sighed sadly. "That's very sweet of you. And I know it isn't. That's why I'm trying to take care of them so that they enjoy the time they have left with me."

"And you're doing great. But you still do need a break every now and then."

"But not when it takes you away from your own life. I don't think you've seen Harry in a week and a half."

He smiled. "I'll see him when he gets back. He's taking me to the carnival with his friends."

"When he get's back?"

"Yeah. He's on vacation with his family."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. They go every year in the summer for three weeks."

"Wow. Must be nice."

"I know right. And he's going to a resort on the beach. I can't swim so I don't envy that aspect of it but he says there's tons of stuff to enjoy at the resort besides swimming and the view is amazing. He sent me a picture of what the ocean looks like from his hotel window a couple days ago. It's a beautiful blue."

"Lovely."

"Mhm."

"So anyway, about you and Harry. What does Yaser think about it?"

Zayn stirred the pot of corn. "What do you mean?"

"I mean does he like Harry?"

He nodded. "Yes. He does. Although a big part of me thinks that he doesn't really want to get into it. I don't think he's comfortable talking to me about dating partners so it's a good thing he only ever had one child and it turned out to be me."

"So he hasn't given you the talk yet?"

"Just two summers ago." Zayn laughed. "And it was literally the first time ever."

She laughed too. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Wow. That sounds like him though. Your mother used to say that she worried he would be too lenient with you because he was so hesitant about talking about that kind of stuff. Maybe that was actually good for you."

"Maybe so."

Zayn turned off the burner and then put a pan of banana bread batter into the oven. Once he set a timer, he looked at her. "Dinner is ready and hot. I'll let that bake for fifty minutes so it'll be hot and fresh by the time we finish eating dinner."

"Yum. I'll go get them from outside."

As she went outside to get his grandparents from the dock, Zayn set the table and put everything on plates for them so that it would be less they would have to worry about. The way he saw it, it should be a night to cater to them completely. Even though he hadn't started to get close to his mother's parents until he came the very first summer, he still cared about them and wanted to do something very nice for them.

Over dinner, Zayn and his Aunt both decided that it would be best not to tell them who actually cooked the meal. They had spent the entire time outside and it was better to not take credit. The whole idea was to watch Nan and Papa enjoy themselves while eating delicious food so that their spirits could be uplifted. By the end of the meal and endless compliments later, they were sure they had done just that. Nan had one of the brightest smiles they had ever seen and even Papa was happy.

"I've eaten so much, it's time to sleep." Papa said.

"Me too, darling." Nan added.

"Well go right on ahead. Both of you. I'll get the dishes."

"You don't have to." Zayn said. "I'm in no hurry to go to bed. I'll get them."

But she leaned over and whispered to him. "After you've just cooked this entire meal by yourself? I don't think so. You go have a seat in the living room and rest. I appreciate what you did and this is how I want to show my appreciation."

"But-"

"No. Go rest. I mean it."

Knowing he wouldn't be able to change her mind, he thanked her for her offer. When he noticed Nan beginning to walk away from the table without her cane, he called out to her.

"Nan."

"Yes?"

When he showed her the cane, she looked at it and chuckled. "Oh. Thank you."

When she took it from him without fuss, Zayn and his Aunt faced each other with a look of surprise on their faces. That was definitely a sign that the meal had done what it was supposed to do. It had uplifted her spirits and perhaps even her outlook for the time being.


	8. 3rd Summer: Photo Booth

Carnivals were not really Zayn's thing. There were always so many people walking and bumping into him without apologizing and on top of that, there was constant spitting and throwing up on the ground. He went a couple times as a boy but he never liked anything except the corndogs and funnel cakes. He didn't ever ride rollercoasters and no one could ever get him in the fun houses either. He was a fun killer ever since he was a young boy.

But things were a little bit different now that he was actually with his peers. Not that they were pressuring him into doing anything he wasn't comfortable with but he did feel that he should make more of an effort not to be so dull so he wouldn't ruin Harry's night with his friends.

That's why he did choose to ride a couple rollercoasters tonight and why he did go into the fun house despite being terrified. He was glad it was over more than he was happy he did it. But at least Harry was happy. That was what he wanted.

He felt Harry grasp his arm and pull him a little so that he stopped.

"Zayn, look. A photo booth."

"Hm?"

"A photo booth. You wanna go in it?"

"Um... sure. Why not? I've never been in one before."

"Max." Harry called out and his friends were now aware they stopped.

"What's up?"

"Me and Zayn are gonna split off from the group for while. "You guys can go on."

He wiggled his brows at them but Harry shook his head. "Not like that. We're going to the photobooth and I don't want to hold you up. "

"We can wait though."

"Nah, it's cool. We'll catch up. I'll call you."

Now D'Angelo and Arty were looking suspiciously at them too.

"Guys. I'm serious. It's not like that. Stop."

Max chuckled. "Alright. Sure. My phone is on. Call us when you're ready."

"Thank you."

He took Zayn's hand and led him over to and inside the photo booth.

When they sat down, Zayn looked at Harry with a chuckle. "Your friends have such dirty minds."

He took out his wallet and then took his credit card out. "You know guys, Zayn. You're one yourself."

"But not like them. They're different. Except Arty. He's not as bad."

"Well, true. I guess that also explains why neither of them have gotten a girl to stay yet."

"It does."

Harry chose to have a normal photobooth session so that meant they would be taking four photos.

"What theme, babe?"

"Theme? Um. Let's see..."

"Ooh. How about love?"

"Love?"

"Yeah. You know. A film strip with red and pink hearts and shit. Let's pick that one."

"Uhm."

Before Zayn could say no, Harry had selected the option and went to the next screen.

"Alright. So now we have to use these arrows to position the camera on us. Is it good?"

Zayn was still getting his words out. "Uh... it needs to go down a little bit."

"I agree."

Harry moved it down until it was just right and then an automated voice told them to smile before beginning to count down from five.

Harry quickly put an arm around Zayn and Zayn gave a simple smile. After the voice reached one, the camera took a picture.

"I think that one looks good so what are we doing for the next one? We chose love as a theme so this should be a bit romantic, don't you think?"

"Well..."

The voice started to count down again and Harry pressed his lips to Zayn's cheek. Zayn hunched cutely just before it took the picture.

"You're too cute." Harry laughed out after he'd seen the photo flash briefly on the screen. And when Zayn faced him, he leaned forward to press their noses together. "Just another reason I adore you."

The machine started to count from five again.

"You adore me?"

"Yes. I do adore you. That means I love you deeply, by the way."

By the time the camera flashed, Harry was kissing Zayn.

And when he finished, Zayn was just staring at him dumbfounded. _What?_ Harry had just told him that he loved him. That wasn't a hallucination, right?

"Alright. Last one. What do you want to do for it?"

But Zayn was still looking at him as it started to count down.

"Zayn?"

Still no answer.

"Zayn!"

Zayn jumped just when the camera took the picture.

Harry just let his hands fall in his lap with a huff. "Well, never mind. It's too late now." He pulled back the curtain and then got out.

Zayn followed him. "Wait."

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For what just happened in there. I should've... I should've been ready to take that photo."

"Oh. Sure."

By that response, Zayn thought Harry seemed more disappointed that he chose to appologize for not being ready for the picture instead of apologizing for the way he reacted to what he told him.

"Um, and about what you said..."

"Mhm."

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything in return."

"Are you ready to say anything?"

He thought for a few seconds and then finally shook his head no.

"Well, then there is no need to apologize."

"Are you sure?"

Harry faced him. "Yes. I'm positive. If you're not ready, you're not ready."

He took their photos from the delivery shoot and handed Zayn his. "That guy on the left is one good looking man and makes one hell of a boyfriend, I tell ya."

Zayn smiled. "I can say the same for the guy on the right too."

"Well then, since we feel that way, should the guy on the right buy the guy on the left that corndog he promised him earlier?"

Zayn giggled. "Yes, please. I'm hungry."

"Me too."

Harry took his hand and pulled him along and towards the area where food was being sold. He ordered them both really long corndogs and lemonade and they sat down at a table to enjoy them.

Harry sent a text to one of his friends and they replied, so he busied himself there. As he did so, Zayn couldn't help but think about Harry's earlier admission. Did he believe him? Of course he believed him. Harry had no reason to say that without meaning it. But it still puzzled him. Because just like at the beginning of the summer when he didn't understand why Harry liked him, he didn't really understand why Harry loved him either.

When Harry looked over at him and saw him pushing his straw down in the cup and taking it out again, he sighed.

"Z."

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because you keep doing that thing where you look like you really want to say something to me and you never do."

"I do?"

"Yes."

"Oh. I don't mean to."

Harry reached over and took his free hand. "You don't mean to look like you want to say something or you don't mean to make it obvious that you want to say something and choose not to?"

Zayn stopped looking at him. "Neither. There's nothing wrong about getting lost in thought."

"Is that thought about me?"

"About anything."

"And that's the truth?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"Alright then." He took his hand from Zayn's and shoved the rest of his corn dog in his mouth. "The guys are over at the ferris wheel now. We'll meet them there."

Zayn cringed at his mouth full of food. "Are they going to ride?"

"Yeah. We all will ride so we can see where all the rides are in the park. Does that sound good to you?"

Zayn took a careful bite of his corndog and shrugged. "Yeah."

 

 

* * *

  
Zayn had already unlocked the door with his key and stepped halfway inside. But Harry grasped his hand and pulled him back. "Don't be in a hurry to say it back. You can take your time if you want to because it won't change the way I feel at all. Understand?"

Be nodded. "Okay."

Harry kissed his cheek and then let go of his hand. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Zayn went inside and once he closed and locked the door, he exhaled deeply. He hadn't felt those strong feelings for Harry yet, but he was trying to imagine what it would be like when he did feel them. How would it make him feel and would he be able to come out and say it with no hesitation just like Harry did?

Luckily he didn't need to answer those questions yet because Harry said that if he wasn't ready then there was no need to rush. And since he had no plans to rush to begin with, he was going to take his time and really feel things out. Maybe time would be able to answer the questions he had and more.

 

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
"Are you still laughing?"

Zayn covered his mouth, trying his best to hide his giggle but Harry sat the bowl down on the table and reached out to take his hand from his mouth. "Why is it so funny to you?"

"Because... you and soft movies? It's hilarious."

Harry plopped down on the couch next to him. "That's not funny. It's better than your weird interest in aliens."

"Not a chance."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Uh uh. No way."

But Harry softly gripped his chin and gave him a look. "Yes it is."

Zayn pushed his lips out to show he was unimpressed. "You can try to get me to agree by looking into my eyes like that all you want but it doesn't work on me."

"Yes it does. You're just misbehaving today."

Zayn's mouth parted a little bit but he wasn't upset. "Misbehaving? And who determines if I'm behaving or not?"

Harry pointed his thumb at himself. "Me, of course."

"Yeah. Sure."

Harry put the bowl in his lap and then propped his feet on the coffee table in front of them. "I do. And see, when you misbehave, a tally goes on the mental chalkboard in my brain, counting down to your punishment."

Zayn found that funny and decided to entertain his obvious suggestive ideas. "Oh really?"

"Yes. You get three tallies in all."

"Three? So... once I reach three, what kind of punishment do I recieve?"

"Well, first of all, I wouldn't skip over two if I were you."

"And why not?"

"Because you're due a spanking at strike two. As a warning, you know."

Zayn laughed. "Stop it."

"I'm serious."

"No you're not. You just think that because Anne, William and Gemma are away at the movies that this is your oportunity to be naughty with me."

Harry's smile had given away that Zayn was right but he still denied it anyway and tossed a popped kernel in his mouth. "Never, Zayn."

"Mhm."

"No, really. Sometimes when it comes to his boyfriend, a man just has to... how do I put it..."

"Be a dick?"

Harry raised his brow. "No. But that's interesting that you would pick that of all things. You must want some."

He gasped. "Harry."

"I'm kidding." But then he mumbled his next statement. "You won't get that until strike three."

Zayn just looked at him but Harry paid him no mind.

"Popcorn?" He offered.

"I heard you."

"You what?"

"I heard what you said."

"When I said I was kidding? I know."

"No. When you said... You know what? Never mind."

 

 

" _You know what? Never mind?_ I don't remember saying that. And I think I would remember that if I actually said it."

  
Zayn knew Harry was only trying to get him to repeat it but he wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. So he just took a handful of popcorn and began to eat.

He realized that the movie had already began, so he sat back against the cushions to watch quietly. When Harry put an arm around him, Zayn felt a little nervousness in his stomach. He never ever thought that he and Harry would be alone at home together, whether here or at his grandparents house. And yet, here they were.

The only reason they were alone was because Gemma really wanted to go watch a movie with Liz. Gemma nor Liz had their license yet, so Anne offered to drop them both off at the theater. Since she didn't want to watch the movie with them, she and William decided to make a date night out of it and they went to dinner while the girls watched the movie, which left Harry at home alone.

Zayn was surprised when he came over because Harry conviently left out that they would be there alone for the night when he invited him. Not that Zayn was afraid of being alone with Harry but he just knew by the way Harry was talking that he was realizing what sort of opportunities had presented themselves now that they were truly alone tonight.

Halfway through the movie, Zayn stood up. "I'm not even kidding. Next time I'll pick the movie and it will be much, much cooler than this. I can't sit through sappy romance type stuff."

"It's not sappy romance. It's mainly drama with a side of romance."

"Doesn't matter. I'm picking the movie next time."

"Hmm. Where are you going?"

"The popcorn made me thirsty. I'm getting more water."

"Why not have me instead?"

Zayn raised his brow but couldn't help but laugh. "Alright. That's enough."

"What?"

"You know what."

The way Harry smirked at him made Zayn shake his head at him. He probably thought he was slick but he could never get over on Zayn. He did still try though, so when Zayn came back from the kitchen with a bottle of water, he was stretched out over the whole couch and had his legs open.

Zayn just opened his bottle of water with a straight face. After he drank what he wanted from it, he sat the bottle down on the table. He didn't say anything. He just let Harry win this time and climbed over in his lap so he could cuddle against him.

Harry let a hand fall and rest over his back. "We could never cuddle like this at a movie theater. Couples seating isn't made for this."

"We could never cuddle like this with your family home either. Or at least I would never do this with them here."

Harry smiled. "So we'd better take advantage of it then. This may not happen again this summer." He snaked a hand up the back of Zayn's shirt and grinned triumphantly when Zayn kissed his jawline instead of scolding him.

They lay that way all the way up until the movie ended. But by then, Zayn had found that he was comfortable with it. He didn't even want to get up.

"Can't believe you made me sit through that for an entire hour and fifty five minutes."

"I enjoyed it."

"I know you did."

Harry hummed and just pushed his hands through Zayn's hair. "And now, let's make better use of this night."

"And how do you suppose we do that?"

"We can start by sharing the most intense kiss we've ever shared."

Harry pulled at him and Zayn helped himself the rest of the way. "Oh. You mean like this."

He lightly pressed his lips to Harry's, barely catching them at all.

"Um... no."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. That was very disatisfying."

"Oh... you meant like this then."

This time he pretended he was going to kiss his lips before he bent down and kissed his cheek instead.

"Zayn."

"What?"

"Not cool."

"It is though. It's very cool."

He yelped when Harry spanked his bottom hard. "Ouch. What was that for?"

"Strike two."

"Strike two? When did I get the first one?"

"When you called my movie choice uncool earlier."

Zayn giggled. "My opinion."

"Is terrible."

Zayn leaned down and bit his neck.

"Ouch."

"Then stop. Or I'll do it again."

"Well, I mean I'm not that opposed to it. I actaully think it's hot but... maybe not so harsh. The neck is sensitive. But we can go get naked in my room and I'll let you bite my shoulders all night."

Zayn felt a nervous feeling his stomach. Well there it finally was. Harry's first real try at eliciting sex. It terrified him a little but it excited him twice as much. "Wow."

"What?"

"You really came on out and said it."

"I did, didn't I?" He tried to push his hands down the back of Zayn's pants, but Zayn's belt was tight so he could only get his fingertips in.

That made Zayn snicker and he looked down at Harry. "Trying to get inside my pants, hm?"

"I've been trying all night."

"With no success."

"Because you won't grant it."

Zayn had seen his pout and found it rather cute. He did want to give Harry what he had been wanting from him because Harry had been so loyal all this time. He went the entire school year with just Zayn talking into his ear. Even when he came to visit during Christmas vacation, Harry wouldn't dare try to do anything in Yaser's house. And Zayn appreciated him so much for that.

"Let's say I do want to grant it because I really like you. You'll be gentle and not rush me or make me do something I don't want to do?"

"Yes."

"I mean it. Because despite all that dirty stuff we talked about on the phone, I have never actually done it with anyone ever."

"I know. I'm your first everything. And I would never make you do anything you don't want to do if you tell me you don't want to. Okay?"

Zayn studied him for a moment. But not too long because he didn't want to give Harry the idea that he didn't trust him. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Let's do it. My virginity is yours to take."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't say it like that. When you say it like that, it sounds like that's all I'm here for. But I'm not. I love you. And you're the first person I've said that to without having already slept with them. As a matter of fact, I've never told anyone I've loved them before."

"So I'm special?"

"You've always been special. From the first day of the first summer I ever saw you."

Zayn smiled and he finally did give Harry the kiss he'd been asking for earlier. It was so intense and strong and it was the perfect gateway to what they were about to do.

Harry started to get up, so Zayn stood up to his feet and let him. Right away they rushed to Harry's bedroom and locked the door behind them.

"Better hope your parents don't come home anytime soon." Zayn said.

"Then get naked. The less time we spend talking, the more time alone we'll have."

Harry had gone over to his closet and dug around on the top shelf, so Zayn started to get undressed. The only reason it was so easy to get naked in front of him was because it wasn't the first time. So to him, the phone sex they had numerous times during the school year was vital in preparing him for this moment. Because he knew he wasn't showing Harry anything he hadn't already seen via video chat.

Finally Harry had found what he was searching for and walked over to the bed where Zayn was sitting. He had a bottle of lubricant in his hand.

"Even if I don't know all about what I'm doing, I don't want to just lie here and let you fuck me." Zayn said.

"Okay."

"I want to have some measure of control over this."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"So... you don't care?"

"No.

"Really?"

"Yes. You can tell me what to do if that's what you want."

That took him by surprise. "I can?"

"Yes. Why do you keep asking?"

"I don't know."

Harry took his shirt off over his head and threw it down to the floor. And then after that, he was rushing to get out of his clothes like he had a time limit to do so.

After everything was off from head to toe, he tackled Zayn backwards onto the bed and kissed him. Zayn laughed and turned away from his kiss. "Somebody is eager."

"I am. Do you want me to wear a condom or not? Cause I have some if you want me to."

When he asked that, Zayn's mind automatically went back to the conversation he had with his father at the end of last summer. His father had told him that he trusted he knew what safe sex was and that he was sure he would put what he knew to use if this should ever come up between he and Harry. But Harry wasn't just anybody to Zayn. Harry was his boyfriend and he knew him well. This would be so much different from being with just anyone.

"You'd tell me if you had something you could pass on to me, right?"

"What?"

"Like... if you had a disease. You wouldn't hide that from me, right? Because I wouldn't hide that from you."

He smiled, although it was bit forced due to confusion. "Of course. I would never hide something like that from you. Why? Do you suspect I have something?"

"No, no. I'm just saying... You asked me about a condom and that question made me think about how my dad wants me to be careful. Because you know... unprotected sex poses a lot of serious threats." Zayn saw the way Harry was just looking down at him and he turned red. "I mean... I don't even know why I'm talking about diseases or my dad at this moment. I always pick the wrong time. I don't care. We don't need a condom."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure."

Harry just chuckled down at him. "All the moments like this that I've endured with you over the past two years makes finally getting to fuck you worthwhile."

"It does?"

"It really does."

He reached for the tube of lube he had retrieved earlier. "By the way... you said some pretty interesting things over those video chats this past year."

Zayn covered his his eyes. "Harry, don't."

"I'm just saying. There was something about you using your fingers on yourself while I watch. Is that correct?"

"That was your suggestion. Not mine. Plus I only said that for you. Not to do it for real."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Your false innocence is actually a slight turn on."

"It's not false."

"Do you or do you not want me to finger you instead of doing it yourself?"

"Yes."

"Right. So just because it's not you doing it to yourself, that doesn't mean you're more innocent by having me do it. It's just means it's someone else stimulating you."

Zayn groaned. "Ugh. Shut up and do this before your family gets home."

"As you wish."

He squirted some of the gel on his finger, then rubbed just a bit of it around Zayn's entrance before pushing his finger in.

"Whoa." Zayn said.

"Are you alright?"

Zayn simply nodded but he wanted to say so much more. This was what it felt like to have someone else's finger inside of him. He didn't know why he pictured it so different but the feeling was weird. If one skinny finger was a bit uncomfortable and somewhat painful, he was trying to imagine what Harry's dick would feel like when he finally put it in.

"It's very apparent that you're a virgin."

"It is?"

"Yes. I'm actually worried that I'll hurt you. So I might need to prep you a little longer than I normally would."

"That's good though, right?"

"That you're so tight?"

Zayn blushed at his question. "Mhm."

"I mean, yeah. It'll feel really good once I put my dick in and get moving but... I don't want to hurt you is what I'm saying."

"Okay."

Harry had begun to move his finger around in a circular motion, trying to open him slowly. Zayn hissed briefly but found quicker relief when he moved in and out. Soon the one finger turned to two and Harry was using them pretty fast.

Only a little longer than that and Zayn was squirming and pulling one of his legs back more. "Yes. That feels really good now."

"It does?"

"Yes."

"That's a good sign then. When the pain turns to more pleasure, you're ready."

He took his fingers out and right away started to apply gel to his own dick.

Zayn thought about that night at the house party last summer. For some reason this moment reminded him of that night. Only on that night he was not ready for sex whereas now he was actually excited for it.

Harry was watching Zayn watch him carefully and he smiled lovingly at him. He understood what this moment meant. Not only was he going to have sex with him, but this was Zayn's first time. So he was also taking Zayn's virginity to hold it forever. He was literally Zayn's first everything and he knew this would be very special for them.

He leaned down to kiss Zayn as a distraction and as he kissed him, pushed his dick inside of him. Zayn moaned into his mouth and shut his eyes tight.

"Oh shit, Harry."

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes. But it feels good too. I don't know. It's so confusing."

"I know. Sex is like that sometimes."

Zayn bit his lip a little. He wasn't sure that he would but he actually liked that this wasn't Harry's first time. It was better for his partner to know what he was doing and guide him along the way because he himself sure didn't know.

Harry was long stroking him now, more so to get him used to the feeling of taking all of him. Zayn said nothing. In fact, he was very quiet. Harry didn't understand it because Zayn told him he didn't want to just lie there and be fucked. Yet that was exactly what he was doing.

In an effort to ease his mind, he had pushed his legs back a little and kissed from the inside of his thigh and up to the bend of his knee. It was a very sweet and partly romantic gesture. But Zayn was so busy enjoying the feeling that he even forgot he was supposed to be nervous about his first time.

"This makes me wanna touch myself." He said sheepishly before he reached down to his dick. "Sorry. I can't help it."

But Harry grabbed his hand and took it away before he could make contact, then pinned it against the bed.

"No. Stop, Harry." He saw the grin on his face and frowned. "Why are you smiling? I hate you."

He continued to fuck him but didn't say anything. So Zayn tried to use his other hand. But Harry was quick and released his thigh so he could pin that hand too.

"Very defiant. I like it."

"What? Why?"

"Strike three."

"I thought this was already strike three. You said I couldn't get any dick until strike three. Yet you're already giving it to me."

As he said that, Harry's strokes instantly became shorter and harder. Zayn gasped and moaned out loudly. Maybe this was what he meant then? That he couldn't have it like this. The bed started to shake a bit and it was so weird but the harder strokes were so much better to the point where he didn't regret trying to touch himself anymore. His hands were pinned to both sides of his body and he couldn't go anywhere because Harry was too strong to just let him go. It felt like it was some sort of human bondage and strangely, he was not so opposed to it at all. He liked being held down.

In fact, this felt so much like the things they talked about over the phone whenever they were hidden away in their bedrooms an hour and a half away from each other. Zayn would never ask to be pinned in order to keep him from touching himself but he did remember Harry saying something about not using any hands once. He was certainly living it now. And well... if they should ever have a night over the phone like that again, this memory just might come to mind and be the one thing to take him over the edge.

"How does it feel now? Still hurt?"

"No."

"Good."

Harry carefully let go of Zayn's hand and turned his attention to Zayn's erection. He took his index finger and held it straight out, making he sure he showed it to Zayn and let him watch. Then he seductively ran it along the vein on Zayn's shaft up to the head.

"What the fuck?" Zayn asked. Because he didn't know what to say. That simple stroke was pulling him in.

Harry did it again, this time up, then down, then up again. Then he snatched it away completely.

"Fuck you, you tease." Zayn said through gritted teeth.

Harry had laughed then rested his hands on Zayn's stomach. "Don't worry. You'll get to cum. But not just yet."

He stopped fucking him for a moment and then just looked at him. He felt over Zayn's rib cage and then up to his chest and nipples, slightly pinching them.

"Ouch."

Then he pulled out all the way and leaned down to kiss him passionately. He didn't expect it to be _this_ great sleeping with Zayn the first time but it was so far. But his main thing was that he knew he was about to finish this boy off when he resumed and he wanted to savor the moment with Zayn while he was still right in the middle of wanting to be finished off.

"Put it back in." Zayn said quietly.

"What?"

"Put it back in."

"I can't hear you."

Zayn frowned. "You did hear me."

"I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No, I didn't."

Zayn wasn't up for playing any of his games so he closed his eyes and decided to use his hand instead. "Fine, then. I'll just do it myself."

When Harry saw that, he hastily smacked his hand away and pushed his legs back. "No way, Z."

He entered Zayn again and when Zayn giggled as he started to move, he found it to be the hottest thing he'd ever had happen to him. Not that no one ever enjoyed getting his dick before, but this was different. This was the kind of giggle that spelled out just how clever his boyfriend really was. That he now knew he had the power to get Harry to do whatever he wanted if he only threatened to deny him the opportunity to be the one to make him climax.

Harry fucked into him hard and didn't even say a word. There was only the sound of his skin against Zayn's skin until that was soon joined by their soft moans and Zayn's low whispers of expletives.

By the time Zayn was actually having his orgasm, he was sliding off the edge of the bed and towards Harry, wanting him to just stay deep inside him until it passed because he liked the feeling. And Harry, halfway granting his wish, continued on until he too came a minute or so later inside of Zayn.

After things had calmed down, Zayn felt slightly shaky and he couldn't bring himself to look at Harry or say anything to him. Not because he was ashamed of what they did but because there was too much uncertainty to what Harry was thinking about. Harry was the one who came into the night wanting this. So Zayn just wanted to be sure that he wasn't the only one who benefited and ultimately wasted this entire night.

Harry finally pulled out and looked at Zayn with a smirk, obviously feeling so proud of what he had done to him. "Such a naughty boy, Zayn. Any innocence you had beforehand, left when I came inside you."

He opened his eyes to see Harry starting to crawl over him and in between his legs. Harry didn't stop till his face was fully over Zayn's. "Come lie under the covers with me. I wanna give you a hickie and then fall asleep with you."

"Fall asleep?"

"Yes."

"But I don't have anything to wear tomorrow. And besides. If you don't come out of the room and at least show your face when they get back home, or if I come out in the same exact clothes tomorrow, wouldn't that just make your parents suspicious?"

He didn't look perturbed by those questions though. "And you think going home with that _I-just-had-sex_ hair you have will be better? I doubt it. I'll worry about my parents, okay?"

He nodded then turned under Harry before crawling towards the head of the bed and getting under the covers. It was actually pretty nice being underneath his covers for the first time ever so he settled in nicely when Harry put on a pair of gym shorts with underwear and then slipped out of the room. When he came back, he locked the door and got naked again. He also had two cold bottles of water in his hand and put them both on the only nightstand on his side of the bed in case Zayn did want it.

Once he climbed into bed, he immediately got busy creating the hickie he told him he wanted to make.

"Is this supposed to be how I leave it to you to worry about your parents?"

"Uh... something like that."

"Mhm. I'm sure they won't suspect a thing with the markings you'll leave on me."

"Of course not."

When Zayn gave him that look, Harry jokingly and immediately said the first thing he knew would ease the tension. "I love you though, babe. Remember that."

"I... I know."

Zayn had laughed quietly to himself and faced the ceiling. But what Harry didn't know was that Zayn was just that close in that moment. He was just that close to accidentally saying it back.


	9. 3rd Summer: Trust Issues

Zayn had actually been quite lucky when it came to dodging Harry's parents the next morning. It turned out that they were both gone to work and only Gemma was left at home. However, she slept in late and wasn't awake yet. So Zayn was able to get dressed and slip out to his own home without anyone but Harry knowing he was still there.

However, Zayn was not as fortunate when he unlocked the door to his grandparents house and went inside. Everyone in the house was already awake and starting their day.

"You didn't tell us that you'd be staying over all night." Zayn's aunt said when he came into the living room.

"Um... I know. I'm sorry. But I didn't know I would stay either. It just happened."

She noticed him drawn to himself with his hands up to boths sides of his neck. So she stood up from the couch and came over to him. "Well, are you alright?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm fine."

"Have you eaten anything this morning?"

He shook his head. "No. But I'm just gonna... go take a bath for now. I'll eat afterwards."

He could tell she was still very curious about him but she let him go anyway. "Alright then. Let me know when you get out so I can make you something to eat. Okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

She let him go on and he continued down the hallway, never once taking his hands from his neck. His bath must've lasted two hours before he finally decided he'd better get out. When he came back into the living room this time, he had a medium towel wrapped around his neck.

"Cold?" Nan asked when she saw him.

He stumbled over his words. "Ah uhm... a little."

Now his Aunt stood up from the couch.

"Zayn, why don't you come in the kitchen with me and tell me what you want to eat."

"Anything you make is fine, really."

"No, no. I'd like you to show me. Come on."

He could see by the way she was waving for him that this was less about what he wanted to eat and more about something else. So he was actually scared as he followed her to the kitchen.

"I- I don't know what I want to eat." He said silently.

"I know that. That's not the real reason I wanted you in here." She said with a soft smile.

Zayn raised his brow. "Okay."

"I just want to tell you that you should not be ashamed."

"Of what?"

"Of what Harry did to your neck."

Zayn's eyes grew big but he didn't say anything.

"Relax. I was also a nineteen year old once. I know what it's like to have a boyfriend and be affectionate with him. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's only natural. I just don't want you to go around hiding from us because you feel bad about it. It makes me sad."

Zayn twisted his mouth sideways. "Oh."

"I think it's beautiful that you two care about each other so much. As you well know, I never married or had any children. So I haven't got anyone or anything to live on after me. Seeing you two experiencing a young love together makes me happy."

He wore a look of confusion. "Wait. So you're not mad that I spent a night away without telling you?"

"No. I'm not. Because I know that you were safe there."

Zayn looked down at his feet and slowly slid the towel from around his neck. The fact that she had called their relationship young love made Zayn want to inquire of some advice. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

"When I went to the carnival with Harry, something changed that night. We were in the photobooth together and he told me he loved me. But... I don't know if I'm ready to say something like that back. I don't know what to do. What should I do?"

She thought for a moment. "For starters, you shouldn't rush. Is he pressuring you to say it back?"

"Not at all. It's just the opposite. He told me not to rush."

"Well, that's good then. And if he really loves you, then he will wait for you just as he has. From what I see, Harry is a good boy."

Zayn sighed. "He is."

She noticed the way he looked and she reached out to hug him. "Why don't you talk to your father about this?"

"Because I don't think he knows how to talk about me being with another boy. I think it makes him nervous because he's afraid he'll say the wrong thing and offend me."

"But he has been in love before. He fell in love with your mother. Unlike me, he would have experience in knowing how to be able to determine when the right time would be for you to say it back. Don't be afraid to ask him, Zayn. That's what fathers are for."

She gave him a couple pats on the back and then began to move about the kitchen. Zayn lightly touched over the spot on his neck and then folded his arms as he walked out of the kitchen. He knew she was right. This was definitely something he should talk to his father about. He needed time to think about how and when he would say it though. Because honestly, this wasn't something he was particularly ready to discuss with him at all.

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
"Arty went and got himself a girl."

Zayn looked up from his phone to Harry who was across the counter. "Huh?"

"Yeah, apparently, he met a girl named Marina at the carnival when me and you broke off to go to the photobooth."

"Wow."

"He sent a picture of her so I'll know what she looks like before we meet."

"Why is he just now sending it? It's been three weeks since we went to the carnival."

"I know. Apparently he was waiting."

Harry sat his phone on the counter and slid it towards Zayn. When Zayn looked down at it, he saw a girl with black hair and black lipstick.

"That's her?"

"Yep."

"She's pretty. But her dark lipstick scares me."

Harry chuckled and took his phone back. "Well, it's a good thing you aren't dating her then."

"Mhm. But why exactly was he waiting to send you this picture?"

"Because they went on their second date together today. You know how it is. If you get a second date, it most likely means a person genuinely likes you. So he was waiting for that. That's how everyone in our friend group is."

"Hmm. I see. And they actually went on a  _date_ date? Like a planned one?"

"Yes. He said he took her out to lunch."

"Oh." He paused for a moment and fell into deep thought. Then he came out of it to ask a question that had just come to mind. "Are we dating?"

That question caught Harry off guard. He didn't expect it to be asked. "Um... Yes. Why do you ask that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Because we either see each sparingly over the phone when school is in or all the time during summer break, which is not really special."

"Not speacial? What makes it not special?"

"I just told you."

"No you didn't. You said we see each other often and I see nothing wrong with that because I like seeing you."

"I didn't say anything was wrong with it. I'm saying I wasn't sure if this was special enough to call it dating."

"Babe, dating is not always about going out together with some planned special night." He grabbed Zayn's hand and leaned on the counter. "Sometimes it's that but other times it's just me and you deciding at the last minute to meet at the dock and enjoy the night with an icecream float in our hands. That's still dating. You and I are committed to each other. That's the way it is. And that is special enough to me."

Zayn smiled and Harry had mimicked it as he rubbed the pad of his thumb back and forth over the back of Zayn's hand.

When the door to the liquor store opened, Zayn drew his hand back.

"Welcome!" Harry greeted. "If you need anything..."

When his voice faded out unexpectedly, Zayn decided he probably should look at what had made him go quiet. When he saw the same girl from that house party last year walking right over to them, his heart beat fast.

"Hey, Harry." She said and she completely ignored Zayn sitting there.

"Hi, Jennifer." He said and Zayn was surprised because it was the first time Harry had ever said her name around him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm working. And aren't you too young to buy liquor?"

She giggled. "I'm not here by myself. My friend is buying liquor."

"For you?"

"Why does it matter? You must wanna come drink with me?"

Zayn cut in. "Excuse me?"

But Harry interrupted him before he could say anything. "No, I don't wanna come drink with you. I'm earning money and spending time with my boyfriend at the same time. I think I'm good."

She pulled a pouty face. "You don't mind holding conversations with me every time I come in here but when I try to hang out off the clock as friends, you always act like something is wrong with that."

"There is something wrong." Zayn said. "Because all three of us know that you want to be with him. So you're not fooling anyone, sweetie."

She looked at him as if he had cursed her out. "And who are you to say what my intentions are? You can't read what's in my brain."

"I don't have to read your brain. Have you forgotten that I was at that party last year when you had your hands all over Harry? Everyone knows what you're trying to do and I won't let you do it as long as I'm here. So you might as well leave."

"Alright, alright." Harry said. "That's enough. Stop fighting."

"This isn't a fight. What I said is how this is gonna go because I'm the one who's with you."

"Zayn. I said stop."

Zayn folded his arms and turned on the stool away from Jennifer.

"Jennifer, when you and whomever you're with find what you're looking for and pay for it, I'm going to have to ask you to leave my store."

"What?"

"I'm serious."

She looked at him for a while then finally shrugged as she turned away. "Whatever. I'll be back."

When she walked away, Harry looked at Zayn and saw that he was so upset about what just happened. He was afraid to say anything to him while customers were there because he thought Zayn might start yelling. Soon after, a guy older than Jennifer came up to the counter with two bottles of vodka. Harry checked his ID and when he paid and they left, he turned his attention to Zayn.

"Zayn."

"What?"

"About what just happened..."

"You mean when you didn't really try to end it and tell her to go away until I did?"

He scoffed. "You didn't give me a chance."

"Or maybe it's just that it took you too long to decide how to respond which is very interesting."

"Interesting? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Not to mention, she comes here often just to see you and you never thought to mention that to me at least once? I had to find out from her. Would you have ever said anything if I wasn't here today when she came in?"

Harry frowned. "You know... I really don't like when you always make it seem as if I'm cheating on you. These trust issues. What are they based on?"

"Who says they're trust issues?"

"I do because that's what they are."

"Or maybe I see with my own eyes just how persistent she is and noticed it's enough to worry."

"About what? That she could get me to cheat on you?"

"Well, you did kiss her, didn't you?"

"That's not fair."

"Or is it?"

"No it's not fair. Because when I kissed her, I was single to my knowledge. But that's not the case anymore. I mean we both know we like each other, so why don't we make things a lot more clearer, why don't we? I say we should start with you telling me the real reason you're scared to let anyone take me away."

Zayn had gotten up from his stool and put his phone in his pocket. "And what would you like me to say in order to satisfy you? That I have trust issues? Well, it's not happening. And neither is me spending the rest of the day with you."

As he headed to the door, Harry rushed from behind the counter to catch up to him. He grabbed him a little more aggressively than he intended to but it was the only way to stop him before he could walk out. "No, that's not what I want you to say. I want you to admit that you don't want anyone to take me away because you love me too."

But Zayn just looked at him. "I won't."

"Because you're afraid to say it?"

"Because I don't want to. And if you really care, then you will respect that."

"I respect it if you're not ready to love me. But I can't be satisfied if you do love me and won't ever tell me you love me. That's not fair to me."

"And who says that I do love you? Who gets to tell me how I feel about you? You? Well, I guess it's good to know I can't determine my own feelings on my own when I'm dating you."

When he said that, Harry just let go of him. "Alright. Fine. I get it. It's not my place to tell you you love me. I'm sorry. I should not have done that."

Zayn slowly exhaled. "It's okay. I'm sorry I implied you would cheat. I don't know why I do that. I think this whole long distance thing makes it so hard to trust."

Harry opened his mouth to speak but Zayn put a hand up.

"But I'm not saying I have trust issues. I'm saying our situation makes it harder to trust each other because we aren't there. I trust you a lot more when I'm here during the summer."

Harry twisted his mouth sideways. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes. Jennifer is different. When you kissed her, it was like you caught head lice. She's going to be so hard to get rid of because she doesn't give a fuck about me being your boyfriend. Even if you and I are clearly together, she'd still let you get in her pants if you really wanted to."

"But I don't want to. That's the thing."

"Not now. But you almost did and she knows that. That's why she keeps trying. She thinks that sooner or later, if you keep seeing her face around here, then you'll give in to what you felt the first time you kissed her."

He shook his head. "Zayn, you don't have to worry about that. I won't ever give in to her. I promise."

"You can absolutely make that promise?"

"I can absolutely make that promise."

He placed his hands on Zayn's waist and kissed him slowly. When he pulled away, Zayn couldn't bring himself to smile but he wasn't upset anymore.

"That was sweet but... I think I'm still leaving anyway."

"What? Why?"

"Because each time I'm here, your boss is coincidentally never here. I have a sneaky suspicion you only ask me to come sit with you when you know he won't be in."

"What?"

"He doesn't know I'm here. Does he?"

"Well..."

"I'll take that as a no. Goodbye, Harry."

"I'll call you later later tonight, then."

"Sure."

"Don't fall asleep on me."

"I won't."

Harry followed him to the door and then opened it for him. "Bye, babe."

He loved that pet name. "Bye."

When Zayn left, Harry moved the stool Zayn had been sitting on, behind the counter again. Clearly they had just had an argument and then made up _somewhat_. But a part of him still believed it was unresolved. He didn't think he fully understood what Zayn really wanted out of the relationship because Zayn wasn't telling him anything. And Harry didn't like that he wasn't telling him anything. Especially when _anything_ felt like it also included the way he felt for him.

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
"And you do love him back?"

"I don't know, Daddy. I don't know if I ever could as long as we keep doing it long distance like this."

Yaser turned from the kitchen counter and leaned up against it. "You don't trust him?"

"It's not that I don't trust him. It's just... I don't know. There's this girl..."

"A girl? That you like?"

"No. Of course not. She likes Harry. He kissed her the school year after we kissed. And that's okay because we weren't dating each other then. But the problem is that now that we're together, she won't go away. She comes up to his job all the time and tries to get Harry to spend time with her."

"And what does Harry do when she does that?"

"I don't know. He shooed her out of the store when I was there but I think that was just because I was there. I know he doesn't ever spend time with her outside of work though because she sort of confirmed it but apparently he does talk to her every time she comes in there. And I don't like that he gives her attention at all."

"Mhm. I see. And what does all this have to do with me asking you if you love him right now?"

"Because I can't see myself saying that to him as long as things are like this. He promised he wouldn't give in to her advances but what if he does? I'll be so vulnerable then."

Yaser smiled at his flawed reasoning. "Zayn, you'll be vulnerable anyway. Just because you don't tell him you love him, that doesn't mean you can't still get your heart broken. You'll love him regardless of if you tell him or not and those feelings will be there even if he does mess up."

"But it would hurt less for me if I don't confess."

Yaser looked at him with confusion. "Zayn, I don't understand your reasoning. It's like you're preparing for him to cheat. I know you're young and you think you've got it figured out but not telling him is what will open the door for him to do something like that because he won't know that it's mutual and he won't know that you're serious about him in return."

"He does know."

"Does he?"

"I think so."

"You think?"

Zayn sighed. But he didn't answer him this time. He was getting a headache just thinking about it. "Never mind. I'm going to go finish unpacking my things."


	10. 4th Summer: Warning Signs

When Zayn showed up to his grandparents house the following summer, he knew that things would be different. Something in his mind was telling him that what he and Harry had between them had gone wrong. He just didn't know in what way yet. There were a couple times during the drive there that Zayn thought he may have been overreacting. But then he would think about how things had been between them over the time he was away and he knew that it wasn't good. There were three indicators over that course of those nine months that had told him just so.

The first indicator happened a couple months after Zayn went back home for the summer. Zayn had called up Harry one evening just to talk.

_"How was your day?"_

_"Class got canceled. The professor was sick."_

_"Lucky." Zayn said._

_"For me. But not so much for Professor Alan."_

_"Yeah."_

_"What about you?"_

_"I just got in from work and I was bored."_

_"Ah. That's quite interesting. He gets home. He feels bored. I'm the first person he calls. I think that says a lot."_

_Zayn smiled. "Well, don't feel too special. I don't have too many people to talk to. Well... there is this one girl who I partnered up with once on an assignment. Tori McKenny. She's cool, I guess."_

_Harry chuckled. "I never got to see you rock that business suit in person. I'm going to have to visit a little longer on Christmas break this year so I can."_

_"You mean spend Christmas with me instead of going back home?"_

_"Yep."_

_Zayn was so excited. "Well if you do, I have to make sure it's extra special this year."_

_"How special?"_

_"Like.... Anne, William and Gemma are at the movies and we're home alone special."_

_"Ooh. I'll pack the lube and something else special then. But one thing."_

_"What?"_

_"We are not doing that at your dad's house. I just can't."_

_"Why not? I did it at yours."_

_"That's different."_

_"How is it different?"_

_"It just is. Your dad is welcoming me in his home so I'll have a place to stay while I'm there. It wouldn't be right fuck his son in his house while he's away at work."_

_"And how is that different from what we did at your place again?"_

_"I don't know, babe. It just is. So when I get there, we'll just check into a hotel or something for a night."_

_"Then it will be so obvious and he's gonna definitely know what we did."_

_"Or will he?"_

_"Yes. He's got something called common sense. He will know."_

_"Okay, sure. Maybe he will. But it won't matter because we're dating and we're adults who make our own decisions. Plus we're committed to each other and we love each other. Right?"_

_"Harry."_

_"What?"_

_"I know what you're doing. Stop."_

_"Or you could just say it and end my misery right now."_

_"You're not in misery."_

_"Who says?"_

_"Me."_

_"But you don't know that. A man who longs for his love to love him back lives in constant misery."_

_"Is that poetry?"_

_"No. It's Harrytry."_

_Harry had chuckled at his own clever play on words but Zayn suddenly got quiet._

_"Z."_

_"Hm?"_

_"I know I said when you're ready. I still mean that. I just wanna give you something to think about. Maybe prod you a bit, you know?"_

_"I know."_

After that conversation, they went on to have many more, each ending in disappointment for Harry but not enough to upset him, so it appeared to Zayn. Then suddenly a week before Christmas, Harry told Zayn he wasn't going to be able to come visit. He didn't tell him why or if he planned to visit at a later date. He just said that he wasn't coming.

Zayn had called him and tried asking for a reason but, he always got an answer that seemed more like beating around the bush. _"I'm just kinda busy"_   or _"I have a lot of stuff to do."_

And that was the second indicator.

The third indicator came on a spring night when Zayn had come in from dinner with his father. Sometimes they would text each other goodnight but Zayn wanted to hear Harry's voice and opted to call him instead. When Harry answered the phone, he was laughing.

_"Hello?"_

_"Hey."_

_"What's up?"_

_Zayn frowned. "What's up?"_

_"I mean hello, babe."_

_"Hi. What are you doing?"_

_"I'm at work."_

_"Oh."_

_"Is that Zayn?"_

_When Zayn heard that voice, he had to pause. It was much too familiar and sounded just like someone he didn't like. "Who is that in the background?"_

_"A customer."_

_"Just a customer?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And that customer just happens to know my name?"_

_Harry only sighed._

_"Harry, who is that?"_

_"I know this is nowhere near the reason you called."_

_"It is now. Who is that?"_

_"Zayn, please don't do this now."_

_"No, I am going to do this now. Why don't you want to tell me who it is? Is it because it's Jennifer?"_

_"Zayn."_

_"It is her, isn't it?"_

_"Will you please stop it?"_

_"Well, you were laughing and it seemed like you were having such a great time with her when I called. Should I just call back?"_

_"No."_

_"Are you sure. I don't want to interrupt anything you might've had going on."_

_"Zayn. I swear. You need to stop it."_

_"Do I?"_

_"Yes you do. You're being unreasonable."_

_"I'm just gonna leave, Harry. See you around." Zayn heard Jennifer say._

_"Sure."_

_"Yes! That's right! Please leave and don't come back!" He screamed into the phone as if she could hear him. "You will not be seeing him around because you cannot have him, sweetie!"_

_"Zayn! Stop it! She's gone!"_

_"I don't care because clearly this is something you need to hear as well! Why does it feel like I'm left saying the things YOU should've said to her?!"_

_"Don't start that. You're not even here and you already assume the worst. She literally just walked in the door a couple minutes before you called."_

_"And how many other times has she just walked in the door? Go ahead and admit it. She still comes to see you and chat you up all the time, doesn't she?"_

_There was no answer so Zayn asked it more firmly this time._

_"Doesn't she?"_

_"What do you want me to say, Zayn?"_

_"The truth."_

_"Well, then yes. She comes in to see me. What's wrong with company if I know my boundaries?"_

_"What do you THINK is wrong with it?"_

_"Nothing! You act like we haven't been together for almost two years already. I trust you when you're away. So when will you trust me?"_

_"I trust you now."_

_"No you don't and that really sucks that you think this is trust, Z. I'm fucking frustrated with it to be honest. One moment, we're okay. Another moment, we're not because you've found something to be mad about. One moment you trust me, then the next moment you think I'm cheating. I mean you suspect it so much that you wouldn't know the difference even if it was happening under your nose as we speak! You never make up your mind. You're never sure about anything and you care so much about how you feel and what you're comfortable with that you don't realize you're making everyone else around you uncomfortable, including me! Stop it, Zayn. Okay? Stop! I'm tired. I don't wanna keep doing this with you."_

_Suddenly when the last word came through the receiver, Zayn burst into tears. "I'm sorry." He cried._

_And immediately Harry's anger dissipated and he just felt really bad for having said all that to him. "Zayn... don't... don't cry."_

_"I'm trying not to."_

_"Listen, I'm the one who should be sorry. Now that I think about it, what I just said was unnecessary. It was way too harsh. I could have said it a different way. I shouldn't have gone there."_

_"I don't know how not to be indecisive, Harry. I just don't know."_

_"I know." He said softly._

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Stop apologizing. It's okay."_

_"Harry."_

_"Shh. Tell me what you're doing right now." He said in an effort to change the subject. "Stop talking about that and tell me what you're doing right now."_

_"I-I'm in bed. I just got under the covers."_

_"Okay. How about we talk about something good to help calm you for bed."_

_"No. I only called to say goodnight."_

_"But we could talk until you fall asleep. I don't mind."_

_He sniffled. "You don't mind?"_

_"No. I don't mind."_

_"Okay."_

That night, Harry had small talk with Zayn until he drifted off to sleep. As for the phone calls that preceded that one, that argument was always looming over their heads as if the other was waiting on it to be brought up again. But it never was and they went about their time together as if it never did happen.

The biggest thing that Zayn noticed was that coincidently after that night, Harry had stopped asking him if he loved him back. Even if that was what Zayn wanted at first, something about it just didn't feel right. And it became even more apparent in that Harry had stopped telling Zayn he loved him the closer Summer arrived. There was no getting around that things between them were not as they used to be. And he was going to have to face that truth when he came face to face with Harry for the first time in nine months.

Much like the second summer here, Zayn didn't tell Harry he would be coming. So he spent the first week inside. Harry made no attempt to call or text him and Zayn made no attempt to call or text him either. Something was definitely wrong and even his aunt had noticed it.

She'd just knocked on his room door.

"Come in."

When she came in, she had a glass of cold water and a saucer in her hands.

"Sorry to bother you. I've just been very worried since you got here."

He sat up in the bed and pulled his knees up to his chest. "Oh."

"So how are you?"

"Good, I guess."

She set the glass down on the table along with the saucer and Zayn noticed there were chocolates in it.

"Are you sure? Because last time you were barely here an hour and you were rushing outside to see Harry. You couldn't even contain yourself. Now you won't even leave your room, let alone the house."

He shrugged and she sighed.

"Aside from the promise of rain today, it's summertime and you should be enjoying yourself. Not sulking over whatever it is you're sulking over. Even if it is Harry."

"I don't feel like enjoying myself."

She looked sadly at him. "Well... when you decide to do something other than sit there, there's chocolate and water for you."

"Thanks." He said dryly.

"You're welcome."

She pat his legs and then left the room without another word. Zayn just rested his chin on his knees and quietly thought about her words.

She was right. There was a big difference between this summer and last summer. He was ecstatic about coming here and seeing Harry last summer but this time he was nervous and scared. A person who loves someone doesn't just stop calling or texting to check up on them unless something went wrong. And the idea that either one of the things he was currently thinking of could be true was terrifying.

Despite his fears, he also very well knew hiding in his room would get nothing accomplished. However, things might move along if he did something more than sit here. So instead of waiting for Harry to call him, he figured he should be the one to pick up the phone this time. Because Harry was probably wishing he would be the first one to call too.

In that moment, the thought seriously crossed his mind about an eager Harry and a spark of motivation went off in him. Perhaps Harry hadn't called because he was waiting for him; testing him out to see how much he really wanted to be with him after another 9 months apart. Well, Zayn did want to be with him and he wanted to be with him very much. The only way Harry would know that was if he called him and told him that. He just hoped he would be waiting by the phone.

 

* * *

  
"Come on, Harry. Why are you so slow?"

"Hold on, Gem. I just found my credit card. You know there can be no tuxedo renting without it."

"Well, it's about to rain."

"Alright, alright. Let me put my shoes on."

He went back down the hallway and then suddenly his phone rang from the coffee table in the living room.

"Your phone is ringing!"

"Who is it?"

She didn't need to read the caller ID to know who it was because this caller had a special ringtone. "It's Zayn!"

Harry's response took a while. "Let it ring!"

"Why? You're going to have to talk to him at some point!"

"Whatever!"

But she didn't listen to him. She just answered it anyway. "Hello?"

"Oh... Gemma? You have Harry's phone?"

"No. He's in the back and I just answered it. Do you want to talk to Harry?"

"Um... yes. I do. But not over the phone. I want to see him face to face. Could you please tell him I want to talk to him outside?"

"When?"

"Now if it's possible."

She thought for a moment then peeked down the hallway. "Okay. Yes. I'll tell him for you."

"Thank you so much, Gemma. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. And Zayn?"

"Yes?"

"It's good hearing from you again."

"Yeah. You too."

She hung up the phone just as Harry came down the hallway.

"You answered it anyway, didn't you?"

"I did but I'm glad I did."

"Why do you say that?"

"He just asked to talk to you."

"Oh really? That's so interesting. His car has been parked out there for an entire week and he is just now wanting to talk. He must really care about me."

"Harry."

"What?"

"Don't make it harder than it has to be."

"Except it's already hard and you know exactly why. No need to explain to you."

"Good. So then you can explain it to Zayn and tell him what's going on with you and how you feel so that he knows. He deserves to know."

"He's been known, Gemma. He's been known since I said it at the photo booth. I'm tired. If he continues what he's doing, whether he likes it or not, I'm moving on."

"Then why don't you tell him you're moving on. That would be the right thing to do. Plus I already told him you we coming out to meet him in a minute."

He gasped. "Why?"

"Because you should. Don't hide from him. Tell him the truth. If you really love him, even you know that he deserves to know."

Harry looked at his sister pleadingly but he knew she was right. If things were changing, Zayn needed to know. It wouldn't be fair not to tell him. "Fine. I'll go out there. But you wait here and no eavesdropping on us. This is between me and him."

"I promise I won't."

He gathered his thoughts together carefully, then reluctantly went outside to see Zayn.

When he went outside, Zayn wasn't there. But he knew he had been watching for him to come out because when he got to the bank, Zayn came outside and headed over to him.

"Hi." Zayn said nervously.

"Hey." His tone was a lot more nonchalant than Zayn's.

"It's been a week."

"I know that."

"Well... Is there a reason you've avoided talking to me?"

"I seem to recall that in that same span, you did not pick up the phone to talk to me either so let's not start this off by accusing each other about not calling in a week, please."

"Alright. Fair enough. But is there a reason you didn't want to talk to me?"

"Hmm. Let's see. Should I start with you and your suspicions of me or your failure to confess your true feelings for me? That's a tough one."

Zayn swallowed. "I feel like we haven't had a real conversation ever since that night we argued. Instead of addressing it, we ignored it."

"Because I didn't want to argue anymore."

"How do you know we would've argued?"

"Because this is you we're talking about."

"And what's that supoosed to mean?"

"It means what it means. You only argue because it takes the attention off the fact that you keep hiding behind your true feelings for me. But I'm not stupid. I know."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is."

"It isn't though. I just have a hard time making up my-"

"Stop it! No you don't! You know damn well how you feel! You just won't say it! And... And I don't know why you are so afraid to say it to me but I can't keep waiting for you to make up your mind." Harry's lips trembled.

"I don't understand. You can't keep waiting?"

"No. I can't. It's not realistic to expect a long distance relationship to work like this. At first I thought we could because I really liked you. But no relationship based on one sided love makes any sense to keep. I need more than one sided love. And I guess I was wrong to think that you would be the one willing to give it to me. I'm sorry, Zayn."

He started to turn around back to his house but Zayn reached out and grasped his arm. "No. Wait. You can't just say that and walk away."

But Harry yanked himself out of his grip. "Yes I can. And as far as I'm concerned, what we had is over and it's pretty much been over for a long time. I'm no longer interested in going on like this so if you'll excuse me, I have a tuxedo to go rent."

When Zayn heard that, his whole expression changed and he looked curiously at him. "Um, what?"

But Harry kept walking toward the house again as if he didn't hear him. So Zayn just rushed to catch up with him and cut him off. "Why are you renting a tuxedo?"

"Because I can."

But he shook his head. "People don't just rent tuxedos because they can. So that won't go over with me. Are you getting married?"

Harry just looked at him and didn't say anything. But he didn't have to. The look told everything.

"You are, arent you? How could you do that to me?"

Harry held his hands out. "So... what? You just wanted me to wait on you forever?"

Zayn suddenly felt like his chest had collapsed and he became angry. "It's not about waiting on anybody! It's... You couldn't even tell me?! And who is this person you're getting married to?"

"It's nobody."

"So then that must mean it's Jennifer then. Because like always, you never want to say her name."

"Zayn-"

"Don't even." Zayn said and the tears began to fall. "It obviously doesn't matter whether I loved you then or now or not. You marrying her means that you were cheating anyway. You were seeing her behind my back the whole time you were trying to get me to say that I loved you. And you slept with her too, didn't you?"

"Whoa, you can just stop right there. Don't make this about me and try to put the blame on me as if this is my fault."

"No. I am going to make it about you because you broke a promise! You're obviously doing this just to hurt me. You're going to marry her all because she's all over you and watch me hurt over it because I haven't said three words. Just how much more heartless can you be?"

"Says you who's much too reticent for his own good. But you know what, Zayn? If the thought of me marrying her hurts you so damn much, then maybe now you'll see how it feels to be me for the past year. And that's all I have to say about any of this because this relationship over. Goodbye."

He stepped around Zayn and this time Zayn didn't even try to stop him. He just burst in tears and slowly headed back to his grandparents' house. Harry knew that he had broken up with Zayn in that moment and he also knew it was for good reason. But he still looked back before he went inside and to see Zayn with his head down in his hands, really broke his heart. No matter if they each were blaming the other, they both were hurt. It was such an awful situation to be in.

"It went badly, didn't it?" Gemma asked as soon as Harry came back inside.

"I told you not to eavesdrop, Gem."

"I didn't. I just saw him walk away crying so I guessed."

"Yeah, well. I don't care. Nothing changed. So I ended it and we're both going our separate ways now."

She saddened. "What? But you love him. You literally just cried over him a week ago before you decided you didn't want to wait anymore."

"Exactly." He snatched up his coat and headed towards the front door, making her rush to follow him. "And I'm not waiting anymore. That's why I broke it off."

"That's not the point of me bringing that up. My point is that the very fact that you cried over him means you have strong feelings for him. It's going to take a long time for you to get over him."

"So?"

"So you can pretend your feelings will just go away but I can promise you it won't be that easy."

He locked the door and they headed to his car. "Gemma. I really don't want to talk about this anymore. Can we please end it? Because I'm definitely done with this."

"For now. Until you start thinking about it again and you begin to feel guilty about what just happened between you two."

He rolled his eyes and got in the car without saying a word.

"I saw that."

"You were meant to."

Once they were in with their seatbelts fastened, he sped off out of the driveway and headed into town. Even if he was very upset with Zayn, breaking up with him was still the hardest thing to do. But the only thing that eased his mind was that he felt he did what he needed to do. Waiting for the man he loved to love him back was only causing him constant frustration so he had to find a way to end it. He took their relationship and put it into his own hands. And for him, that was some place it hadn't been in a long time.


	11. 4th Summer: Voicemail

Yaser was humming a tune when he pulled up into his driveway later that evening. But that tune died when he noticed Zayn's car in the driveway. That wasn't right. Zayn was supposed to be an hour and a half away from here. Why was he home? Was something wrong?

He hurriedly turned off the engine and got out of the car. Then he took the bag of groceries he had inside the house.

"Zayn!" He called out once he had set everything down in the kitchen. But there was no answer. "Zayn! Are you here?"

When there was still nothing but silence, he put a package containing a small trout into the refrigerator and dashed to Zayn's room. As soon as he burst inside, he stopped in his tracks because he saw his son sitting cross legged with his head in his hands.

"Zayn." He whispered. "Are you okay?"

Zayn looked up at his father and revealed red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. Not knowing what could be the matter, Yaser slowly walked over to him, sat on the bed and rubbed his back. "What's wrong? Why are you home?"

He actually expected Zayn to be very standoffish and reluctant to tell him what was wrong. But to his surprise, Zayn was ready to talk.

"He's getting married."

"What? Who's getting married?"

"Harry."

"Oh... He asked you to marry him, you mean?"

"No. He's getting married, but not to me. He's getting married to a girl named Jennifer that he apparently cheated on me with over the past year. And what's worse is she's the girl who always used to flirt with him even when I was right there."

Yaser's heart dropped to his stomach. He couldn't believe it. Was that true? "Are you sure, son?"

"Yes. We were arguing a bit as he was breaking up with me and he let it slip that he had to leave and go rent a tuxedo. I asked him if he was getting married and who he was getting married to and when I brought up jennifer, he didn't want to say yes or no."

"So how do you know it's her if he didn't say it was?"

"Because he has never willingly said her name to me becuase he knows how much I dislike her. So it's obvious it's her."

"Oh."

He burried his face in his hands again. "I don't know what to do."

He pat his back and then pulled his son onto him. "I don't know if I could tell you what to do in this situation either but what I do know is that everything will be alright."

"But it won't, daddy. It won't. The way he looked at me was like he knew that it would hurt me. He _wanted_ to hurt me."

"And why would you think that?"

"Because..." He swallowed thickly. "Because I never told him I loved him back."

When he said that, Yaser didn't really know what to do. On one hand, he was upset with Harry for how he hurt his son, but on the other hand he was confused because he couldn't understand why Zayn would keep something like that to himself all this time even after he came home last summer and was told what the consequences of keeping something like that in would be. Not wanting to blame his son or side with Harry, he chose his next question carefully. "You didn't tell him?"

"I couldn't. We live too far apart for me to just give myself to him."

"But he was also aware of the same circumstances and yet, he gave himself to you."

Zayn frowned. "Daddy, he cheated. How can you call that giving himself to me? I knew something was up when she kept coming around and he wouldn't make her go away. I just knew it. He didn't even call me or text me the whole week I was there and so I was scared because I knew something was wrong. I don't think he would've told me, daddy. If I hadn't called and asked to talk to him, he would have never told me he was getting married and that's what hurts the most." He buried his face onto his father's shirt and cried even harder. "He doesn't deserve my love. And I don't ever want to see him again."

"Ever?"

"Ever. If he wants to get married and forget about me, then I'll forget about him too."

"Did he say that?"

Zayn sat up and looked at his father. "Why do I feel like you're taking sides with him?"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are. The questions you keep asking make it seem like you don't believe Harry would do something like that. But I'm telling you he did. And the way he looked at me. It was cold. I didn't think it would ever be like this if he decided to cheat. I didn't think it would hurt so bad. I thought it would hurt less."

"Of course, it would hurt, Zayn. You love him. That's what I was trying to tell you when you asked me for advice last summer when you came home. Not saying those three words doesn't mean you don't love him. It just means you haven't vocalized it to him. By keeping something like that to yourself, you're not sparing yourself any hurt. You're only making more room for hurt to become worse."

When he said that, Zayn stood up out if his grip. "Ugh. Why are you so bad at this? I wish mom was here."

He father shook his head. Then shrugged lightly. "I don't know."

Zayn wanted to go outside to get away for a bit but it was raining outside. So he just went to the living room and sat on the floor to watch the rain from the window. Yaser just looked around the room and spotted a framed photo of his wife on Zayn's dresser. He stood up, picked it up and sighed.

"'He's right. I have no clue what to do or say about what's going on with him but you always knew. You were like superwoman. For him and for me."

He sat the photo down then folded his arms as he left the room. Instead going to talk to Zayn right away, he put on his raincoat and headed out. If there were going to be two of them home for dinner tonight, then he'd better go pick up another trout.

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
Three days later, Harry came back inside the house with a distraught look on his face. William had noticed right away.

"Are you alright, son?"

"Um... I don't know."

"Worried about something?"

"Uhm.. A little."

"Do you want to sit down and talk about it over a beer? Have some father and son bonding time?"

"I'm not old enought to drink yet."

"As if that's stopped you before. I know all about those wild parties you go to. So if you're going to drink one, you might as well drink it with me."

He chuckled. "I'm good. I don't feel much like eating or drinking anything."

"Well, then sit and talk about it. Tell me why."

Harry had stood there in thought and was really debating talking about this with William. But he really wanted to ask for his advice and he knew he did so he went ahead and sat down.

"Alright, what's on your mind?"

"It's Zayn." He admitted.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I... I think I made a mistake."

"Like..."

"Just... I said and did some really stupid things a few days ago when he asked to talk with me."

"You mean when you broke things off."

"Yes."

"But you had to, didn't you?"

"I did because it wasn't going to work out the way things were going. But that's not all. I said some other stuff that I really regret saying now that I'm looking back on it."

"Have you told him?"

"No. I want to say it in person but every time I think about going over there and knocking on the door, his car isn't there. I think he's gone."

"Gone?"

"Yes. I think he went back home for the summer."

"Did you go next door and knock to be sure?"

"No. I was about to but then I came right back in when I didn't see the car and now I'm talking to you."

"Then why don't you try anyway. If someone else answers the door, ask them and you'll know for sure. Then you can try to figure out what to do from there but you always have to start somewhere."

Harry pondered those words before nodding and standing up. "You're right. I'm going to go over there now then."

"You are?"

"Yeah. I'll see what they tell me and then go from there, I guess."

"Good. I'm glad I could help."

This time, Harry walked across the grass to the house of Zayn's grandparents and knocked. Only seconds later, the door did open.

"Oh. Hi, Harry." Zayn's Aunt said.

"Hi."

"Are you looking for Zayn?"

"Yes ma'am. Is he here?"

She shook her head. "I'm afraid not. I'm sorry. He went home a few days ago. He wouldn't say why or anything. All I know is that he was very upset and hysterical before he left."

Harry felt guilty now. Zayn was just beginning to love visiting here every summer but he had hurt Zayn so bad that he went home. "Oh. Thanks. I'll just call him then."

"You're welcome."

He walked away as she closed the door and snatched his phone from his pocket. He found Zayn in his contacts and called him but the phone rang and rang until it went to voicemail. He hung up without leaving a message and dialled again. But just like last time, it went to voicemail. He did leave a message this time.

"Zayn. I need to talk to you about what happened between us. But I only want to say it face to face. Please answer your phone. Or call me back. Either way, I'm going to keep calling you."

He called him two more times after that but this time, the phone just went straight to voicemail and didn't ring at all. Harry knew what that meant. It meant Zayn had blocked him. He rushed inside the house, but this time he was calling Gemma.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm at work. What's wrong?"

"Can you call Zayn for me?"

"What? Why?"

"Because I'm trying to talk to him but he blocked me."

"And what do I say when I reach him?"

"Tell him I really want to talk to him about what happened yesterday and that I'm sorry."

"That's all?"

"Um." He wanted to tell her more to say to him but he didn't want to tell her everything they talked about outside because he knew she would get upset. "Yes."

"Okay. I'll let you know."

"Thanks."

The line disconnected as he came back in and slowly walked through the house to the kitchen. He started to pace back and forth, clamping his thumbnail in between his teeth. Then just moments later, his phone rang. It was his sister.

"Hello?"

"Harry. I couldn't reach him."

He exhaled heavily. "You couldn't? Why not?"

"Because he blocked me too. I don't know why he would block me though. He must really be angry. I'm sorry, Harry."

"No, no. It's okay."

"What are you going to do then?"

"I don't have a choice anymore. I have to go see him at his house."

"Will you stay over?"

"Likely not. I just need to talk to him."

"Do you think he'll listen?"

"I don't know, Gem. I'll have to see. I'll never know until I try."

"And you're going now?"

"Yep."

"Well... Okay..." She answered skeptically. "Good luck."

"Thanks."

Harry hung up the phone then rushed to his room for his car keys. By the time he turned from his room and out into the hallway, William was standing in the middle of it and looking at him with a confused expression. "How did it go?"

"He went home three days ago so I've decided that I'm gonna go see him."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"But, Harry..."

"I'll be home for dinner, Willie. I promise. Can you tell mom when she gets home?"

He sighed. "Sure, but please be careful. Okay?"

"I promise I will. Love you."

"Love you too, son."

He scurried out to the car and could not think of anything better to do at the moment but to get to Zayn. He didn't mean to be in such a hurry but his brain was making his body respond this way. Everything that was said that day was a mistake. It was a silly attempt to make him understand. But it didn't work. Now he just had to see Zayn's beautiful face so he could get things straight as soon as possible.

 

* * *

  
"I promise you this will be amazing."

"I hope so, Daddy. You have a lot confidence in my puff pastry dough making skills."

His father chuckled. "Of course I do."

Zayn stirred in a wet mixture to a dry mixture in a bowl just as the doorbell rang.

"You keep making the dough. I'll answer the door."

"Okay."

He did continue what he was doing, but he stopped when he heard talking. So he came out of the kitchen and stood out of view.

"Mr. Malik. I know you're looking at me like that because you heard about what happened. But it's not what you think. I would really like to talk to Zayn about it. Is he home?"

Yaser looked next to him to see Zayn shaking his head and mouthing "no."

"Ahm. I'm afraid not. I'm sorry."

"With all due respect, sir. I know this your home. But I'm not stupid. I can see his car parked outside from where I stand. So let me rephrase this. Would he be willing to come outside? I want to apologize and talk to him. There's something I want to say about the wedding thing. But I only want to say it to him face to face and in private. That's why I drove an hour and a half to be here."

Zayn frantically shook his head and mouthed to his father once again. "No. Tell him to go away."

"I'm sure you might have something to say. But I am being honest this time. He's very upset and he has made it clear to me that he really does not want to see you or talk to you and I won't make him either because it's his decision."

"But..."

"I'm sorry, Harry. Maybe when he's ready, he'll contact you and you can tell him what you want to say."

"You think so?"

Yaser glanced at his son and he could see by the look on his face that it wouldn't be happening anytime soon if it was to happen at all. His anger was clear.

"You never know."

Zayn could hear Harry sigh from the other side. "Alright. Well... thanks anyway."

Yaser was much too stunned by what had happened to say anything back. So he just let Harry walk away and then closed the door behind him. By the time he locked it, Zayn was gone. So he went into the kitchen to find him stirring what he poured in earlier.

He watched him for a bit then reached out to touch Zayn's hand.

"Whoa. I think that's good enough. It's supposed to be a bit crumbly because it's pastry dough. Remember?"

He lowered himself down to get a closer look at Zayn's face and noticed a tear falling slowly from one of his eyes. He gently slid the spatula from his grip.

"It's okay, Zayn. Go lie down and get some rest."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. This dough has to sit in the refrigerator overnight anyway. I'll go ahead and put everything else away and get started on tonight's dinner, alright?"

But Zayn had just leaned forward and wrapped his hands around his father who wrapped his arms around him in return for the tightest hug. Many times his father was really bad at giving talks and was usually even more awful at talking about his son's love life. But one thing he was never terrible at was those tight hugs that had the ability to warm anyone on a cold a night. And that was a good thing because at the moment, that was all Zayn really needed. No words. Just silence and arms that would remind him that everything was going to be alright just the way they did eight years ago when his mother had passed away.

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
As for Harry and Zayn, Zayn never did attempt to contact him. Even on through to the Fall, Winter, Spring and the next summer. When he said he was going to forget Harry, he meant that in every way possible.

Despite there having been a year in passing, sometimes he would think about him and the things they used to share and those memories only made him so angry. But he knew that was the way it was going to be because forgetting someone he loved was hard. His main concern though was not ever seeing him again. As long as he and Harry never crossed paths, he'd be fine and he knew he would. The only problem was that life was unpredictable. And along with its unpredictableness, came something always lurking around the corner that could end up bringing people back together when they least wanted to be.


	12. Fall: Truth

"It's already freezing and Winter isn't even here yet." Zayn said as he pulled his coat closed and stepped out of the elevator.

"It's close though." Asher said. Asher was a guy who had been working with Zayn for the past year and a half but Zayn recently became his superior two weeks ago.

"I know."

"Maybe we should go get coffee after this meeting."

"Together?" Zayn asked.

"Of course."

"Hmm. Didn't you ask me to dinner a couple days ago?"

"I did. And you came, didn't you?"

"I did."

"And when I asked you to breakfast a week ago. You came, didn't you?"

"I did."

"So coffee isn't too much to ask compared to that then?"

"Coffee and?"

"Um... Coffee and deserts?"

"Yes. Of course coffee and deserts. I was wondering if you were expecting something else from me afterwards though. After all, wouldn't this make the third time? I know people sometimes expect certain things by then."

He smiled. "Oh. Not me. Just a simple coffee date. That's all I expect. Or should I say, it's all I'm asking for and want from you."

Zayn studied him a bit. Asher didn't seem like the type to lie and deceive but he had learned from his past relationship that looks never told the entire story. "Okay. Sure, then. I'll have coffee with you."

They walked through the lobby together and then down the hallways to a conference room. They opened the door and stepped right in and the few people who were already there looked at him. An older man pat him on his back.

"Mr. Malik. Or should I say, Mr. Zayn Malik so the new people don't confuse you with your father. It's nice that he's enstrusted you with a position like this within the company so young. Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"Men your age chase a lot of skirttails and are too busy already raising babies to handle business like this. You're a model for everyone else to follow."

"Um... Thanks?"

He sat his briefcase down on the floor and took a seat at one of the chairs at the table. He felt good about himself. Working with his father had turned out great and his career was headed in the right direction despite still being in his fourth year of college. Plus this guy Asher seemed to be into him in a genuine way. So there was nothing he was currently asking for. Except one thing. And that was for his new start to continue feeling new for a while. Because he really needed that feeling.

 

* * *

  
"To be honest, I was afraid people might not respect me and say I only got here because of my father." Zayn was saying when they were at the coffee shop. "Because technically I did. He had a job waiting for me when I turned eighteen."

"Yes. But you're in year four at this company now. What you have is not just because of your father. It's because of your hard work too. If you were lazy and only depended on your father to get things, you would not have lasted four years like this."

"True."

"And I'm not just saying that because you are now my boss by the way."

Zayn chuckled. "I know."

"So about the traveling. You like it?"

"Do I like begging my professor to let me make up assignments? No. I'm just lucky that it's Fall break this time."

"When you're done with school, it won't be so bad."

"I know. I think the most interesting thing about this is that I can see what my dad was doing whenever he went away for days. When I would be at home alone and have to wake myself up for school. I now know what it's like."

"Because you have a new perspective."

"Mhm." Zayn's phone suddenly vibrated in his coat pocket so he reached for it and took it out. "Speaking of my father, he's calling." Then he answered it. "Hello?"

"Hi, Zayn."

"Hi." He said in return. But he had heard how sad his father sounded. "Is something wrong?"

"Well... yes. I want you to brace yourself because I have some bad news for you."

Zayn's stomach dropped. "You do?"

"Yes. Are you sitting?"

"I am. What's wrong?"

I just got a call from your Aunt."

"Okay?"

"She said Papa died this morning."

Zayn gasped and Asher immediately reached out and touched his shoulder.

"What? How did he die?"

"He just died from old age, I guess. It was natural causes."

Zayn sat up and put his forehead in his hand. "And how is Nan taking it?"

"I'm not sure. I didn't have time to ask. They were both still at the hospital."

"Oh."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Does this mean I should get a flight home?"

"No. I told your Aunt that you were out of town on important work business but that we would both be there for the funeral."

"Okay." He said sadly.

"It's alright, Zayn. It's okay. I know death is never easy but things are going to be fine. Get some rest."

"I will."

"I'll call you tomorrow with more details."

"Okay. Talk to you then."

"Love you, Zayn."

"Love you too, daddy."

He hung up the phone and looked at Asher. He tried to hold it in but he cried anyway.

"I didn't hear everything but I do know that somebody died. I heard you say it."

He nodded. "My grandfather died."

Without a second thought, Asher pulled Zayn onto him. "I'm so sorry, Zayn. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my grandfather when I was sixteen."

"You did?"

"I did. I know having favorites isn't necessarilly a fair thing but he was my favorite grandparent. And to cope, my parents would just hold me. My mother even slept in the bed with me for two nights. Maybe some company of the same sort would help you while you're away from your family."

Zayn looked up at him with an angry expression. But Asher saw it and quickly explained more clearly what he meant by that.

"Not like that, Zayn. I merely mean to spend the night with someone. Have somebody with you so that it feels a little less like you've just lost someone. I mean... it worked for me, so..."

His expression softened until he was smiling. "Sure, Asher."

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
The next day, Zayn had heard a knock on the door of his hotel suite. When he answered it, Asher was there with yellow daisies in his hand.

"Asher. Hi."

"Hi. I bought these for you."

He took them from him. "Wow. They're so beautiful. But we're going home tomorrow. I can't bring these on the plane."

"I know that. But I still wanted you to have them to cheer you up and I'll just buy you a fresh boquet when we get home."

He giggled, then looked at them again in awe. "I appreciate the sweet gesture. You can come on in."

Asher came inside and closed the door behind him. "So... you ran out on me in the middle of the night."

Zayn sat the vase down on the table. "I... yeah."

"Why?"

"Because I hadn't intended to stay over. Especially not in your bed."

"But I didn't mind."

Zayn opened his mouth to reply right away but he had to stop and really think about how he wanted to say what he wanted to say to him without hurting him.

Falling asleep next to Asher last night actually had quite the opposite effect of what was originally intended. It brought back the times of him and someone whom he failed to even mention to Asher even once since he started working with him a year and a half ago. He thought that he might want to chance dating again because of how genuine Asher seemed to be. But he wasn't as ready as he thought. Only bad memories came to mind and since it was up to him, he wanted no parts of any activity that would keep digging them up.

"Listen... I'm sorry I ran out on you. That wasn't very nice of me. But there's um... There's a good explanation for that. I... The thing is... Well..."

Right on time, his ringtone rescued him from having to answer right away. "Excuse me. It might be important."

Zayn went into the bedroom and then closed the door behind him. So Asher just sat on the couch to wait patiently for him. As he sat, he thought about what had just happened. Something about the way Zayn was hesitant about giving him a reason did not sit right with him. He felt that maybe some sort of rejection was coming. That maybe Zayn had appreciated how nice he was but didn't want to actually date him. Those thoughts made him so anxious that when Zayn opened the door, he quickly stood to his feet. And to make things worse, just like yesterday, Zayn was crying.

"Is everything alright, Zayn?"

He his shook his head. "No, I have to go."

"You do?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"Are you coming back here?"

"No. I'm going home."

"Home? I don't understand. It's not me, is it?"

"No. Something terrible happened. There's been a death in my family. Another one."

Asher looked confused. Zayn said someone had died yesterday so he didn't know whether he was making that up to get away from him or not. "There has?"

"Yes. My Nan died."

He gasped. "Is that your grandfather's wife?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Wow. That's terribly sad. I'm so sorry you're having so much tragedy lately."

"Me too. Can you cover for me?"

"Sure. I have a copy of your notes and I'll let them know you lost someone in death."

Zayn reached out and hugged him. "Thank you so much. And I promise when I get back, we can go out, have dinner somewhere together and talk about us."

"Us?

"Mhm."

Asher smiled. "I'll just take the flowers to my room and leave them for the maid then. But I'll have some more for you when you get back."

"That's generous of you. Thank you. But first, let me take a picture of them so I can have a photo memory of them."

"Okay."

He ran to the bedroom for his phone then came out and took a picture. "There."

Asher smiled in amusement as he grabbed the vase of flowers and went to the door. "See you when you get back. I hope all goes well."

"Me too. Thanks."

When the door closed behind him, he smiled to himself. _Us._ Zayn had referred to them as _us._ So maybe he was wrong. Maybe he wasn't about to be rejected. Maybe Zayn was trying to get his thoughts together so he could talk about how he wanted to be with him too.

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
When Zayn's Aunt opened the door to Zayn and Yaser, she lunged foward and hugged them so tightly. She hadn't been crying at first but by the time she let go, she was.

"I'm so sorry." Yaser whispered.

"No, no. Don't apologize. There was nothing you could do. You two come on in. Get out of the cool air."

As soon as they came in, Zayn gave way to tears as well. And the two of them just cried on each other.

"You uplifted her, Zayn. Your young spirit did so much for her. She loved you even when she didn't really get to know you as well as she wanted until you were grown up. Papa too. Even though I know he hardly ever said much."

"And they appreciated you taking care of them too." He told her. "Even if sometimes it didn't seem like it."

"I know."

In that moment, it was no secret that they were both trying to comfort the other. But this was why Zayn wanted to be with her. He had dealt with the loss of a parent before. And even if they would do nothing but cry together for these next few days, at least he was there for them to be that for each other.

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
While Zayn and his father were there, his Aunt did nothing but cook food. Even though they knew well that it wouldn't be eaten, they didn't say a word nor try to stop her. Apparently it was something very therapeutic for her. And it must've worked because by the time the funeral had taken place, she felt so much better.

As for Zayn, he expected to cry more leading up to the day. But he had actually maintained his composure for the most part. It wasnt until he'd seen his Papa be burried next to his Nan that he let out his true emotions. Everyone else was in the house having a meal and trying to enjoy the company of family for the first time without the two members who made everyone else in the family possible. He was sitting outside at the doorstep by himself with his face in his hands as he sobbed.

Then suddenly someone said something to him. "I'm so sorry about your grandparents."

When Zayn looked up, he saw Harry standing over him with his hands behind his back. To be very honest, he hadn't really thought about him since he arrived here. And he didn't think he needed to be thinking about him because he assumed the chances of seeing him would be low after he'd gotten married. He figured he would have moved out and away by now.

"They were really sweet people. I'm going to miss them."

Zayn didn't try to say anything so Harry took it upon himself to sit down next to him. Zayn just wiped his eyes, still watching him carefully.

"When I first heard about it, all I could think about was you. I know about your mother and... I was really worried about you."

Worried? He didn't think that would ever happen after the way things ended over a year ago.

"I'm fine."

"Come on, we both know that's not the whole truth. Look at you. You're not crying for nothing."

Without asking, he pulled Zayn onto him and put his arms around him. That seemed to open Zayn up even though he didn't want to talk.

"Daddy and I always knew."

"Knew what?"

"That if one of them died, then the other would die not too much longer after that. I just didn't expect it to be like this."

"I know... I know."

"Harry, she suffered. She spent the next twenty four hours after he died worrying what life would be like without him. She worried so much that it turned into anxiety and she gave herself a heart attack. I just... I don't know."

Harry pushed his hands through his hair. "She really loved him."

"She did. She literally loved him to death. Not a lot of people know what that's like, I guess. To love someone that deeply."

After he said that, he suddenly remembered who he was talking to and he reached around him and took Harry's arm from around him. Harry looked dejected but Zayn didn't even look back as he went inside, closed the door and locked it.

That night he cried a whole lot more. But this time it was definitely not because he had lost his grandparents.

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
"How are you feeling today?" Zayn's Aunt asked when he finally came out into the living room early in the day. She was smiling and if he was being honest, she looked better than he himself did.

"I'm alright. It took me a while to get to sleep last night."

"Would you like some coffee to help wake you up?"

"I don't drink coffee, remember?"

"Oh. That's right. Well... I have an orange soda."

He nodded. "I'll take that. Thank you. But I mostly think I need a bit of fresh air. It's been a long Fall break."

Yaser was sat at the table and looking over some figures on a sheet of paper. "If you would like some fresh air, you could always do your Aunt a favor and check the mail for her." He said.

"Yeah. I could do that."

He went to his room and put on shoes and then grabbed a jacket because it was a bit chilly out. Then he slowly made his way outside to the mailbox. When he checked it, nothing was inside but he did hear heavy footsteps coming his way.

He looked up and when he'd only stepped a few feet from the mailbox, Harry was up on him. He gasped.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I only came out to make an errand for mom but I saw you outside. I um... I wanted to talk to you if I could."

"You can't. Because I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Right now? So... what about tomorrow?"

"No, I'm going home tomorrow." Zayn tried to go around him but Harry stepped in front of him.

"Then we need to talk now."

"I don't want to talk to you."

 Once again, Zayn tried to go around him but Harry stopped him by grabbing him. "But you need to. And you _will_ talk to me. You've been avoiding me all this time but you're going to hear what I have to say."

"Oh, I will? I'm going to? How do you figure that? You must plan on making me."

"Zayn, please. I'm serious."

He huffed in annoyance. "Ugh, why can't you just leave me alone, Harry? What do you want to say to me so badly  that you think it's worth my time even listening?"

He looked at him sheepishly as if the admission that was about to follow was wrong. "I still love you."

Zayn frowned and snatched his arm from Harry's grip. "Stop it, okay? I'm not here for this. I just had a tragedy in my family."

"I know you did. And I want to be there for you. I know about how you lost your mother and I can't bear seeing you sad. I really do still love you, Zayn. I still think about you every day."

He folded his arms. "Oh really? And what does your wife have to say about that? Jennifer must find it so great that you're still in love with the boy she stole you from."

He shook his head and put his keys in his back pocket. "No. See, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. That's what I was trying to tell you all this time. I never got married."

That took Zayn by surprise. "What..."

"I didn't get married, Z. She didn't steal me from you. And I never cheated on you with her either. We were just friends. I never slept with her or asked her to marry me at all."

As he said those words Zayn was trying to put things together. "You're lying."

"I'm not. See?" He held up his left hand and sure enough, there was no wedding band. But that didn't always mean a man wasn't married.

"You're still lying."

"I'm not though."

"You were renting a tuxedo the day we broke up. When I asked you if you were getting married, you said yes."

"No I didn't say yes. I never said yes and I never said it was Jennifer either. I just didn't deny it when you assumed."

Zayn scrunched up his face. "Huh?"

"I can assure you I ever liked her in a more than friends way ever again after you and I officially became a couple. Even when you weren't around. I just couldn't do that to you. I really loved you and wanted to be loyal to you. And the tuxedo thing... That- that wasn't for me. That was for Arty. He got engaged to Marina and asked me to be in the wedding. I said yes. So I was on my way to rent a tuxedo. I swear that was it. Nothing more."

When he finished speaking, he swallowed thickly and watched Zayn carefully to see what he would do. Zayn was trying hard to compose himself but it really wasn't working because the anger was starting to build.

"Are you really saying that when you didn't deny it, your intention was to make me _think_ you were getting married to her even though you knew you weren't?"

He stumbled over his words. "Well, yes but... But not to hurt you. I was trying to get you to understand how I felt and prod you to be more honest with me. But a few days after I said it, I realized that it didn't accomplish anything except hurt you and push you away. I don't know what I was thinking when I said that. But then again, I'm hardly ever thinking on all cylinders when I'm with you-"

His words were cut short when Zayn used two hands to push him backwards. He stumbled and fell.

"HOW COULD YOU?!"

"Z, I'm sorry." He said as he frantically rose to his feet.

"You're sorry? That's all you have to say?! You let me think that you cheated on me while we were together! You let me think that you went and got married to the girl I never liked from the start!"

"I know!"

"You know?!"

"Yes! Because I thought it was the only way to get you to understand!"

"How could you think that?!"

"Because you were always so afraid to tell me how you really felt! I never wanted to rush you into saying it. I wanted you to take your time. But you just took advantage of my patience! It wasn't that you weren't ready or didn't love me. It was clear you loved me. You just didn't wanna ever say it because you didn't trust me enough to say it. I dealt with your trust issues for a while because I loved you but it still hurt so fucking much, Zayn."

Zayn balled his fists up against his sides. "And so your idea was to make me hurt too?! To make me think you had fallen in love with someone else even when you knew I loved you back?! Gosh, Harry. I really can't believe you!"

Zayn's lips trembled and he just stood in place with his hands over his eyes as he cried. If Harry was unmarried and still in love with him, that would make them both unmarried and in love with each other. This was not the right time to come to that realization. "I hate you so much."

"You hate me?"

"I'm in love with an idiot who thought telling me he was marrying someone else would get me to say I loved him. Of course I hate you."

"Wait. I'm confused. Are you in love with me or do you hate me?"

"Shut up. I hate you because I really wanted to forget you over the past year and I couldn't. I went all that time loving you when I thought you didn't love me anymore and that hurt."

"So... you don't hate me?"

"Yes!"

"Yes, you hate me or yes you don't hate me?"

Zayn just looked at him. He couldn't believe it. It had been over a year now. It had been over a year that he spent crying and trying to forget the past three summers. He couldn't even enjoy the feeling of genuinely being liked by someone good at heart for thinking about someone who had broken his. And for what? For him to be led right back to the place it all began and find out that his heartbreak was never based on anything real?

He had to say that may have hurt worse than believing that Harry was married. Because all this time Harry still loved him when he thought he was no longer loved by him. This was _his_ Harry and he was standing right here in front of him and telling him he loved him and still wanted to be with him. This was the man who showed an interest in him and became his first kiss before later becoming his first everything. He was even the beholder of Zayn's virginity. No wonder it was difficult to forget him over the past year.

Even after all that Harry had done to him with the lying and the trickery, it didn't make him a bad person. Zayn knew that his heart was still good and full of love and admiration for him and he couldn't help but think of all the times he proved it.

Like during those nights when he felt down about not having his mother there to talk about relationships and everyday life. Harry would hold him or talk about the most random things to make sure his mind was always busy with something else. And then he remembered returning the favor whenever Harry was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the things going on his own life. Zayn would hold him and kiss his temple because he found it eased Harry's mind. And then there were those times when neither of them were even aware that they were anxious until the other's tender touch reminded them of just how calming and satisfying it really could be. Even if Zayn never said the three words, they still felt each other's love for one another zipping through from the tips of their fingers to their partner's skin in a feeling so electric, the hairs stood up. He missed that.

He missed Harry, really. He missed him the moment he fell asleep in Asher's bed. Asher was warm and caring but it just wasn't the same and it never would be. Not as long as he was capable of recalling the memories he had of Harry.

He went so long thinking Harry had gotten married. He went all that time thinking he lost him to someone else. He thought Harry could easily fall in love with someone else. But he was wrong. He was so wrong and for once, he was glad he was wrong. Knowing that, he looked at Harry sadly then leaned foward to hug him tightly.

It had caught Harry by complete surprise so at first he just stood there with his muscles tensed. But finally when he understood Zayn wasn't trying to hurt him, he did let his arms down around him to hug him back. The second Zayn felt Harry's arms on his waist and face in his neck, he cried even harder.

"I'm sorry." Harry whispered. "I was wrong to lie like that."

"And I was wrong to not tell you how I felt about you. If I had just told you..."

"It's okay."

"But it's not." Zayn pulled back to look at him. "You really wanted me to tell you how I felt. But I was so afraid to say it because I didn't understand."

"What didn't you understand?"

"Why you loved me. Why do you love me? Why do you even like me? I have nothing new to give you. I never did. You were my first everything and I was your first nothing."

"The first person I ever loved."

"Ugh, it's not the same."

"Why not?"

"Because you could've loved anyone."

He frowned down at him. "But why does that matter at all? I chose you."

"Why, though? Why? I'm so boring. I don't really like trying new things that might get me in trouble. I'm always a downer when you want to have fun. I don't even have friends for you to meet like you did for me."

"So?"

Zayn just shook his head and faced downward. But Harry was saddened by that. A whole relationship was ruined by _I love you's_ that were either said or not said and this was the basis of that ruination? That Zayn didn't think he was good enough for him? He wished he had known that before he went and tried to punish Zayn with the threat of marrying someone else. He would've taken more time to find out how to solve it.

"None of that matters to me. I think we can make it work again."

"How?"

"Well, let's see. Do you still have strong feelings for me?"

Zayn looked at him. "I do." He mumbled.

"And I still love you. So that's a good start. Are you seeing anyone currently?"

"Well..." He didn't want to tell him yes, even though he kind of was seeing Asher. So he lied. "No."

"And neither am I. And you know I'm not married. So now there's really just one question left. If none of that stuff had ever happened between us, would you still want to be with me till this day?"

He nodded. "Yes. I wouldn't have a reason not to want to be."

"And I feel the same way about you. So I think that's all that matters at the moment. We don't have to know the reasons why. We just have to know that we still really care about each other and that we do love each other and that we want to be together even after all of that. Because we both still want to be with each other. Right?"

Zayn wrapped his arms around Harry's neck but didn't say anything.

"Right?" Harry asked again.

Instead of answering, Zayn pushed one of his hands into Harry's hair and pressed his forehead to his. Then with his other hand, he dragged his fingertips over Harry's lips. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. So much."

"Enough that you would be okay with kissing me again?"

He smiled. "Absolutely."

"Good."

He leaned forward and kissed Harry and he kissed him slowly to remind himself of what it was like. It had been so long since he tasted his lips and experienced what it was like to feel the softness of his tongue and he wanted to savor it. But soon, the soft kissing had changed and there was desperation and eagerness all over it. But not from Harry. He wanted to be able to take Zayn in. So he actually turned sideways out of the kiss to laugh at Zayn.

"I don't know what to say."

Zayn kissed his cheek and then his neck a couple times.

"Whoa, there." Harry chuckled out.

He stopped and burried his face in his neck. "I'm sorry. It just feels like I'm making up for all the lost time. I don't know what I'm doing. I just missed you and I never got to really show you how I feel. I want to make it up. But I wanna do it differently from this."

He placed his hands firmly on his waist. "You can still do that. I distinctly remember we once made plans together."

"We did?"

"Oh, yeah. Christmas break before I changed my mind about coming. Remember when we talked about privacy?"

Zayn pulled back and then looked at him in suprise. "Really?"

"Yes. But only if I'm reading the situation right. I feel like I am. Am I?"

He giggled as he looked back toward the house. "You are but... I don't want you to feel rushed if you're not ready for something like this again with me. I can wait."

"But I don't feel rushed. I know it's been a very long time since we both..." He shrugged. "You know."

Zayn raised his brow. "You haven't either?"

Harry didn't say yes or no. "Moving on from a relationship isn't as easy as it looks. Not even when you're the one to end it."

Zayn twisted his mouth sideways and then glanced back at both houses. "Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Let's go."

"To a hotel?"

"Yes. A hotel. What else would it be?" He kissed him once more then hurriedly pulled Harry towards his car. "Come on."

Harry smiled, then took his keys from his back pocket. "I'm coming, I'm coming."


	13. Fall: Love

"Yaser."

"Yes?"

"Have you seen Zayn? His orange soda is getting hot on the kitchen counter."

Yaser raised his brow at his former sister-in-law. "You mean he hasn't come back in yet?"

"I checked his room and he isn't there. So I don't think so."

Yaser hummed. "Hmm. I guess he really did take that advice and got some fresh air. I'll go check on him."

He stood up and quickly went outside to call him in. But when he went outside, he didn't see him anywhere.

"Zayn!"

No one answered. So he called again. "Zayn!"

For a second time, there was only silence. He could see that Zayn's car was still there, so he peeked around the side of the house. "Zayn, are you out here?!"

"Your son is missing too, huh?"

Yaser faced the house next to him and saw Anne coming outside her house with her keys in her hand and purse on her arm. He hesitated at first, finding it awkward to talk to her, knowing the history between their sons.

"Yes. It appears so. I sent him to check the mail a half hour ago and he hasn't come back in."

But she didn't seem to think the atmosphere was awkward at all. In fact, she even laughed. "I know how you feel. Thirty minutes ago, I sent Harry out to the post office to pick up a package I'm expecting. The post office is literally four minutes up the road and you would think if he volunteered to drive there and pick it up for me, that he would be right back. Apparently not."

Yaser turned his head sideways. "That's interesting."

She opened her car door. "It is?"

"Sure. I mean, think about it. Your son is missing. My son is missing. They both apparently came outside just a half hour ago where they likely met and now Harry's car is gone."

She put her hand on her chest. "And what are you suggesting? That something bad has happened to both of them?"

"No, no. Of course not. Not like that. I think they're safe."

She chuckled softly. "So you think they're somewhere together then."

He folded his arms. "Would I be wrong to assume?"

She looked at him and then shook her head. "Actually, no, Mr. Malik. You wouldn't. But if what you're hinting at is what I think you're hinting at, that is a thought I would like to avoid."

"So would I. My son knows how important marriage is. That's why he spent the past year crying over one and I know that he would never willingly be the cause of infidelity unless he was talked or tricked into it. I just hope that Harry understands what his actions could do to my son."

She seemed offended and walked over in the grass to meet him. "Excuse me? If you're trying to say they went and eloped, then you are so very wrong. My son also understands the importance of commitment and marriage. No matter how much we loved to see them together, what Zayn and Harry had is long over. I assume the only reason he has for wanting to see Zayn is that he understands the tragedy he just went through and wants to comfort him."

"Hmm. That would be great. But isn't eloping an odd thing to bring up for someone who is already married?"

"Who's already married?"

"Harry is."

She found that comical. "Harry? Married? That's funny. Harry isn't married." Then she saddened. "He hasn't even dated anyone to consider getting married. To be honest, he has not been the same since the day he and Zayn broke up. He graduated this summer and went looking for a new job so he could quit that awful liquor store. A week ago, he did get an offer for two different locations which he's been asked to choose from by the end of next week. I don't know which locations they are specifically because he never told me. I just know one of them made him cry. I think it has something to do with Zayn but I'm not sure in which way. I only know he still loves him."

Yaser had to think about her words. "Whoa. Okay. Wait, wait, wait. So... he's not married?"

She looked confused. "Of course not. He hasn't even been engaged before. I'm don't understand what in the world gave you that idea."

He shook his head and put his hands behind his back. "I guess... I guess I don't know either."

She looked at her watch. "Well, I know that even if they are together right now, Harry is only being a gentleman. They're probably having a chat about the past or something. But regardless, they will be back."

As she walked off and got inside her car, Yaser stuffed his hands in his pockets and headed back inside. Of course he expected they would be back but if Harry really wasn't married, how would things be? He could only hope their latest interaction would not yield another broken heart for Zayn. Especially when he hadn't yet fully recovered from the first one.

➡️➡️➡️

  
"Wanna put it on me?" Harry asked.

Zayn sat up in the bed and watched him pop open a cap of body oil they found in the bathroom. "Put it on you?"

"Only if you want." He held the bottle out to Zayn who took it from him.

"Sure. But I'm actaully a bit worried." He admitted.

"You are?"

"Yes. I am."

"But why? It's called body oil for a reason. It's made to go on your body. I think we're fine."

Zayn put some of the oil in his hand and then began to rub it over Harry's dick. "That's not what I'm worried about. It's what'll happen between us when we leave this hotel that I'm worried about."

Harry huffed and looked at him with a bothered expression. "Z."

"What?"

"I can't enjoy this when you're talking about something that can wait until tomorrow. But this boner I have. It's kind of a _now_ problem."

Zayn stopped rubbing him. "Or you're just thinking with your dick."

"Is that supposed to be a bad thing right now? Cause at the moment, I'm trying to think with it inside you. Can I do that?"

He chuckled then extended his body and neck upwards to kiss him. "This is only my second time with you. But I think I like it when you're excited. It makes me feel special."

Harry pushed him backwards on the bed and spread his legs. "I like it too. But when you're excited for me, I mean."

Zayn hummed when Harry finally put it in. "Good. Because I would like to request that you don't take it slow. I'm not looking for it to last as much as I want the ending."

Harry stood in place then chuckled down at him. "Wow."

"What?"

"You're still you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you still have that look of innocence when you're naked. But you're not and never ever will be innocent again."

"Thanks to you."

"You're welcome." As soon as the last syllable left his mouth, he gave him one big thrust and went for it.

Right away, Zayn felt a warmth course all through his body. It traveled from his stomach down to his toes and then all the way up to his chest. When it stopped there and didn't go anywhere else, he knew right away what it was. It was the same feeling he hid inside him for so long. It was the same feeling that got them both in all the trouble they were in and still hadn't yet fully gotten out of. It was love. And it was so full inside his heart that he thought it would explode.

Though knowing what the feeling was, it was still so hard to comprehend that he was capable of manifesting such a feeling within himself for someone else. He'd actually grown to love someone and not just that, but that someone loved him back just as hard. Or maybe even more. Actually... _Definitely_ more. Harry had loved him even before he loved him back. He loved him when he knew Zayn loved him back and refused to say it. And he loved him even when they were no longer together. Even when he tried to do otherwise, he loved Zayn unconditionally even up till now.

Zayn hadn't intended to, but only when Harry briefly hit a certain spot did he moan out loudly. Though it could've been taken as rude, Harry appreciated the lack of discretion and courtesy of their neighbors. It was sexy and only made him aim to hear it many more times.

He had thrust into him harder a few more times and when Zayn cursed him out and arched his back a little, he leaned over him with a smug smile. "This view though."

"Shut up."

The next thrust came considerably harder than the rest and Zayn laughed. "Ah! Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Punish me for saying things."

"I do?"

"Yes. You did it all the time."

"My intentions aren't to punish you."

"Well it feels like that."

Harry stopped. "Is that so?"

"It is."

Harry pulled out slowly and then palmed Zayn's dick, making sure to apply a little pressure. He was still leaning over him. "The closest you've ever gotten to a proper punishment from me is me over the phone telling you not cum yet. Which you still did anyway because you're not very good at stopping it, apparently."

"I couldn't help it."

"Oh, I know. You said that every time."

"Because it's true."

"And I believe you. But now since you brought it up, I get to show you a bit of what I consider punishment to be."

"And how will you do that?"

"Well, I can't do much more than this at the moment because unfortunately when I first got the idea to tie you down in a hotel room, I ended up cancelling that visit. So I didn't come prepared with anything to tie you with."

Zayn gasped. "So those were your original plans when for Christmas then."

"Mostly."

"Tying me down on just my second time though? Don't you think that's a little too much?"

"Actually with your mouth, I don't think it's quite enough. But what I'm about to do will have to do for now."

Zayn started to laugh, but it was cut very short when Harry started to move his hand at a speed that gave off the impression that he had a purpose. Zayn gasped and bit his lip. He wasn't expecting this today but it felt amazing and he closed his eyes and moaned up into the air.

"You like it?"

He nodded.

"Good."

Harry had silently continued until he noticed Zayn fully relax under him. Then suddenly he yanked his hand away and stood up so that no part of his body touched Zayn.

Zayn frowned and opened his eyes up at him. "What are you doing? What was that?"

Harry said nothing.

"Harry, come on..."

But Harry only stood looking down at him.

"That's not fair. You cannot do this to me."

"Yes I can."

He then returned with his hand on Zayn's dick in the same manner as before. And just as Zayn got into it again, he stopped, stood back and looked down at him.

"Don't tell me this is some kind of game for you. I swear if you're trying to deny me an orgasm as your idea of punishment, I will bail on this altogether and do it myself."

"Is that what you think?"

"I know."

"Well go ahead. Do it yourself." Harry backed away and stood back to observe him.

Zayn watched him carefully because he knew what Harry was going for. He was allowing him to try it for a reason. But Zayn just couldn't resist. He was still waiting for the final result. He was able to get his hands around himself and stroke himself a few times before Harry took his hand and pinned it to the bed.

Zayn sighed impatiently. He knew this would happen. "Just like our first time, huh?"

"I don't know. Is it?"

"You wouldn't let me touch myself then and you won't now. So yes."

"Or you could try again and test your theory."

"Why? So you can pin my other hand?"

"Will I? Try it and see."

Zayn didn't even want to attempt it. But if this was a game Harry wanted to play, then he would only do what he wanted just to get it over with so they could finish what they really came here for.

He touched himself and was surprised that he actually went double the amount of time as last time before Harry pinned him down.

"So predictable." He said with a roll of his eyes.

"I am?"

"Yes. And you got what you wanted which was for me to be defiant in some sort of way so you have a reason to fuck me hard. I know that's what you want."

"You know?"

"Yes. I know you."

"Or do you?"

Zayn was about to respond but the next thing he knew, he was being picked up from the bed. He wrapped his legs around Harry's waist as an instant reaction but he briefly had the wind knocked out of him when his back slammed against the wall with a loud thud.

"Here?" Zayn asked as his body was being wedged in between them and his legs being pushed upward and pried open.

"Here."

"Seriously?"

"You mean you didn't know? I thought I was predictable."

Zayn was kind of holding his own weight up by using the fancy little cabinet which the microwave and refrigerator was stored in. But Harry was doing so much more of the work and he was holding Zayn in a way that felt like he had done this before. He finally pushed his dick inside Zayn again and this time he did not stop to tease him or anything.

Zayn was in a daze because he was half in the thought of how great it felt to finally  have Harry inside him again without any games and then the other half was just him still fathoming actually being fucked against the wall like this.

His breaths were short and heavy and he cursed at Harry in moans so loud that he feared whoever was next door might actually come beating on the door if they didn't beat on the wall first.

They went on this way a few more moments when Zayn said his name.

"Harry, I..."

He was going to tell him to stop before hotel management ended up paying them a visit. However, he could never get the words out because Harry took him by surprise when he came inside him and he liked the way it felt. And even then Harry didn't let up fucking Zayn until he too came a minute or so later.

"Can we never stop?" Zayn asked absentmindedly but he groaned when Harry did anyway.

"Never stop? I don't know about that, babe."

He pulled out and backed up towards the bed until he fell backwards on it with Zayn on top. But Zayn used his hand to put Harry inside him again and he rode him.

"Whoa." Harry said. "That's hot."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I love you this way."

"You do?"

"Oh yeah."

He turned Zayn over on his back and though low on energy, still gave Zayn what he was asking for. And then he gradually slowed down until he eventually stopped and pulled out again.

Zayn pulled him back on him and tried kissing him but Harry giggled into his mouth. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too."

"Oh, and by the way, I love you."

Zayn took a moment to answer but not because he didn't want to say it. He just couldn't believe he was really returning it for the first time. "I love you too."

Harry smiled lovingly at him then lay back, facing the ceiling, "Did you wanna check out early and go back home or stay?"

"If we go home, we wouldn't be able to enjoy our time the way we want to. But if we stay here, we have the rest of the day together. So we should stay and soak it all up. Don't answer the phones or anything."

Harry hummed. "Somehow I knew you would say that. That's why I chose a hotel with room service."

Zayn draped an arm around him. "Look at you thinking ahead."

"Of course."

"Speaking of thinking ahead, though. We're going to have to talk about what today means for me and you."

Harry sighed. "But not today, Zayn. I told you we should wait until tomorrow. I really think that will be best."

"But I leave tomorrow."

"I know. But that won't be until later. We'll have time. We will."

Zayn sat up and looked down sadly at him. He said nothing.

"Z, please don't look at me like that. I would love to talk about it as soon as possible just like you. But I can't think right now. We just made love and you're asking me to discuss the troubles we went through. That's not fair to either of us."

Zayn looked apprehensive at him. "Is that what we did?"

"Yes. We definitely went through troubles. I don't know if you remember but we were arguing quite a bit before we officially broke up."

"No. That's not what I mean. I'm saying what we just did... that was me and you making love?"

He thought for a moment then propped himself up on his elbow. "Well... yeah. I would say so. Maybe it wasn't slow and passionate but it definitely qualifies."

Zayn chuckled, then lay back down next him. "Wow. So I've just experienced love making then. I guess you really are my first everything."

"Even after all this time."

"Even then."

Just as Harry pulled Zayn over to him for a kiss, his cell phone rang. But he didn't even bother to stop and answer it. The only thing he wanted to do was lie naked with Zayn and enjoy his company. He really had missed him so much while he was away and the rest of this night would only be spent showing him just how much.


	14. Fall: Flowers

The next morning when Zayn woke up, he heard rattling next to him. He could see that Harry was sitting at the little table in the room and opening a package of granola bars.

"Harry." He called through a sleepy voice.

"Wow. Look who is awake."

He giggled quietly. "Too bad. I didn't want to wake up."

"But then you wouldn't be able to see my beautiful face this morning."

Zayn laughed. "Oh shut up. What are you up so early for?"

"Early? It's not really early. It's ten thirty."

"Oh. It is?"

"Yes."

"Why does it feel so early then?"

"Because no one likes getting out of bed the next day when the sex was good the night before."

"Then why are you up and dressed? Are you saying I wasn't good?"

He took a bite of the granola bar. "No. You're going back home today. Plus we ran off without telling anybody anything. Our families are definitely looking for us."

Zayn groaned. "Oh yeah. I guess that's a very good reason to go ahead and get up." He sat up even though he didn't want to.

"Unfortunately, we brought no clothes when we skipped out so we'll have to get dressed in what we wore yesterday and worry about clothes later. I still showered though."

"Mhm."

"Also, I had to go down stairs and get us toothbrushes and stuff. They're cheap in quality but we'll only use it one time anyway."

"Did you get me one of those too?" He asked, gesturing his head to the granola bar he was eating.

"Yeah. I wanted to bring eggs and waffles up too but that's something you have to eat hot in order to fully enjoy it and I already know it would've been cold by the time we finished getting ready."

Zayn stood up out of the bed and stretched. "Yeah. Plus we don't have that kind of time anyway. We have to get back before our parents kill us."

"Tell me about it. Mom called me again this morning but I didn't answer the phone because I thought she might start screaming at me. I wasn't ready for that."

He sighed then collected his clothes from around the floor in the room. That's what happens when you ignore them."

"I know."

Zayn dragged himself inside the bathroom to get himself cleaned and clothed. It only took him twenty minutes or so and when he came outside, Harry handed him a package of granola bars.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

They didn't dally around too much longer. Instead they checked out of the hotel and headed straight home. The drive was short. So Harry specifically chose to wait until they were parked in his driveway before he started the conversation.

"So... we should talk." He said.

"Yes. We should. But I thought you were trying to avoid it."

He took off his seat belt and faced him in the seat. "No. I wasn't trying to avoid it. I just wanted a better environment. That's why I said I didn't want to talk last night. Plus you left me no energy to think seriously anyway."

Zayn smiled and he took off his seat belt so he could face him too. "Okay, I'll get right to the point. I just want to know what this means for us even if it means nothing. Cause I know this was so spur of the moment and I'm... I'm not really expecting anything right away, so..."

"You're not?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I came here for my grandparents' funeral. Not to get back together with you. So I don't expect anything. And not just that. If I was expecting something with you, I would have to take care of something in my own life."

"Something like..."

"You know... something necessary if you want to date someone."

Harry sighed and looked out the front window. "Well, I know you well so that must mean you're already seeing someone then."

Zayn lowered his head. "Sort of. But not really. We only went on three dates together. I was literally trying to get out the words to tell him we wouldn't work out when I got the call about Nan dying. After that, I couldn't get myself together enough to tell him how I felt so I told him we would go to dinner and talk about us when I got back. Then I flew home so I could ride here with daddy."

"Oh."

"Listen." Zayn found himself defending himself even though he wasn't being accused of anything. "It wasn't anything. Asher is very sweet. He really is and he has good intentions." He yanked his phone out of his pocket and found himself going to his photos. "See, this is the bouquet of daisies he bought me when Papa died. It was lovely. But I wasn't ready to move on yet. We haven't even kissed yet. Well, I kissed his cheek before I left but only because I could see he was anxious about me and I wanted to calm him."

"So you liked the daisies?" He said, puposely ignoring Zayn's point.

"Yes. I did."

"Good."

Zayn was taken back by that. "Good?"

"Yes."

"Why is that good? Another man gave me those daisies."

"He gave them to you because your grandparents passed away."

"But we both know there were deeper reasons than just that. He wants to date me."

"So?"

"You don't care?"

"No, I do care. Just not enough to be upset. Zayn, I'm the one who broke it off with you. We weren't together anymore. So you could see whoever you wanted to see and you weren't wrong to do that. Just like I could've."

"But you didn't."

"Because it was different. You tried to move on because you were under the impression that you had no choice since you thought I had moved on and gotten married. But I couldn't move on because I knew I decieved you knowingly. And I damn near lost you because of it. Who knows? I may already have."

He shook his head. "No. You didn't. You never did. That's why Asher and I will never work out." He saddened. "There was that night when I got the call that Papa died. Asher invited me to his hotel room just to lie in his bed for the night. I did go but I couldn't take it and I left in the middle of the night. When I woke up, all I could think about was you and how he wasn't you. You and I used to do that. Now it was me and some guy I only dated three times. Then when he brought me flowers the next day, I knew for sure that was it. I knew I didn't want to date him."

Harry was confused. "What? Why not? I thought you liked the flowers."

Zayn whined. "I did. I loved the flowers. But I don't want someone who buys me flowers. I want you because you're the one that I love. Not him." He leaned against the door and sighed. He was so frustrated but he couldn't cry for some reason.

After a few seconds, Harry finally reached over and pat his leg. "It's okay, Z. I understand. I also find it relieving that you were thinking about me when I was thinking about you."

He sat up. "You were?"

"Yeah, it's true. Last week I finally got offered a great position at one of the companies I applied for when I graduated. And it suprised me because I know a lot of people never get hired in fields they went to school for but I did. But the thing is, they had two openings at two different locations. One was a city just north of this city and the other one was in your city. When I got those offers, I literally went home and I cried. All I could think about was you and what we had. I saw your face when you turned away from me the day we broke up and I realized that was the last time I heard your voice. I walked away because I expected you to say something that would change my mind. But you didn't. And I was realizing just how much it was too late to hope you ever wanted to."

Zayn had to take a moment to take in his words. "But... did you accept one of those offers?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. I have to choose my location by the end of the week if I accept the job."

"Will you accept it?"

"Yes. At first I made up my mind that I was going to choose the city north of here because it's closest to home. But now that this has happened..."

Zayn shook his head. "No. Don't. I know what you're going to say."

"What?"

Zayn shook his head, then opened the car door and got out. Harry followed him.

"Come on, Z."

"No. Because I know what you're going to say."

"What am I going to say?"

He stopped and turned to face him. "You're going to say you might think about choosing the offer near me. But I don't want you to. If you were doing it for you, then fine. But you're not. It's for me. And I will not encourage you."

"Then don't."

"I won't."

"Good."

They just stood there looking at each other until Zayn finally shook his head and folded his arms.

"What?"

"You want me to."

"Want you to what?"

"You know exactly what you want me to do. You want me to encourage you to choose the workplace near me."

"And why would I want you to do that?"

"For the same reason you lied and told me you were getting married."

"I didn't tell you that."

"But you let me believe it. And you only did that because you wanted me to go chasing after you. Be honest. How did you imagine it would go when you walked away? Was it like _'Harry! Get back here! I am not gonna let you leave me and marry her!'"_ Then he put his hand to Harry's cheek and spoke softer as he pretended to cry. "Or was it more like. _'Oh Harry, I love you so much. Don't ever leave me. I'm so sorry, baby. Please come back.'"_

Harry raised his brow and removed Zayn's hand. "Uh, no. Neither."

"But you said you were hoping I said something to change your mind."

"Right. But not either of those. The only thing I wanted to hear you say was 'I love you'. And I still do."

"But I did."

"When?"

"Last night, I said it. You don't remember?"

He folded his arms. "No, I remember that just fine. But I want to hear you say it when we haven't just slept together. I want to know how you feel twenty four hours later when you've had time to think about it and determine if you've made a mistake or not. I wanna know that you didn't just say it because you heard me say it first or if you didn't just say it because... because you knew it was... you know-"

"What you wanted to hear?"

"Yeah."

He seemed afraid that admitting that might make Zayn angry but Zayn didn't get upset. He understood. Harry had gone without hearing it from Zayn for so long and the one time he ever said those three words was after they made love. It wasn't unreasonable for him to question just how genuine those words were when they came from him.

"But that's the thing. It's different now. I say it because I mean it and I want you to know how I feel. I wish I said it sooner so you wouldn't have those kinds of doubts about me but I am saying it now. And I hope that in the future, if something does come about from what happened between us yesterday, then you'd let me spend quite a lot of my time showing you and proving it to you. Because I know now that that's what I really want to do."

When Zayn shrugged and looked away shyly, Harry smiled and pulled him closer to himself by his elbows. "And that's what I really want you to do."

Zayn slowly smiled up at him. "You do?"

"Absolutely."

"You sound so sure."

"Because I am sure. All I've been wanting was to see you again. And now after everything that has happened, I know I would like it very much if we could figure out a way to get everything back to the way it used to be. I know we'd have to work hard at it, but I want to put everything behind us and move forward." 

"Me too. I do too."

"And we can. But first, I want you to do two things. "

"What are they?"

"First, you have to work things out between you and Asher and let me know. Because I don't want to get my hopes up only to be disappointed."

"I will. Don't worry. And the second one?"

He grinned. "You called me baby when you were teasing me earlier. That's the first time you've ever called me anything other than my name."

"It is?"

"Yes. I guess you never got comfortable giving me your own special nickname or pet name. But regardless of your reason, that's something I wouldn't mind hearing again."

Zayn felt something in his stomach flutter. "A pet name for you?"

"Mhm. Like when I call you babe. You like when I call you babe."

"Maybe."

"No, you love it. And I know you do. Because the smile on your face whenever I used to say it, always said you did. Just like it is now."

Zayn poked his lips out and frowned now. "What smile?"

"Yeah right."

When Zayn laughed, Harry picked him up and spun him around until Zayn hugged his neck. They looked into each other's eyes for a while until Zayn kissed him. Harry slowly lowered him down and he kissed him back.

"I love you." Zayn said.

"I love you too."

"Zayn!"

Zayn looked back to see Yaser standing outside his grandparent's house. He knew his father was probably confused and even upset by what he was seeing.

"I'll be there in a minute!"

"No! Now!"

Harry took his hands from around him because he too could tell that something was wrong and the last thing he wanted to do was make it worse for Zayn. "You should go."

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I understand. Call me when you get a chance. And unblock me, please."

He chuckled a little. "I will."

"Zayn!"

"I'm coming!" He backed away from Harry and then walked towards the house, when he went inside, his father slammed the front door shut.

"What is the matter with you?!"

"Nothing."

"There must be!"

Zayn looked frightened. This was the angriest he had ever seen his father. "No."

"Where have you been?!"

"I- I was... out with Harry."

"Out with Harry?!"

"Yes."

"And how would I know that if you don't tell me?!"

Zayn lowered his voice because he knew he was guilty. "You wouldn't."

"Exactly! I wouldn't! You were supposed to go outside to check the mail and then come back inside. Instead you're out doing who knows what with who knows what! I called your phone so many times! So what's your excuse for not answering?"

"I- I- daddy. I was with Harry and..." Not wanting to tell his father he purposely ignored his calls and slept with Harry, he just broke down into tears right where he stood.

But Yaser quickly pulled him into a hug and held him tightly. "It's okay, Zayn. It's okay. Don't cry. I just wanted you to understand how worried I was when I couldn't get in touch with you. I've already lost your mother. But I don't know what I would do if I lost you too."

Zayn's Aunt had peeked into the hallway after hearing the commotion. But when she saw them standing there together, she quietly left and went to the kitchen, then straight to the refrigerator. Besides the fact that they had been peeking out of the window when they saw Zayn and Harry kiss, she knew Yaser was right and she knew Zayn knew it too. Perhaps that orange soda might come in handy a lot more today than it would have yesterday.

 

➡️➡️➡️

  
"I would say dinner was great." Asher said as he wiped his mouth with the handkerchief.

Zayn nodded. "Yeah. Everything was delicious."

"However, I'm concerned because you haven't seemed like yourself." Asher added and he shook his head as he looked at Zayn. "Honestly, you haven't seemed like yourself since you got back. Are you sure you're alright? I know you said that you wanted to go to dinner with me so we could talk about us but if you're still struggling with the death of your grandparents and you need some time, it's okay. I'll wait for you."

That had saddened Zayn. Here Asher was and he was a man who was beautiful inside and out. Plus he had wonderful intentions and he genuinely cared for him and his feelings. But Zayn was about to crush his hopes and tell him about Harry. The last thing he wanted was to hear him say he would wait for him.

"Asher."

"Yes?"

"I'm aware that I've been acting a bit strange since I returned but I want you to know it's not about my grandparents' deaths. I promise I'm okay."

"That's good. But _what is_ it about?"

"The flowers you bought me before I left."

He smiled. "Oh right. I guess you're expecting the bouquet I said I would give you when you got back. I'm sorry. I didn't forget. I was just waiting for the right time. Like I said, you were acting a bit strange and I was trying to read you so I didn't annoy you."

But he shook his head. "No. That's not what I mean. It's not that you didn't buy them. I don't even want them."

"You don't?"

He sighed. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to do this but he was too scared to rip the band-aid off. "Listen... I know that you do care about me and how I feel and I know that those feelings are more than just about me as your coworker and boss. But I was okay with that and that's why I gave you a chance and went on a few dates with you."

"Yes. And I enjoyed all of them."

"Me too. You were so sweet and nice and just amazing. But..."

"But?"

He sighed and his lips trembled. He wished that he was someone else for the time being and that someone not him could deliver the news. "But I know that you and I would never work out. I wanted to make it work. I really did. But that night we spent together after we left the coffee shop early had told me just how impossible it would be."

He watched Asher's entire expression turn to hurt. "Impossible? But how, Zayn? I don't understand. I thought you genuinely liked me. Why would you refer to us as _us_ if you knew there wasn't going to be an us?"

"I do like you. I always have. But it's not you. It's me."

That only hurt Asher more. "Don't give me that cliche movie script garbage. I want the truth, Zayn. Why would you string me along like that?"

Asher had raised his voice a little so Zayn looked around cautiously. He thought going to dinner in public might reduce his anger but he wasn't so sure that would be the case anymore. "That isn't cliche. It's the truth. The reason we wouldn't work out is because of me. I'm always going to be comparing you to someone else."

"Who would that someone else be? Do I know them? Do they even exist? Or is this _'someone else'_ you speak of just your list of high standards for men you choose to date?"

"I don't have high standards for men I choose to date. If I did, I wouldn't date at all because men would be incapable of meeting them. And besides that, I haven't really dated multiple men to have a long list of standards. You would only make number two in my lifetime."

"Number two? You never even told me about a number one. Is he the one you're comparing me to?"

Zayn didn't answer. But he didn't have to.

"I'll take that as a yes, then. What's his name?"

He tucked his hands in his lap. "It's Harry."

"Harry. Hmm, that's a nice rugged name. I can see why you like him so much. Now let me see if I can guess what he's like. Is he good looking? Spoiled? Rich? A bit of rebel? Maybe he takes you out on dates fancier than I ever could. Perhaps I was wrong. Maybe the someone you're comparing me to not only exists but also happens to be an actual walking list of your high standards."

Zayn shook his head. "No, stop it. It's not like that. His parents are well to do but they're not rich and neither is he. He works at a liquor store. And we don't go on fancy dates. We eat samosas on his parents' living room floor and park our cars in a lot while we eat greasy french fries. He's not a rebel either. He's sweet to his parents because he loves his family with all his heart." He swallowed thickly. "And he loves me too. Just like I love him."

Asher was confused. "He loves you? If he loves you and you love him, then why aren't you with him?"

"I am."

"I mean now. At the moment. Why the hell are you sitting across from me and not him?"

"But I am with him, Asher."

The table went silent for a moment.

"I don't get it."

Zayn felt his stomach drop. It was time to rip the band-aid all the way off now. No more beating around the bush. "Harry is... He's a guy I met when my daddy forced me to spend the summer of my high school senior year at my grandparents' lake house. He lived in the lake house next door with his mother, father and sister. I liked him and we kissed at the end of that summer. So I started coming every summer until we eventually became serious and dated. But we both went off to college and the long distance vs summer visits type of relationship was hard on me more than it was for him. We had a falling out over some things that were said or not said and it led to us breaking up. But I never really wanted to split. I didn't find out that the feeling was mutual until, well..."

"You went back for your grandparents' funeral."

"Yes."

"So you saw him."

"I did."

"And you slept with him."

Zayn looked down in his lap. He didn't have to answer but like last time, his body language made it so obvious.

"You did."

"Asher... don't make me feel guilty about this-"

"How would I do that? How could I? I don't need to do that because you already do feel guilty. You knew when you said yes to my invites that you were still in love with him. You knew that those few times we shared together were just repeats of something you had before you ever knew me. But you chose not to tell me."

A tear fell down Zayn's face and ran over his nose. "Because I didn't want you to be in a relationship with me and wondering if you were better for me intead of him. I got hurt when that relationship ended, okay? I got hurt and I wanted to forget because I thought he forgot me. When I said yes, of course I knew I still loved him. That wasn't the point. The point was that I wanted to move on and do that with you. But my heart never did. And I couldn't go on doing you like that."

"And this decision was officially made before or after Harry invited you into his bed?"

That offended him. "Don't you dare say it like I'm some kind of whore. I don't make decisions based on dick. I make them based on my emotions and on what I feel. I had a wake up call when you asked me to stay in your bed for the night. It reminded me of what I used to do with Harry and I couldn't take it so I ran out because it felt wrong. I knew I wasn't ready to move on. So I made up my mind to tell you the next day when you brought me flowers. Only I got the call about Nan's death and it ruined everything. So I chose to wait until I got back when our minds were clearer. I want you to know that I had no intentions of seeing Harry or getting back together with him. That was just something that happened when we ran into each other and had a talk about where things went wrong. I swear on my life that was exactly how it was."

Asher bit his lip and spoke quietly. Not only was he hurt but he was very embarrassed. "Wow. So... regardless of if you saw Harry or not when you went to visit, you were going to break things off anyway then, huh?"

He nodded. "Yes. I was."

Asher only looked at him before a tear ran down his face.

"I'm sorry, Asher."

"Me too."

"But none more than me. I didn't know that I could hurt you because I didn't think we were really together and if we were, it wasn't long enough." Another tear fell down. "I don't really know where to go from here with you. I really want to be friends. Because I do like you and I think you're sweet and-"

"But I don't want to be friends. I want to date you."

"But you can't."

"And I can't be friends either."

"Why not?" Zayn was frantic. "W-what about ah- What about our professional relationship? We can still maintain that without crossing boundaries or feeling awkward around each other. I know you can because you're a good guy."

"Do you honestly know that?"

"Yes." He answered quietly.

"No you don't. You know me as Asher, your coworker when all he wants to do is get his job done so he can go home for the day. You don't know me as Asher, the guy who has been quietly observing you and liking you for months while waiting on the right time to ask you on a date. You just met that person two and a half weeks ago when I asked you to dinner."

"But I know you're good. I do know that."

"It doesn't matter how good I am because you still don't want me when all I want is you. And you're asking me to work along side you every day and pretend like I don't know that. But I can't."

"So what are you saying?"

He shook his head. "I don't know what I'm saying, Zayn. I'm not really thinking straight right now."

"You're not thinking about anything rash though, right?"

He scoffed. "Zayn, I'm hurt. Not suicidal."

He didn't respond to that. When he glanced around the restaurant, he saw that the couple at the table next to them kept glancing at them. They were not oblivious to the breakup that was happening here and the thought of it just made him want to leave and curl up alone in his bed.

"Well... I... I don't think I should be here any longer. So I'm just gonna go."

Asher looked up at him sadly. "You are?"

"Yes. I am. But don't worry about dinner. I'll pay."

"It's too late."

"No. It isn't. It's fine."

"I said it's too late. I had a feeling you might pay this go round since you paid on the coffee date. But I wanted to do it tonight. I already gave my card to the waiter. So you can just go."

Zayn opened his mouth to say something But Asher wasn't looking at him. It was clear that he didn't really want to talk anymore.

"Well... Thank you. And I'm really sorry. I do hope things work out for the best. For both of us."

"Sure."

Zayn walked away but he did look back just before Asher was out of sight. Four years ago, dating was the last thing on his mind. He never thought there would come a day when he would need to break up with anyone. But it hurt to know he was just as much capable of breaking someone's heart as he was of having his heart broken. If only he hadn't been so afraid of loving Harry and telling him he did. Then none of this would have ever happened.


	15. 6th Summer: Summertime

Zayn was standing in the empty living room in his Papa and Nan's house when he felt someone put arms around him. It was none other than Harry, of course.

"May I ask what's on your mind?"

"Summer."

"Summer?"

"Yeah. The summertime. Spending it with Nan and Papa. I didn't even want to come up here the first summer I was here. But now that they're gone, I'm so glad I did."

Harry pulled him closer. "I'm glad you did too. Or else things would be a lot different for us."

"Yes it would."

"Moving in together would not even be a thought, let alone me and you as a couple. Can you believe it though?"

"Us being a couple?"

"Us moving in together."

He turned around in Harry's arms. "No. I can't. Us buying a house together is... I'm actaully still getting used to the idea."

"Me too. But I can't wait. I'll save so much money on gas now. Driving an hour and a half to work everyday is a lot on my car."

"I told you you didn't have to accept the job near me but you were just so damn hardheaded, Harry."

"You mean so damn in love."

"Whatever."

"The thing is we now know it was worth it in the end. Because this time tomorrow, we'll not only be in the same city but we'll be living together and sleeping in the same bed and eating at the same table."

"Eating at the same table? We never do that even when we visit each other's houses. So I doubt we do that at the new place."

"But this will be a new way of living. So maybe we'll do something new. Who knows?"

He smiled. "Maybe."

"Are you boys okay?" They heard someone ask. It was Zayn's Aunt and she was coming into the living room.

"Yes. Just looking at the house before you lock it up one last time. Going over the memories I made here."

"Ah, yes. There are quite a few here for you, aren't there? It was the same for mom and dad before they passed away. They lived here for thirty three years together. Moved here when Papa turned fifty."

"They were here all my life." Zayn said.

"Yes. You're just twenty two now. Not long enough to have seen them move in. But definitely long enough to have found love here, I see."

Harry kissed Zayn's neck when he heard that and Zayn shooed him off. But he didn't didn't go anywhere. Instead, he had wrapped his arms around him once more.

"I'm gonna miss you."

She smiled at her Nephew. "You can always visit me at my new place. You're always welcome. And Harry, you are too."

"Yes ma'am."

"We should make plans soon."

"Okay. But first Zayn and I are going to triple date with Arty and his wife and D'Angelo and his new girlfriend since we promised we would."

She nodded. "That's fine. Just give me a call."

"I will."

"Ready to go outside and sit on the bank?" Zayn asked.

"Sure, babe."

"Then you go on out. I'll be there in a minute."

Harry politely dismissed himself and went out the sliding doors.

"When you go out, I'll just go ahead and lock the doors and head to the apartment then." Zayn's aunt said and she held up the keys.

But Zayn took a step forward and hugged her. "I didn't want to say anything with Harry here but I know the past eight months haven't been easy for you. I don't expect to be. So that's why I want you to know you can always call me if you need anything. Even if it's just to cry."

"I know, Zayn."

"So don't be afraid to do it."

"I won't. But you are young and settling. You have a life to live and you have so many good things in store for your future. So don't you spend so much time worrying about me. I can promise you that I'll be fine."

He smiled tenderly at her and took a step back. "Well goodnight, then. I'll see you again soon."

"You bet. Goodnight, Zayn."

After that, he quietly left the house and went outside. As much as he had her on his mind at first, deep down he knew she would be alright without him. It was Harry that he wanted to be watching out for more. Because that was the one person he surely knew he could hurt.

➡️➡️➡️

  
"Hi."

Harry picked up a bag from the car and looked up to see a girl standing next to him. "Whoa. Hi."

"So you're moving in?"

"Yeah. I am. You live in this neighborhood?"

"No. Just visiting my parents for the weekend. I came outside because my mother saw you from the window and asked me to greet you for them. She's one of those people that comes to greet you with a delicious pie. Like in the movies. But she was embarrassed that she had nothing to give you today."

He chuckled. "Oh. That's cute and it's just fine. I'm Harry." He stuck his hand out and she shook it.

"I'm Jennifer."

Right when she said that, the smile Harry was wearing was wiped right off of his face and he snatched his hand away. "Good to meet you. I can't stay and talk though. I have to finish bringing everything in."

"Oh. O-kay. Good luck on your new place."

"Thanks." He took something out of the bag and then placed it on the front seat of the passenger side of the car. Then he took the bag in the house. When he got inside, Zayn was just getting off the phone.

"Who was that?" Harry asked.

"Rosie." Rosie was D'Angelo's girlfriend of two months.

"What did she want?"

"She was just asking if we moved in yet and if we needed any help since they were nearby."

"Oh. That's nice of her."

"Yep. I told her we were finished though. That was the last bag, right?"

"Nope."

"I thought it was. How many are there left?"

"Just one. It's on the front passenger seat. Why don't you go get it?"

"Okay. And then after that, I wanna go get donuts and smoothies."

"Sounds delicious."

"It does, doesnt it?"

Harry took the bag to their bedroom and put it on the bed. He could see where Zayn already began to unpack because the other boxes and bags that he brought in were already empty and on the floor against the wall. But instead of unpacking that bag, he sat on the foot of the bed and nervously watched the bedroom door. About another half minute later, Zayn was standing there in the doorway looking at him and holding up a silver band.

"You lied. There was no bag. Just this ring on some fancy handkerchief."

"Oh."

"Clearly you already knew that was on the front seat when you sent me out there though. But my answer is no."

Harry stood up. "No?"

"Yes. It's no." He walked over to him, then took the ring and closed it in Harry's hand.

Harry was so hurt. "I-I don't understand. Why is your answer no? The whole point of us talking about moving in together was because we were settling down together. We said that we wanted to be together and that it was just the beginning of something permanent for us."

"Oh, I know all that."

"So why'd you give this back then?"

He sighed and then dug down in the small coin pocket of his blue jeans. He pulled out his own silver band and held it up. "Because I was going to ask you when we went out for doughnuts once I figured out how to ask it. But since you beat me to it and spoiled the surprise, I am not going to say yes to you." He poked him in his chest. "Not until you ask me like I want to be asked and not until you agree to put that damn ring on my finger yourself."

Harry slowly smiled and breathed a breath of relief that he wasn't being rejected. Then instead of being most cliche and getting down on one knee, he just sat down on the bed and grabbed Zayn's hand. "Okay. Will you marry me?" Before Zayn even gave him an answer, he tried to put the ring on but Zayn snatched his hand back before he could.

"Depends. Will you marry me?"

"You first."

"No. You first."

"No. Because I was the one who worked up the courage to ask first."

"Uh, putting a ring on the front seat in plain view does not qualify as asking."

"Neither does holding it in your pocket with no plan."

"But still."

"No. At the end of the day, I officially asked you first and I have not yet recieved an official answer. So, come on and stop being difficult. It's either yes or no."

Zayn huffed and folded his arms. "Fine. Yes."

But Harry reached around him and popped him on the butt. "Say it like you mean it."

He laughed and corrected his tone to one of enthusiasm this time. But he would never admit to Harry that he loved it when he told him what to do. "Yes. I will marry you."

"Good." He said and he finally grabbed his hand and pushed the ring on his finger. It was cute when Zayn turned it and admired it. "And now you."

"Oh. Right. Will you-"

"Yes."

"You didn't give me a chance to ask you."

"I didn't want one. Obviously I had plans to marry you anyway, seeing as I was the first to be courageous enough to present the ring."

He frowned and put the ring on Harry's finger. "Don't tell me you're going to milk that."

"Oh, I'm definitely gonna milk it. For a while at least. But you can spend all night trying to convince me to change my mind."

"All night?"

"All night. But only after you get your doughnuts and smoothie of course."

"There's no way I'm going all night. It's unrealistic."

"Is it?"

"Yes. It is."

"But it isn't. You would be surprised at how long you could go at the thought of distant neighbors and empty guest bedrooms. There's no one to disturb."

"I understand going long. But all night, Harry?"

"Oh come on, Z. When I say all night, I'm counting foreplay on the way home and of course we've gotta make out afterward." And he looked him up and down. "But if you can't handle what comes in between, we can always stop early if that's what you want."

He knew that Harry was challenging him but he was not going to give him the satisfaction of accepting it. So he ignored it. "Can we please go? I'm really craving donuts right now and I wanna get back and rest. I'm a bit tired."

"Alright, alright. Let me take care of something inside. Then I'll be out. Okay?"

"Okay."

When Zayn left the room and had gone on outside, Harry went to the bathroom and leaned against the kitchen sink. He looked at the ring on his finger and chuckled quietly to himself. It was quite comical that they had asked each other to marry the other on the same day but it was also a lot more comforting that things had gone that way rather than how he thought they would go. He knew that he loved Zayn more than he ever did before and the very fact that they both wanted to be married only reassured him that it was okay to begin to fully forget about the past and feel secure with him. He was just wondering if Zayn was sharing the same thoughts as he waited for him outside.

When he came out to the car and sat in the passenger seat, he squeezed Zayn's thigh hard and left it there.

Zayn had smiled. "What was that for?"

"Simply because I can. That's all."

When Zayn put the key in the ignition and started the car up without complaining, Harry knew for sure that he had every right to feel secure. He knew Zayn was his and he knew that he would continue to be for a very long time.

* * *

  
"Harry."

"What?"

"Stop. Look what you're doing to me. That's not funny." Zayn popped his hand when he pushed his hand further in between his legs.

"I know it isn't funny."

"So stop it then."

"I can't."

Zayn pulled into the driveway of their new home, then took off his seatbelt. "Ugh. And then watch you'll try to tease me when we get inside."

"A good tease never hurt anyone. Besides, I think it makes the end result even better."

He got out of the car, and Zayn stepped out, feeling slightly embarrassed by his erection, being that he was the only one of the two as hard.

"Harry! Harry!"

At the sound of his boyfriend's name, Zayn turned his head in the direction of the sound. A girl was coming out of the house next door with a box in her hand. Zayn had no idea who she was but she seemed to know Harry. So he hid behind him a little so she couldn't see his lower half. She was out of breath when she reached them but she still had a wide smile.

"Hi, Harry."

"Um... H-hello."

"I'm glad I was able to catch you."

Zayn watched him for his response.

"Yeah, sure. What brings you out here?"

"This." She happily held out the box towards him and he took it.

"Oh. What is it?"

"It's a chocolate pie. Mom asked me to go out and buy one to give you. When you pulled in your driveway, your headlights shined in the window, so I came on out. Looks like there's something to give you after all."

"Wow. Thanks. We appreciate it."

Zayn cleared his throat and peeked from behind Harry. "Excuse me? Who are you?"

"This is um... uh. Our neighbor's daughter. Ahm..."

"Jennifer." She said happily. "You were helping Harry move in earlier. What's your name?"

Zayn looked at Harry who was giving him a pleading look. Now he understood why he was hesitant to introduce her by name. He knew how Zayn would react to her and even still, Zayn couldn't help it. "It's Zayn. And I wasn't just helping him. I was also helping myself. I live here too."

"Oh. I see. Roommates. Cute."

"No. Not roommates, sweetie. We're a couple and we're going to get married."

"Zayn."

"What?"

"Stop."

"I'm not doing anything."

"Yes you are."

He folded his arms and stood behind Harry again. Gosh, that name was such a mood killer. He wondered if they were even going to want to do anything after this.

"Thanks for the chocolate pie. We'll enjoy it, I know. Tell your mother I said thank you."

"You could do so yourself if you want. Just pick any day because she's always home. They're retired."

Zayn jumped in before he could answer, then hugged Harry from the side. "That actually sounds like a great idea, baby. We both could do that. But not tonight because we already had plans, remember?" He held the side of his face and then leaned up and kissed him. Harry kissed back but it was an awkward angle, so the kiss was intense, yet sloppy.

Jenifer put her hands behind her back, finding it so uncomfortable. "Well, I guess I'll be going. It was nice meeting both of you. And congratulations on your engagement."

"You too. And thank you." Harry said but Zayn said nothing.

As she trotted accross the grass, Harry shook his head at Zayn. "Shit, Z."

"What?"

"Come inside."

Zayn followed him quietly inside and once they were in with the door locked, Harry said what he had to say. "She doesn't even live with her parents anymore so you didn't have to do all of that."

"I did."

"No you didn't. She doesn't even like me in that way."

"Then why were you hesitant to say her name when you were trying to introduce me?"

"Because I know you. When she introduced herself earlier, the first person I thought about was you and what we went through in the past. I knew you automatically were not going to like her."

"It's not that I don't like her. I just don't like her name."

"Zayn, you called her sweetie. You never call anyone sweetie unless there is dislike there for them. You sounded like a jealous boyfriend. And you looked like one when you tried to snog my face off out there in front of her."

"Jealous? Not jealous. Don't say that." Zayn left and went to the bedroom.

"What? I'm not saying I didn't like it, babe!"

After putting the pie in the refrigerator, he went to the bedroom where Zayn was sitting on the bed.

"When you say that I'm jealous, that makes it sound like Jennifer and Harry could be possible."

"But it isn't. You know I wouldn't."

"Yeah. I know you wouldn't, but her? Not so sure she knows her boundaries after the way she was grinning tonight. But I'm telling you now. Whether she lives next door or not, she can't have you, Harry."

Harry took his shirt off over his head and came over to the bed.

"You're so funny."

"No. I am not funny. I'm serious. She can't have you."

"And why can't she?"

"Because you're already mine."

"And?"

"And I don't want to lose you."

"And?"

Now he smiled. Harry only wanted to hear three words. "And because I love you. That's why."

"Yeah, you do."

Harry tackled him onto the bed and right away, started with those teasing hands. He pressed the tips of his fingers under the waistband of Zayn's pants and down the side of his underwear so he could rub gentle circles over his hip bone.

"And be rest assured that I love you too, Zayn."

"I know."

Harry looked at him dreamily before pulling him in for another kiss. This time it didn't have nearly as much intensity as before. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Because despite that innocence was no longer present among them, the warmness that had gone through Zayn was still so pure.

It was reminiscent of a time that had occurred in the very first summer he came to stay with his grandparents. Long before he had to make the decision to destroy Asher's hopes, long before he ever experienced his first time and long before he ever shared his first kiss. It was back when Harry was just the boy who lived next door and swam in the lake so often that Papa blamed him for running the fish away.

The warmness he was feeling could only be identified as one thing: The same butterflies he had been feeling since the very first summer.

They were Harry's creation then and they were still his magnificent creation till this day. And he hoped that no matter what may come down the road, it would always be just that for every season to come.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> This story is my own so please be kind and not steal anything :)


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